Open Diary - Pic Akai

Open Diary - Pic Akai http://www.opendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=D753376 Car Crash Syndrome F1: Delhi, India [30th October 11] http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D753376&entry=10200 http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D753376&entry=10200 Well, hours after this aired because I could not be arsed to get up when my alarm went off. Or when the second alarm went off about three hours later. Extra hour's sleep has made zero difference. Grid: <table><tr><td>1. </td><td>Sebastien Vettel</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>2. </td><td>Mark Webber</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>3. </td><td>Fernando Alonso</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>4. </td><td>Jenson Button</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>5. </td><td>Lewis Hamilton</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>6. </td><td>Felipe Massa</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>7. </td><td>Nico Rosberg</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>8. </td><td>Adrian Sutil</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>9. </td><td>Sebastian Buemi</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>10. </td><td>Jaime Alguersuari</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>11. </td><td>Michael Schumacher</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>12. </td><td>Paul di Resta</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>13. </td><td>Pastor Maldonado</td><td>[Williams]</td></tr> <tr><td>14. </td><td>Bruno Senna</td><td>[Renault]</td></tr> <tr><td>15. </td><td>Rubens Barrichello</td><td>[Williams]</td></tr> <tr><td>16. </td><td>Vitaly Petrov</td><td>[Renault]</td></tr> <tr><td>17. </td><td>Kamui Kobayashi</td><td>[Sauber]</td></tr> <tr><td>18. </td><td>Heikki Kovalainen</td><td>[Lotus]</td></tr> <tr><td>19. </td><td>Jarno Trulli</td><td>[Lotus]</td></tr> <tr><td>20. </td><td>Sergio Pérez</td><td>[Sauber]</td></tr> <tr><td>21. </td><td>Jérôme d'Ambrosio</td><td>[Virgin Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>22. </td><td>Daniel Ricciardo</td><td>[Hispania Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>23. </td><td>Narain Karthikeyan</td><td>[Hispania Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>24. </td><td>Timo Glock</td><td>[Virgin Racing]</td></tr></table> Woop! Awesome intro. Probably one of the best. Jake and DC trying to join in Bollywood dancing: epic. "DC shoe company?...Oh, David, yeah yeah!" Hahaha. This bloke's been watching since Niki Lauda and he doesn't recognise Eddie Jordan? He's not been watching that hard then, eh? Well, for sure, I'd not dream of playing football in Yankee stadium. But, you know, not sure your analogy works since you'd still play baseball in both Yankee stadium and Angel stadium, because they're both for baseball, despite being different stadiums. In the same way, F1 is gonna be raced both here and at Monaco and so on. I was thinking this yesterday, as soon as the qualifying programme started...the air looks awful. I couldn't work out why it looked so dark and weird until they mentioned air quality later, and then it made sense. Argh, LG. LG suck! Had two phones from them and both were rubbish. Grid girls. Ugh. Don't even. Hehehe, Rowan looks ridiculous. He just has just a ridiculous face. Love 'im. Two people in two weeks dead in motorsport. One is enough of a shock because it is rare, these days, but two is chilling. May you rest in peace, Dan Wheldon and Marco Simoncelli. Oh shit, we do not need front wing problems right now. Oh, it's all right, it's happening at Alonso's car. Ooh, I love that graphic showing the progress along the track while you see the qualifying lap. That works very well for me. 09:33: And they're off! A couple go off, contact at the back. Webber gets into second, more contact with Trulli and an HRT? Yellow flags. Button's now in second, Hamilton down to sixth. Massa's holding onto fifth. 09:35: This seems like a weird time to start a race, no? I'm sure they always start on the hour. Perhaps not. Kobayashi has stopped, someone's wing is being retrieved, Barrichello's that is. He's pitting to get a new one. 09:38: Glock retires, and Petrov pits on lap four, which is a tad early. 