http://www.opendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=A180485 Nothing is too wonderful to be http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A180485&entry=20244 http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A180485&entry=20244 Mon, 17 Jun 2013 00:00:00 GMT http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A180485&entry=20243 http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A180485&entry=20243 <p>2007 was the last time i wrote in this.... it still says im 19 on my front page. im now 25! wtf! wow how time has passed... im still here im not gonna promise that ill start writing again but we will see what happens</p> Sun, 5 Feb 2012 00:00:00 GMT http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A180485&entry=20242 http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A180485&entry=20242 <p>HOLY FREAKEN SHIT! this this still works lol. i was doing a search for a book called diary.... and i saw "opendiary" and i was like OMG i remember that. got on here and mine is still worken and hasnt been erased yet.... wow been a year since iv been devoted to writing in here. wish i had kept it up cuz i started writing a book and i could really use the references lol. well lets see if i can get back on track. </p> <p>seph</p> Sun, 25 Mar 2007 00:00:00 GMT http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A180485&entry=20241 http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A180485&entry=20241 <p>well it is now over a month later and i have finaly decided to write about stuff and elaborate more so i CAN remember these days when i get old and want to read about them. so lets start from where i left off and see what i can get. more then likely im forgetin something and more then likely i might have said something that wasnt completly right just how i remember it. so sorry. </p> <p>the saturday or cruise night i went to wichita with my parents were we saw 9/11 or whatever it was called. we later went to walmart were i saw Kevin... ya didnt think much until about 5 minutes later when i was stalkin him around the store and relized he reminded me or me but there was something more there. went into big anology on how i was the generic brand to his original quality and phillip couldnt get the original so he took me the generic.... ya. so anyway. talked to kevin for about a week then finaly that following thursday after work i went to wichita to meet him.</p> <p>so first thing he did when we met... he pinched my belly fat.... OKAY.... he then continued to do this all night. next thing i noticed... he seemed very arrogant and cocky. was out going didnt care what people thought or said. so went to mall then went to eat at ihop were we talked for about an hour or so. at one point he pulled the hair out of my leg with his damn toes. had good conversation. then went to his house were we watched movies. this went on until about  6 in the morning when i finaly left. during that time. he did one thing that reall stuck out. we were sitting there and he goes "what if i did this" pushed me over and was on top of me and barly grazed my lips with his. didnt kiss me but almost did. kinda like that part in "the wedding date" when she said he was worth every penny. ya i was in a state of shock. whole night i was tellen myself it was wrong so on and so on.... didnt stop me. i then went back to his house that sunday and we hung out some one watched movies. didnt do much. </p> <p>umm then that wednesday he came to vernon... were i threw my friends at him to meet with out any warning. he then was rude to them and they got pissy at me. i didnt help the problem any so i blam myself for the whole thing. had a nice night anyway after halley and erin left. watched movies went to walmart made some pancakes. he stayed over and left the next afternoon. i didnt talk to halley or erin for about a good day. i called halley later in the day to appologize. deep conversation. we dont talk about it anymore and halley doesnt want anything to do with kevin.... i then talked to kevin later in the day..... and i think this is were everything started to go down hill. cuz he was mad that my friends treated me that way.... while they were mad at how he treated them... he then kept saying i needed new friends... and i didnt like that. and took their side for everything it was worth.</p> <p>so then umm.. i think it was about a good week later thursday i went to wichita in the morning to get some movies passes i won on the radio. i picked david up and we hung out. went to walmart... when i got a call from kevin to come see him at msu... basicly drop everything i was doing to come see him. so ok about half an hour later after me and david were done at walmart i went to see him. and well... he didnt like david that much either. so its either people from vernon or my friends in general he didnt like. cuz i got the "you need new friends" speech again and thats when i lost it. had a talk and i told him to never talk about my friends again or something like that. </p> <p>another week later and i go to the football game. just for him. cuz im a people pleaser and ill sit in the rain at a football game... which i dont like... cuz he asked me to. so i met his friend kyna who was really nice. i liked her. i could see myself being friends with her. but ya stayed most of the game and left to get something to eat. came back when it was over and me kevin and kyna went to eat at ihop. fun time. kyna is freaken funny. so then we all went home.... ya i went to wichita for a football game... and that was it. just cuz he asked me... im such a push over. but hey i do whatever to please someone i like... </p> <p>so anyway.... about a week or so later.... its always in weeks. i yet again go to iowa park to stay the night with him.... this time i left the house at 1am cuz he just got off work.... yes i left the house at 1 in the morning just to go over there cuz he asked me to and i wanted to see him. watched some amovie and we both feel asleep. im not sure if it was a dream or what but i do remember him kissing me in my sleep and i will never forget that as long as i live. spent the morning layen in bed watched tv. i finaly saw rent which ill admit was really good. we then ate lunch and i came back to vernon.... that was about 4 or 5 weeks ago and i havent seen him since. iv talked to him twice since then.... </p> <p>nothing ever last long with me. from the way he made it seem. i wasnt that intrested at first. but i was i just didnt want to get involved...then when i did say i wanted to i came off to strong. but still showed no emotion. im sorry damnit i didnt want to get hung up on some one who was apperently dating my x at the time. and for some reason from the begining i felt like i was being used. it might have just been me but thats how i felt and i hope it wasnt true. but ya i still really like kevin and i still want to go further in the relationship... but iv put myself out there. so its his turn now.... and kevin if you read this and i said something sorry. my memory is fuzzy. and um ya. </p> <p>other then that little thing. nothing big. school and work. work is going good. mostly nothing big iv meesed up twice and delivered the wrong thing. and the way he made me feel. it was just his tone that made me wana cry. yes the man almost made me cry just from the tone of his voice. wanst what he said. he wasnt yellen or anything either. but ya im doing good like my job.