Open Diary - FracturedFaerie

Annual Update

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I suppose it's about time I checked in so my account won't be deleted.

I've been writing primarily in my wordpress blog - yeah, the fancy schmancy one that has its own server space and domain name. Go me.

Anyway, I keep this account so I can keep up with my friends who have accounts here. Consequently, I rarely ever actually update. If only there were a way I could post to this site in addition to my regular blog.

A whole year later...

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I last wrote something in this diary. Seriously, I fail.

I'm in a completely different place in my life now. And a completely different place in the country! Well, not so different, still on the East Coast, just further up the coast.

So, what have I done in the past 255 days since my last entry?

- graduated with my Master's

- adopted a toy poodle

- moved to NYC

- worked in finance

- been unemployed for 2 (almost 3 now...) months

- abandoned the church I grew up in, found real faith on my own...and then joined a church that aligns with that faith I found for myself.

I guess those are the big things. I feel like a great deal more has happened, but it would be hard to summarize everything in neat bullet points.

You'd think being unemployed would give me all of this free time that would only lead me to post more, but of course it hasn't. Well, free time, yes, but posting, obviously not. I have heard that it can take about 3 months to find a job in this city, so hopefully something will work out soon. I just feel like something has to come through.

Maybe I can get better about posting.

borrowed and blue

Sun, 1 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Oh Spring.

Once again I find myself surrounded by wedding-type nonsense. Even the fabulous Sex and the City Movie is wedding-centric.

I'm not joking when I tell you that every time I go into Target now I find myself printing out page after page of bridal registry so I can pick up something for the latest member of the bride-to-be club.

I think I'm allowed to be bitter when at nearly every wedding or wedding-related-function one of my dearly beloved friends turns to me and comments, "You know, we always thought you would be first, " or some variation thereof. Like I hadn't thought of that already. Like I'm not sitting there alone because I couldn't even come up with a plus one to shoot "this is awkward" glances at when the situation warrants.

At any rate, yesterday my house became the site of all the pastel-colored fun that accompanies bridal showers as it was my friend Amanda's turn to be celebrated. Her cherry blossom covered wedding is next weekend. As I was planning her shower I asked her if there was anything she wanted or didn't want. Her response? "I want my mother-in-law to stop telling people to wear black to the wedding. Everyone will look like they're in mourning." Since I was already planning to pull out the little black dress, I had to rush out and find something new. I had a really hard time deciding between green and pink, but since I don't have green shoes, I went with a pink babydoll dress.

Anyway, the shower was nice. I hope that I can build up good wedding karma so when/ if it ever comes to be my turn I'll be as lucky as my friends have been. Sadly my camera hid itself so I have no pictures from the shower, but I will most definitely be taking some at the wedding.

Meanwhile, the date for my comprehensive exam has been set. June 19th is the day that will determine if I am going to graduate with my Master's degree. So I need to bury myself in all of my notes and books from the past 2.5 semesters and get to work reviewing. I am absolutely terrified. It's all in my hands now. I would feel better if the exam were a written exam, but it's not, it's oral. So I have to stand in front of 3 professors and stumble my way through the questions. Well, hopefully not. Hopefully I can work my butt off to prepare super well and just walk in there and be great.

Speaking of working my butt off, I've been trying to do just that. Unfortunately, with all these weddings and wedding-related events happening, there has been a lot of really delicious food and an absurd amount of cake. Please, tell me again why people get married in the spring, just as it becomes bathing suit season? Anyway, it's been hard. I see some results though, even just in little ways. The subway stairs outside Bridget's apartment that used to kill me don't seem quite as tall. I still can't keep up with everyone and their New York speed walk (which is crazy, because I already walk fast compared to my friends from here) , but I'll get there, eventually. That's my new plan, to structure my workouts in such a way that I can do all the walking that you have to do in New York at the same pace as my friends without getting all winded.

So this summer is off to a whirlwind start. I can hardly believe it, but I have so much on my plate for this month already (and it's just started). Anyway, here's my summer:

June 7 - Amanda's Wedding

June 13 - Brian's Grad Party/ Birthday

June 19 - MA Oral Exam, then going out to celebrate/drown my sorrows

June 26 - Classes End

July ? - Wisdom teeth come out

July 31 - Apartment Lease Ends/ Moving to New York City!

And of course, in between all those June dates I have class deadlines and things to do too, so it's not like I'm just sitting around. Also take into account that I go to school 3 hours away from where the wedding and party things are happening, so yes. Things are busy. I'm making it work though. And speaking of class, I have a bunch of work I should be doing for that...so I should probably get on it.

Wedding pictures will follow...

countdown

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I started packing for the cruise last night, which sounds absurd because I don't leave until next weekend - but it actually was a very good idea because my suitcase is already full and I haven't packed anything but shoes and bathing suits. I am horrible at packing light, I really am. Some of my really cute shoes will have to stay behind, so for the next week I will mourn them before finally admitting defeat.

I lost another pound. I have to keep reminding myself that when you work out you build muscle which makes the numbers on the scale go up when they should really be going down. So things are not as bad as I feel like they are, but I'm still frustrated. If I'm super good about what I eat this week I should be okay. It won't be perfect, but it won't be horrible either.

My plan is to go tanning, then spend a few hours at the gym, and then probably spend all of my weekend in the library to get things done for next week and the week after spring break because I will not be getting work done over break and really won't want to do it when I get back.

I'm absolutely terrified of the fact that I graduate this summer. I just did this last year, it shouldn't be so scary. But now it will really be over and I won't be in school again for a very long time if ever. Do you see what I did there? I can't get over it. As much as I hate school, I feel like I'm so close to a PhD that I might as well keep going. Well, forget that. It will be a while until I go back. And when I do, I'm going to do it slow, one or two classes at a time. I have to have some time to forget how tired I am of being a student and consequently super poor and stuck doing schoolwork all the time.

Anyway, I'm off to tan and workout.

Back to reality

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I've been missing for a while.

I guess I lost myself in the world of academia. Not that that means anything really. I'm still me. Still struggling with the same old things. Mainly my weight, of course, as always.

I lost 14 pounds this summer, but only 2 since January.

I don't know why I can't lose more.

I'm going on a cruise in 10 days. All I have to wear are bikinis.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

I feel like I'm out of time.