09:43: In amongst all the information, a quite sweet, "Keep pushing, Jaime, you can do it." Well, we hope so, otherwise he's a bit of a waste in that car, eh? No, truly though, I do find it sweet, heh. 09:47: Cars drive, and stuff. I tuned out and tuned back in to Martin saying, "And we have a fairly static race at the moment." Yep. 09:53: Maldonado has parked out way off the track. His engine's just decided it's had enough. 09:58: Webber pits, Alonso pits, some McLaren pits quite close to the others - Hamilton. Alonso has dropped behind Schumacher as a result of the pitstop, but Schumi hasn't pitted yet. 10:01: Button pits. 10:03: Massa does a fastest lap of the race. 10:10: Hamilton is very close behind Massa and OH FUCK! What?! Hamilton hits Massa (do they carry fucking opposite magnets or something?!), something to do with Massa's mirrors? - yeah, Massa comes across, ahead, on the racing line, but Lewis is there, and they meet. Massa appears to still be moving (LOL at Rowan's face) but, oh, fuck off. Hamilton has come through the fits, Massa still appears to be out there but I don't know what's going on...seems to be fifth. And then goes wide across a corner. 10:12: Hamilton's now in ninth. Buemi stops out near to the track with the car steaming all over the shop. He climbs out and marshals run in with extinguishers. Incident with Hamilton and Massa under investigation and FINALLY they label the drivers along with the car numbers! 10:14: Yeah, I note Martin's saying, "I've got a feeling he'll get a drive-through for it," without needing to clarify at first that he means Hamilton. I don't know about that one - Massa turned into him, but he did have the racing line and was ahead and the mirrors are shit (they need to fucking sort those out) so it was unlikely to be calculated (and why would you turn into someone else on purpose anyway? That's just stupid. I know some people do, hi Ayrton, but not Massa). So Lewis should have known he was going to do that, but then would he have thought Massa would have known he was there and so wouldn't turn in? I don't know. Fence sitting myself again. 10:16: Apparently Massa's going to the end of the race on these tyres? Lap 28 of 60. Hmm. Massa on the radio saying he has a problem with the gearbox on the downshift. SIGH. 10:19: Er, what now? They have penalised MASSA for turning in on Hamilton. In what backwards universe are we living here?! Fuck off! He had the racing line! 10:20: Massa does his drive-through. Comes out in seventh, with Hamilton in eighth. A while behind him but I bet they'll find each other. 10:22: Apparently he's not keeping those tyres as Massa pits now and changes the nose. Hard tyres. Why do I even bother watching this sport any more? It's a done fucking deal, no matter how we get there. Oh great, the front wing doing its shaking deal again. Petrov takes a wander off the track and picks up a load of dust on the way. 10:25: Massa's suspension is broken and he's out. Fuck this noise. And yeah, on another fucking kerb. 10:27: Hamilotn then now in seventh. Yellow flags out to clear the Ferrari. Rosberg's in fifth, Schumacher in sixth. 10:30: Red Bull mechanics dash into place, Webber pits. Ted attempts to shout over the stop and fails. He's got the hards as well. No, I don't mean that and you know it. 10:39: Cars driving. 10:42: Perez doing a comical fist-shake as he passes a back-marker. 10:43: Rosberg and Hamilton pit for hard tyres. Hamilton comes out in eighth just ahead of Vettel, haha. 10:44: Button pits and comes out second, vair close to someone else, Senna in ninth, which is all a bit of a weird situation. 10:45: Vettel pits. Still very much first. 10:50: Schumacher pits from fifth. Comes out still in fifth. 