Open Diary - Former Vagabond

Trouble in Boot Camp

Sun, 9 Nov 2008 0:00:01 GMT

Hello All,

I have had many experiences since my last post. They are trivial things... almost.

My police academy schooling is mostly doing well. I am adapting to the environment, mixing with others and scoring good grades. I started later than most in my training but now I am also further along than most. I shun most social gatherings that might involve cameras and I shun telling about my past to classmates. The school completely respects my privacy. It was all great until recently.

One of my professors singled me out for scrutiny. I know he is running a game on me. He wants to test my limits and he is pushing them. I want to knife him each time he calls me "killer" and "gypsy."

Evil Little Monster - Cont'd

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 0:00:01 GMT

Hello Open Diary,

“Evil Little Monster” was a summit of my previous entries.

Let us analyze this. “Evil” is a simple Kant belief term embraced by pop-culture. “Little” is quite accurate. I am quite small for a man of my age. Intellectually and otherwise mentally, my development is not stunted. “Monster” is only accurate in the Jekyll-Hyde form. We all have that. We all have our demons to fight. Personally, I evolved into a more social animal… metaphorically making friends with my demons and bringing them into polite society.

I am a police cadet AND a good student. That proves my superior adaptation. PROVES it. School is out but I am not resting my studies like the weak fools. I understand recreation time. I agree with it. I do not agree with wasted time. I have been taking online courses to compliment my “summer school” education. I will be a detective by the age of 21 at the latest. As an undercover cop of youthful looks, I am almost a free agent with a job radius of many miles.

Let us get back to the “Evil Little Monster” common insult that Eve (my wife) now gives me. It is getting irritating. She now almost does not hear my words by dismissing them with “Evil Little Monster” like “that is because you are an Evil Little Monster”, “ELM… Hello!” and “Evil Little Monsters don’t feel things like we (humans) do.”

I do not fall under the sociopath label. I thought that I did. I looked into it. I do not. I do feel. I do know that on a human-to-human connection level, I am broken. I can mimic any human emotion and-or connection on the planet. That is as far as I can go. I am polite and I have feelings, so I do have friends. Absolutely everything that I think, do and say is relative to my own self-interest. How is that so different from everyone else… different from you?

How did “Evil Little Monster” begin?

It began with some passing comments. In my relationship with Eve, my defenses (and need for them) are getting weaker. I am getting more honest with her. Eve and I are a lot alike. We are really alike in ideals. The biggest difference is that she lies to herself. The only one that I never lie to is I. I am evil apparently because I accept who I am and do not condemn her for who she really is. This is the basics of the whole silly “good-evil” thingy. I am inspired to write a Shakespearian play based upon this experience.

Evil Little Monster

Sun, 11 May 2008 0:00:01 GMT

“Evil Little Monster”
That was the term that Eve called me again recently. She and I are about the same mass, so the term “little” does not apply… unless she is referring to our age difference. That would be a losing battle for her if she chooses to take it to the mental realm.
The term I know is a belittling term. Eve knows I am her mental superior despite my being almost 20 years younger. Still… I do have feelings. Eve is my best friend… my only real best friend. I know (thanx Borealis) that she is doing her psychology books research in an attempt to understand me. I am a fan of intellectuals, so I sort of understand.
I am in training to be a cop… a police man. I am being groomed to be one of the good guys. Eve is wrong about the “evil” issue. I will be greatly effective on the job. I have leverage.
Eve forgot about my mindless actions that I did in the car accident. I care not for glory. I do care about my earnings. My mindless actions during that moment (saving her life did entail it) gave me “morality” points… did it not?
I would argue my point to her all the way down to how mitochondria became a symbiotic organism as a moral issue (biologically speaking). I bellow now about my personal philosophy: Enlightened Self-Interest. Learn it and evolve.

Evolution: Breeding and Children

Wed, 2 Apr 2008 0:00:01 GMT

This entry was inspired by a random noter (*WiKiD*PyNk*)… questioning my vision of how pampering children in their upbringing is part of our human de-evolution. I won’t start there; I will start this rant a bit further back in my thinking than that. Also, evolution in its nature is fresh in my mind (I commented on it recently). I digress, let us begin.

First, let me re-state how humanity is currently de-evolving. High-IQ families are having less than two children on average while low-IQ families are having more than four on average, generally thrice that of their more intelligent counterparts (breeders). That means that stupidity is flooding our human gene pool. If intelligence is our marker that makes us “more evolved” as humans, then this trend is one factor in our de-evolution.

Second, few children not pushed ever really amount to anything. Few children not disciplined ever really succeed or keep out of jail. Most that are raised believing that their mediocre existence is exceptional do not excel and are crushed by reality. This is where I mostly defy the ideals of *WiKiD*PyNk*. Encouraging children is a good thing. Doing so to the point of condescending or delusion is sheer stupidity. If an inept child grows up to be a happy failure who’s world falls apart when the parents (or loved ones or government programs) support system dies… that is a failure on the part of the parents. Even a stray cat can raise a family and a cat brain is mostly only able to live in the moment (despite its intelligence). We humans have the responsibility of raising our young to be better than us, equal at the very (VERY) least. To do less only contributes to our social de-evolution (pampering the weak) and thus affect our descendents.