</p> <p>my life is going really good. right now stuck to the hoobastank song and just did what i wanted and tried not to look back on it. still kinda looken back at kevin and hopen hell catch up. but eh. i cant make him. got a good job doin good in school so far. my friends are happy... well most of them. and ya maken new ones. some of which might be future boyfriends. well see. so people out there..... say what you want and dont think twice and just have fun with what your doing at the time... even if the man makes you cry just from his tone. </p> <p>seph </p> Wed, 27 Sep 2006 00:00:00 GMT http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A180485&entry=20240 http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A180485&entry=20240 <p>ok if i can correctly get everything down that has happened in the past month since the wedding i will be so happy with myself. well i know i will have the dates wrong with some of them but i dont care so here we go. </p> <p>the monday after the wedding. erin starts to move to altus. me and halley help her brad and her parents move them. load my truck up, they have a uhale and her parents car is full. oh and her parents bought them some living room furniture. so we get to altus. they live on base so that was fun getin on. unload uhale. sit around for awhile OH megan and jimmy help... jimmy said nothing to anyone the whole time. him and brad go back to vernon to get more stuff. while me and erin are out getin somehting they call to say the uhale broke down. so hours later they finaly make it back. we had eaten by then and set up some stuff in the house. finaly around 12 we leave for home. </p> <p>uhh.... i think it was the saturday after this me kim halley and stef go to wichita to see the lake house.... eh the commercials made it seem so much better. we drank some booze while in the movie made it alittle better. good movie. but not great. go eat then go to kims new bfs ryans. hes cute. got some cute friends but not all that smart. oh and hes leaven in less then a month to japan for 2 years. dont know why kim is getin attached. so we leave at like 12 cuz were bored out of our minds. on the way home we relized we missed erin and even brad</p> <p>later in the week after that we all go to erins. i think it was oh... shit... a monday i think... me stef and halley go to altus and go to erin and brads to stay the night and hang out. first we go out to walmart and check some stuff out then go to erins were we eat play card games drink alittle... and the piecederesistance.... we played hide and go seek for a good 3 hours lol.  good hiding spots in that house but after 3 hours we ran out of some. good times. so then we left there at like 3 in the morning where halley get pulled over on base cuz apperently pushen your breaks to much causes them to think your drunk. so we go home after that the whole way complaing about the cops lol.</p> <p>later in the week friday to be exact... a week ago... i go back to altus... after my parents go to the lake for the weekend. but im here for a date with a guy named eric. i went earlyer in the day and hung out with erin for awhile. went bowling with her and brad. we all broke 100 which was pretty damn good. so then we went to goodies. and i waited for eric so he showed up and we were going to go see Devil Wears Prada... BUT the website said it sarted at 7:55 at the theater there... well it started at 7 so we drove to lawton to see in there at the 9:30 showing. OH and by the way i tried to finish the book. was close but didnt finish. and by far the book is better. but the movie was damn good to. so then we grabed some pizza and went back to his place and ate and watched ultra violet... totaly didnt understand that movie. was ok. so then went to sleep. slept until like 1 i think and got up and moved around and finaly left around 2 something. finaly made it home at like 4.  </p> <p>this is where i get up to date. so got home showered changed and went over to kims and took some stuff over there for a small get together later in the night. OH kims parents mybad. so we then go out to walmart and get some food and head back over to kims. its me kim and kyndal and were waiten for brad erin stef and halley who are all at the lake. we play some krokey and then go inside and play some board games. gio comes over and me and kyndal kick their asses at taboo. then we go out. stef like messed up her knee and went to the hospital so erin brad and halley showed up late. which we then moved the party to my house were we did a power hour... which sucked. we then played some hide and seek. then drank some more. watched tv. talked. they finaly left around 5 in the morning.</p> <p>umm i couldnt really tell ya what happened in what order after that. sunday i slept. monday i think we all met up at erins parents and just sat around. didnt do much. got in the pool and me and halley renacted a bunch of water type movies. baywatch was the best. brad and his friend andy did some drinken. we eventully went home around like 2. had to take stef home. tuesday was forth of july. went out to halleys and watched tv until like 8 when erin got into town and we went over to her parents. my dad bought me some beer. ya you heard me. i didnt get to drink any cuz brad had to work the next morning so the party was cut short. wednesday. last day everyones in town. so halley me and stef and erin go out to eat.... were we had fun conversation. like the fact that erin woke up to andy and pamala haven sex in her bathroom... which the people at the next table heard about. then we all said bye and that was that. </p> <p>now its saturday morningish.... i havent done much i mowed the yard thursday and thats the most iv done. OH i cleaned my room last night. that was fun didnt take long honestly. phillip has been talken to me alot more lately... which is interesting... dont wana talk about it. cant really cuz he reads this i think.  so ya. well ok thats good im up to date for once. well night</p> Sat, 8 Jul 2006 00:00:00 GMT