11:02: We're on lap 59 but I've long since stopped caring. Barichello's doing absolute rubbish. di Resta's only in thirteenth. Lame. 11:04: Vettel wins. I am full of bitterness for the boredom. It means nothing any more when he wins and thanks them and is all, "Yeah we did it." No shit, Captain Obvious! Obviously I don't want him to be all, "Well yeah, that's what should happen," but there is a sheen of smugness that you can't get rid of even when he appears to be all happy and grateful. Can't win there really, I don't think. Unless he STOPS WINNING. Results: <table><tr><td>1. Sebastien Vettel</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>2. Jenson Button</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>3. Fernando Alonso</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>4. Mark Webber</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></td></tr> <tr><td>5. Michael Schumacher</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>6. Nico Rosberg</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>7. Lewis Hamilton</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>8. Jaime Alguersuari</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>9. Adrian Sutil</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>10. Sergio Pérez</td><td>[Sauber]</td></tr></table> Championship standings: <table><tr><td>1. </td><td>Sebastian Vettel</td><td>374</td></tr> <tr><td>2. </td><td>Jenson Button</td><td>240</td></tr> <tr><td>3. </td><td>Fernando Alonso</td><td>227</td></tr> <tr><td>4. </td><td>Mark Webber</td><td>221</td></tr> <tr><td>5. </td><td>Lewis Hamilton</td><td>202</td></tr> <tr><td>6. </td><td>Felipe Massa</td><td>98</td></tr> <tr><td>7. </td><td>Nico Rosberg</td><td>75</td></tr> <tr><td>8. </td><td>Michael Schumacher</td><td>70</td></tr> <tr><td>9. </td><td>Vitaly Petrov</td><td>36</td></tr> <tr><td>10. </td><td>Nick Heidfeld</td><td>34</td></tr></table> No way, the dude presenting Alonso's trophy is Karun Chandhok's dad! Cool. Yeah, I can't really see Massa looking there. There's one shot where it's possible, but I wouldn't have thought that at all unless it had been mentioned, and even then I'm not sure - it's not very obvious at all. What Hamilton says saddens me though. If it's true that Massa's just totally blanking him...they actually used to be friends. And okay, I get that he's angry with what has happened and several times been Lewis's fault, and with Lewis's reactions to those things maybe, but it does make me sad. I didn't think it was Massa's style to just ignore someone. Perhaps he feels that's better than communicating with anger, but...I dunno. "They need the money - you can have my shirt." Could I just give the money and not have the shirt...? Bollywood style dancing looks like so much fun. If only I could dance... Pic Sun, 30 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT F1: Yeongam, Korea [16th October 11] http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D753376&entry=10199 http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D753376&entry=10199 06:00: Have had three hours' sleep yesterday evening. Since then have had another twenty minutes or so. Am broken. Grid: <table><tr><td>1. </td><td>Lewis Hamilton</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>2. </td><td>Sebastien Vettel</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>3. </td><td>Jenson Button</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>4. </td><td>Mark Webber</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>5. </td><td>Felipe Massa</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>6. </td><td>Fernando Alonso</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>7. </td><td>Nico Rosberg</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>8. </td><td>Vitaly Petrov</td><td>[Renault]</td></tr> <tr><td>9. </td><td>Paul di Resta</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>10. </td><td>Adrian Sutil</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>11. </td><td>Jaime Alguersuari</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>12. </td><td>Michael Schumacher</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>13. </td><td>Sebastian Buemi</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>14. </td><td>Kamui Kobayashi</td><td>[Sauber]</td></tr> <tr><td>15. </td><td>Bruno Senna</td><td>[Renault]</td></tr> <tr><td>16. </td><td>Pastor Maldonado</td><td>[Williams]</td></tr> <tr><td>17. </td><td>Sergio Pérez</td><td>[Sauber]</td></tr> <tr><td>18. </td><td>Rubens Barrichello</td><td>[Williams]</td></tr> <tr><td>19. </td><td>Heikki Kovalainen</td><td>[Lotus]</td></tr> <tr><td>20. </td><td>Jarno Trulli</td><td>[Lotus]</td></tr> <tr><td>21. </td><td>Timo