Third, life is inherently unfair. We all struggle to do the best for ourselves. Most have a harder time at this, some have it easy. Those who struggle more have the benefit of “trial by fire”… not a benefit to most. Those that accept that life is unfair and strive to excel where they are have leverage. Life is unfair, true. Possibilities are many, true. The strongest people go from the lowest of leverage to the highest of successes. Life is about what you do and experience… not about what you believe or wish.

Eh… I have to wake in a few hours. I am cutting this short. My apologies. I must sleep.

Silly Utopia

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 0:00:01 GMT

I considered many things people are saying about what would make the world a better place. I care little about most of them. Most of how I care about making the world a better place involves making my own personal environment (world) more amicable to me. I am realistic about what can be done within my lifetime and by my own pragmatic endeavors. I heard many “Utopian” ideals. I will comment on a few.

1: One world language. I consider this a silly notion. My kin-folk know the lines on the map are mere territorial pi$$ings and nothing more but we learned the languages of the areas involved… the key is learning all the important languages and teaching them to the less popular areas. Global adaptability must be a two-way street.

2: Veganism: All of the world must be vegans because vegans who eat soy protein use 10% as much resources as a meat eater. I agree with this philosophy for the masses. Sure, make eating meat unpopular and socially repugnant. I will forever be a carnivore. I say (to all my fellow meat lovers) “Earn your place on the food chain; eat a vegan… with some vegetarians on the side.” I have no qualms against being the “evil eater of dead animal (or people) flesh.” Philosophically, vegan ideals work. Realistically, humanity may very well go extinct before that “working” philosophy is adopted.

3: Abolish Nationalism: This is a really silly notion. Human beings are territorial animals. We establish borders in every level and every thought. Establishing one world government would only work in the form of a much disciplined confederation. Endorsing tolerance to those defying nationalist ideals is a good thing, abolishing nationalism is futile. Nations are already being removed in the border manner but they are being replaced by trading entities, other corporations, other ethnic persuasions and other religions. All-in-all, nations are mutating (evolving)… not vanishing.

4: Voting Classes: Some believe that since the majority is becoming stupider and stupider as time progresses, only an “elite” group should be allowed to vote. Some believe that these elite should consist of those who served in the military. Others believe that these elite should consist of those who went to special schools. A few believe that those who are financially successful and able to pay to vote should be the select among these elite. Those desiring voting classes are virtually always biased towards their own gifts in their preferred “elite” voting class.
4a: I will post this as an evolution note. The average “high-IQ” family tends to have less than two children. The average “low-IQ” family tends to have more than four children. We are de-evolving because of social norms, mostly helping the relatively unfit and not the gifted. Every generation (due to medical technology and population numbers), humanity is getting dumber. Intellectually, this supports the Voting Class philosophy.
4b: Some of the greatest empires flourished because they encouraged brilliant people to breed at an initially greater cost to themselves. Modern “empires” see no reason for this anymore as it “demeans” anyone who is not truly exceptional… despite how modern society accepts non-intellectual exceptional breeders as the norm (athletes, charlatans, etc) while encouraging the handicap to breed (with special programs after acceptance).
4c: Voting Classes are a silly notion but the philosophy makes some really great points. It would be a great way to correct modern society’s weaknesses. That still leaves out the fact that it would be just another mistake of society.

5: Global Warming: Everyone knew about this since the 70s. It is a natural occurrence that happens naturally in millennia-based cycles. Educated people know that human industrialization greatly accelerated it. Humans are toxic to humanity’s own eco-system… sound the alarm bell. This is news. What global warming does is generally unknown to most of the public… but the idiots are learning. This issue will be handled when millions start being killed by the relative disasters, so (for now) they are not real issues.

6: “Green” Solutions: Except for wind power, solar power, hydroelectric power and some farming endeavors… most of those “green” solutions are mere political ruses.

7: Fascism: It is the newest most successful and effective religion… and also the fastest to collapse. Need I say more?

8: Revival in (insert any religion here): This is society’s hit on the crack pipe… inexpensive and good short-term but you know what happens when one becomes a crack-head.

9: Liberty Issues: Modern society is supposed to be rather freedom-loving and progressive, so anytime an issue that suppresses someone’s equality or liberty comes up (that is legally a grey area), then it is a political ruse to divert the public’s attention from their political failures. Doing war crimes? Denounce stem cell research with a flavor of cloning ban. Popularity in the crapper? Ban gay marriages. Compared to Nazi Germany? Invoke fear about Terrorists and National Security. Free Speech? That is an easy issue to crush.