Glock</td><td>[Virgin Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>22. </td><td>Jérôme d'Ambrosio</td><td>[Virgin Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>23. </td><td>Vitantonio Liuzzi</td><td>[Hispania Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>24. </td><td>Daniel Ricciardo</td><td>[Hispania Racing]</td></tr></table> Yeah, Lewis yesterday was weird. Just all, "Yeah. Pole. Woo." It's a good thing DC seems quite sanguine about his achievements in F1, because he's had so much teasing this weekend about it... Though to be fair he has initiated like half of it. I love it when Jake brings up what DC's been doing off-camera. They are an adorable couple. Okay BORED with Seb Vettel! I get it he won! I have been bored with him since like the end of last year. This is not helping. Hahaha! "Well, he's coming now, he has to go from the garage to the grid. You used to drive cars, Martin..." Ow. Yeah, thanks for bringing that up, Martin. It hurt me, too. Yay! I love Karun Chandhok. I want him to be back in a car because I think he is so nice, he deserves it (I clearly could not run a profitable business of any kind) but I also love him being out of one because it means they can bring him in to do some of the pundit work, and he is a complete natural at that, it's weird. Ooh, him, DC and Jake, I would be delighted with that team. Having said that, Eddie being there does provide multiple options to take the piss... 07:03: And they're off! Contact at the back a bit between a Toro Ross and a Sauber. Vettel's trying to pull out but - whoop, Massa up to third! - Hamilton's still holding him off. Button is trying to get past Massa and fuck, Vettel's into the lead and Webber now gets ahead of Massa, dammit. 07:05: Button is now in sixth. 07:06: Liuzzi was one in contact as he comes out of the pits with a new nose. 07:11: Light rain is apparently starting to fall. Delicious. 07:13: I've only just noticed that the back of di Resta's rear wing bears the legend MEXICO (in quite nice bright colours, actually). Seems a bit odd for a Scotsman in an Indian team, but I'm assuming it's some not particularly imaginatively named sponsor. 07:19: Someone's front wing randomly sitting on the track. 07:20: Jenson being told he can have the cars in front. He's coming up on the back of Alonso and Massa, who're 0.9 behind Massa and Webber respectively. Come on, Felipe, get a shufty on. Webber's 4.1 behind Hamilton, who's 2.9 behind Vettel. 07:22: Er, Massa's now suddenly 1.6 behind, but no great change behind, so what happened there? Button is crawling on Alonso's rear wing now but not quite sitting on it yet. 07:24: Shut up, Martin and DC, don't give Ferrari ideas! Saying that, Massa has lost another 0.6, and Webber and Hamilton a bit more as well. 07:26: Button comes in to pit. As does Rosberg, who gets away before him, which is a bit awkward...oh what! He makes a mistake somehow as they come out, and then Button gets ahead! But then he gets the slipstream and now he's ahead...right, okay. 07:28: Massa, Pedrov and Schumacher all pit. Possibly some other people as well but the live timing's frozen now (we started out with dead driver tracker). Oh, I lie, my driver tracker's crashed too but it's lying about bandwidth. 07:30: Hamilton pits. So does Alonso. 07:31: Alonso has a bit of an awkward moment where Schumi almost takes his front wing off, but sadly not. Vettel pits now. Interesting, Schumacher spun out and continued, and safety car's out as Petrov has left part of his car on the track and is happily sparking up the racetrack. Oh dear, he hit Schumacher, and his car looks a bit mucked up to say the least. Haha, okay, it wasn't Schumacher spinning on his own, Petrov hit him causing the ballet. 07:34: Schumacher retires and Petrov's steering arm is broken, so he's out too. 07:35: It's now Vettel, Button, Webber, Hamilton, Rosberg, Massa, Alonso. Rubbish. 07:42: Safety car is in. Racing again. 07:45: Little bit more clipping in the midfield, some rear wing detaching itself. 07:49: Massa is 0.4 from Rosberg, but Alonso is only 0.5 from him. And apparently Massa lost out when he pitted as he had to wait for Schumacher as well. Sigh. 07:52: And now bizarrely, Alguersuari is coming up on Alonso. Come on Massa, pass'm! 07:53: Woah! Rosberg has a huge lockup, Massa passes, then so does Rosberg...unfortunately now Alonso is trying to go for Massa. But still, past Rosberg. 07:54: Felipe's now about 6 seconds behind Button. Rosberg's pitted. Barrichello, incidentally, lingering in thirteenth. di Resta in tenth. 07:57: Yes, Massa is catching Button. Rob says he's got up 4 tenths in a lap. Good work! 07:58: Interesting three-way fight going on a bit down the field. No idea who's involved in that though. Debris on track apparently and yellow flags. 08:01: Maldonado is done but no idea why yet. di Resta and Barrichello both pit. 08:02: Haha, Hamilton's radio that was missed was, "Don't talk to me while I'm on the brakes." 08:03: Annoyingly, Massa appears to be dropping back a bit from Button now, or is definitely not closing. 08:04: Lewis is pitting this lap. And Webber is also in behind him... And Webber comes out behind him still, on the same tyres. 08:05: Webber's going for a pass but it looks like nothing doing. Despite Hamilton going pretty wide - oh, he gets past! Now side by side though and Hamilton's just ahead, and pulling off...but Webber's ahead now...now Hamilton...argh. Vettel pits but nobody cares. Button and Massa have also both pitted. 08:07: Massa is in ninth at the moment behind Sutil. Alonso annoyingly is leading the race, having not pitted yet. Not a pitstop ahead of Massa yet but irritatingly close. (Are we getting that I'm not a huge fan of Alonso yet?) 08:18: Feck, this blog decided not to save some of my updates in between saves. Suffice to say, Alonso bloody overtook Massa at the pitstops. Massa's in sixth now. 08:19: Well yeah, he could have been in front of Button had he not been behind Felipe, but why is it we expect him to pass all the other drivers on the grid to win but not his teammate? If you're a good driver it shouldn't matter a toss who's in the car in front of you. If you need a helping hand to get past them, then you're not really doing your bloody job, are you? I don't mind it when teams ask people to pass when there's a proper reason, and I mean a fight for the title, towards the end. But other than that, no, fuck off and race like you'd have to if it wasn't your teammate. 08:22: Webber is 0.3 behind Hamilton in second and third. And Button being encouraged to cruise up to the back of Webber. 08:30: Webber goes for the pass on Hamilton...he's ahead for the time being but now Lewis has the DRS and HE gets ahead...man that track is horrific offline in some places.... 08:31: Ahahaha at, "Is that Webber in front again oh no it's a replay I'm so excited!" and the joint giggles afterwards! Bless. 08:32: Aw, di Resta gets passed by Buemi for ninth. Barrichello is arguing with Senna for thirteenth. 08:38: Hahahaha WHAT? Alonso comes over the radio to say, "I give up, I give up." No ambiguity there! Although DC thinks that's a dummy message to McLaren, which is just annoying. And Martin thinks it's a snub to Ferrari for 'leaving him behind McLaren', which, if it is is pathetic. But then this is why I can't stand Alonso, because he's a kid who kicks his toys out of the pram if he doesn't get what he wants. Which may not be what he's doing right now (at least in relation to Felipe) but let's face it, he's got form. 08:40: Mark being told to use the overtake button if he gets the chance? Well, um, duh? Alonso now coming up on Button, so commentators guessing it was a dummy message. 08:41: But pointless anyway, as Vettel takes the win (BLAH). Results: <table><tr><td>1. Sebastien Vettel</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>2. Lewis Hamilton</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>3. Mark Webber</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>4. Jenson Button</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></td></tr> <tr><td>5. Fernando Alonso</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>6. Felipe Massa</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>7. Jaime Alguersuari</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>8. Nico Rosberg</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>9. Sebastian Buemi</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>10. Paul di Resta</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr></table> Championship standings: <table><tr><td>1. </td><td>Sebastian Vettel</td><td>349</td></tr> <tr><td>2. </td><td>Jenson Button</td><td>222</td></tr> <tr><td>3. </td><td>Fernando Alonso</td><td>212</td></tr> <tr><td>4. </td><td>Mark Webber</td><td>209</td></tr> <tr><td>5. </td><td>Lewis Hamilton</td><td>176</td></tr> <tr><td>6. </td><td>Felipe Massa</td><td>98</td></tr> <tr><td>7. </td><td>Nico Rosberg</td><td>67</td></tr> <tr><td>8. </td><td>Michael Schumacher</td><td>60</td></tr> <tr><td>9. </td><td>Vitaly Petrov</td><td>36</td></tr> <tr><td>10. </td><td>Nick Heidfeld</td><td>34</td></tr></table> Ew. Seb. Just shut up. His enthusiam actually annoys me now. And Red Bull have won the constructors' championship too. Rosberg is out of fuel on the side of the track, oops. WTF man, these girls aren't even properly dressed. This is getting stupid. It's 2011, people! It's probably some sort of cultural fail that I am hearing this music and can only hear, "Drink with your family, drink it with your friends, drink till you're fat, stomach distends," and so on. Weird Al Yankovich, you have ruined me. Thanks though, 'cause it's a fun song. Pic Sun, 16 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT F1: Suzuka, Japan [9th October 11] http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D753376&entry=10198 http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D753376&entry=10198 Late entry because I could not face getting up at 6am. Just wasn't going to happen since I didn't sleep till past 3. Grid: <table><tr><td>1. </td><td>Sebastien Vettel</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>2. </td><td>Jenson Button</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>3. </td><td>Lewis Hamilton</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>4. </td><td>Felipe Massa</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>5. </td><td>Fernando Alonso</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>6. </td><td>Mark Webber</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>7. </td><td>Kamui Kobayashi</td><td>[Sauber]</td></tr> <tr><td>8. </td><td>Michael Schumacher</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>9. </td><td>Bruno Senna</td><td>[Renault]</td></tr> <tr><td>10. </td><td>Vitaly Petrov</td><td>[Renault]</td></tr> <tr><td>11. </td><td>Adrian Sutil</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>12. </td><td>Paul di Resta</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>13. </td><td>Rubens Barrichello</td><td>[Williams]</td></tr> <tr><td>14. </td><td>Pastor Maldonado</td><td>[Williams]</td></tr> <tr><td>15. </td><td>Sebastian Buemi</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>16. </td><td>Jaime Alguersuari</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>17. </td><td>Sergio Pérez</td><td>[Sauber]</td></tr> <tr><td>18. </td><td>Heikki Kovalainen</td><td>[Lotus]</td></tr> <tr><td>19. </td><td>Jarno Trulli</td><td>[Lotus]</td></tr> <tr><td>20. </td><td>Jérôme d'Ambrosio</td><td>[Virgin Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>21. </td><td>Timo Glock</td><td>[Virgin Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>22. </td><td>Daniel Ricciardo</td><td>[Hispania Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>23. </td><td>Nico Rosberg</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>24. </td><td>Vitantonio Liuzzi</td><td>[Hispania Racing]</td></tr></table> I love how DC and Eddie are very seriously talking about the history of F1 in Japan, and Jake is just like, "Screw it, I'm eating, this is awesome." Jake has got Jenson's chin mucky. I don't think we need to take that any further... Stop saying 'tasty' Jake! It's creepy! Nobody actually really uses that word in real life, argh. Haha, Martin, if she responds to, "Do you speak English?" in Japanese, the chances are she's not going to suddenly start speaking English if you carry on with it... Rocky's talking to his engineer? Is he? Last I heard Rocky was the engineer... This is a bit weird, to do half a pitwalk with Martin and then do a second half with Eddie. Although Eddie's are a bit more, er, haphazard... 07:03: And they're off! Hamilton gets into second at the first corner, Massa's hanging onto fourth and Alonso behind him annoyingly. Meh, so not much of a start. 07:04: Kobayashi down to twelth, oh dear. di Resta already into eighth! Good lad. Hope he's feeling better today, and Perez. Button saying Vettel ought to get a penalty for forcing him onto the grass. Need to see a replay before I can have any opinion on that (but how funny would it be if Vettel got a penalty?). 07:06: Interesting, that incident is under investigation already. Yeah, I have no idea about that because it is the start, so dunno what rules work there. It doesn't seem like Vettel needed to do that...but again, dunno. 07:09: Rosberg is now into nineteenth. 07:12: Oh, fuck. Alonso just sweeps past Massa and apparently bugger all is done about that. Ugggggh. At the moment I am seriously thinking he might be better off in a midfield team where he's not somebody's bloody whipping boy. He'd be out of contention for a title but he'd be a damn sight more interesting to watch and he might be a bit happier, too. Ferrari have just been treating him weirdly the last few years. Keeping him on even though there appear to be faster drivers, since his accident, but not giving him the chance to get back up there. And I wouldn't want to bet on how much of that is because Alonso doesn't like in-team competition. Perhaps, with all of that, he simply had a problem...but there are several reasons why I've gone on this rant off seeing that, y'know? 07:15: Stewards are taking no further action over the Vettel/Button thing. 07:16: Massa talking about the balance to Rob, not sure what was going on there - and Hamilton has a problem seemingly and is coming into the pits. He gets new tyres and then gets back out. Ah, apparently he had a right rear puncture. 07:18: Vettel pits too. Alonso, disgustingly, is apparently flying. Oh, what is the POINT any more. Schumacher pits. 07:20: Now Button and Alonso and Webber pit, and Massa is out in the lead. They all come out Vettel, Button, Alonso, Hamilton, Petrov, Buemi and Webber. 07:22: Massa pits, gets soft tyres like the others, and comes out...fifth. Webber is now behind him. 07:23: Apparently they snapped off the gurneys on Massa's rear wing, so he's got less balance - oh dear, haha, Buemi's come off in the gravel and his tyre just slowly falls off. So likely wasn't put on properly at the stop. Yellow flags for that. di Resta's in fifteenth now after a pitstop. Button is 2.3 behind Vettel. Rosberg's in eighteenth. 07:25: Hm, Button now suddenly another half second behind. 07:36: Some people are driving, and stuff. 07:37: Button is ahead of Vettel after Vettel's stop, though in fourth place. Which means Vettel's in fifth now behind a load of people ahead who've only done one stop - but then Lewis pits before he and Massa end up in another argument. Massa leads again, though I have no idea how since everyone's - oh, bloody hell! Massa and Hamilton actually did touch, and Massa lost some front wing! Fucking hell. 07:40: Ferrari are out for Massa now. He comes out in sixth. 07:42: Button's leading by now ahead of Vettel. 07:43: Safety car's now been called. And HA, Hamilton's in seventh behind Schumacher, though annoyingly the car will bunch them all up again. DC and Martin think the car might be more the debris on track. 07:45: Kobayashi pits and comes out in - well, it was twelth then they released Rosberg and they raced down, so he's in twelth and Koba's in thirteenth, 07:46: Interesting. The incident with Massa and Hamilton is being investigated. Waching the marshals collect the debris, incidentally: hilarious. 07:48: Rob saying there is a little bit of damage to the car but nothing big. 07:51: No further action apparently for that incident, and woah, Jenson really backing the pack up before he goes as the SC has gone in. Jesus, it's really close, and if Hamilton hits Massa again I'm gonna fucking hit HIM. 07:53: Lewis complaining a bit about his car but being told they can't see anything wrong with it. Well it serves you right! (Yes, I may be a little bit biased by now.) 08:00: Er, message from Smedders of, "Okay, maybe a little bit close with Hamilton now." Sounds a bit dejected there actually. That message doesn't really say a lot, but then that's probably the majority of Rob's transmissions, which seems to work for Felipe, so. 08:03: Webber pits. Comes out in eleventh. 08:05: And Vettel, hilariously, after a pitstop I missed, is in ninth and trying to pass Sutil. 08:06: Hamilton pits. Comes out in tenth. Button pits from the lead, and Massa does too. Massa seems to be taking some time to come out... 08:08: Aand Hamilton passes Massa, dammit, and then Alonso has got in front of Vettel? Now we're looking like Schumi, Button, Alonso, Vettel, Webber, Rosberg, Hamilton and Massa. 08:13: Hamilton and thus Masssa being held up by Rosberg - and just as I type that, Hamilton passes him. 08:14: Button coming up behind Schumacher, but then he pits anyway so Button gets the lead again (woo!). Vettel nipping at Alonso's heels. 08:15: Massa's in seventh now as Rosberg has pitted, and Massa's behind Schumacher. 08:21: What was that, Vettel? Shaking his fist as he passes. 08:22: Well, balls. di Resta's falling back and into thirteenth now. Rosberg's in twelth ahead of him. 08:24: Petrov takes tenth from Kobayashi. 08:24: Perez, meanwhile, is holding on very well in eighth. Vettel and Webber being told not to take any risks with the cars ahead. 08:30: Oh no, Alonso's in range of Button now on 51 of 53. Don't let Alonso win it! Come on, it's been a rubbish race in general for my boys but let me have Button winning. 08:31: Oooh, Button does the fastest middle sector of the whole race. Good lad. And three tenths up on Alonso now from the last lap! 08:32: Another fastest middle sector. Love you, Jenson. Love you. Final lap. And new fastest lap of the race. 08:34: And Jenson wins! Yay. Annoyingly he is then followed by Alonso and bloody motherfucking world champion Sebastien Vettel, but you really can't have everything. Button seems to have stopped in some really weird place... Results: <table><tr><td>1. Jenson Button</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>2. Fernando Alonso</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>3. Sebastien Vettel</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>4. Mark Webber</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></td></tr> <tr><td>5. Lewis Hamilton</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>6. Michael Schumacher</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>7. Felipe Massa</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>8. Sergio Pérez</td><td>[Sauber]</td></tr> <tr><td>9. Vitaly Petrov</td><td>[Renault]</td></tr> <tr><td>10. Nico Rosberg</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr></table> Championship standings: <table><tr><td>1. </td><td>Sebastian Vettel</td><td>324</td></tr> <tr><td>2. </td><td>Jenson Button</td><td>210</td></tr> <tr><td>3. </td><td>Fernando Alonso</td><td>202</td></tr> <tr><td>4. </td><td>Mark Webber</td><td>194</td></tr> <tr><td>5. </td><td>Lewis Hamilton</td><td>178</td></tr> <tr><td>6. </td><td>Felipe Massa</td><td>90</td></tr> <tr><td>7. </td><td>Nico Rosberg</td><td>63</td></tr> <tr><td>8. </td><td>Michael Schumacher</td><td>60</td></tr> <tr><td>9. </td><td>Vitaly Petrov</td><td>36</td></tr> <tr><td>10. </td><td>Nick Heidfeld</td><td>34</td></tr></table> Ooh, haha, Jenson (after congratulating Vettel) saying, "Didn't you, er, see me at the start?" with a little grin. And then, "That's how we're racing then." This rendition of the national anthem seems a bit slow, but maybe they've slowed it down seeing as it's so short, heh. Incidentally, WTF is going on today with the pictures and sound? Yeah, BBC, you might want to tack, "and the sound problems," onto that. Wing mirrors, yet again. I know they don't make things very aerodynamic, but y'know, if it was a rule that 'I didn't see him' wasn't a good enough excuse they'd all make bloody useful ones, and then we'd stop having this silly little things which often end up only inconveniencing one driver who's just coming up behind. Pic Sun, 9 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT F1: Marina Bay, Singapore http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D753376&entry=10197 http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D753376&entry=10197 12:10: Am here. Still sick and sleepy, but here. Grid: <table><tr><td>1. </td><td>Sebastien Vettel</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>2. </td><td>Mark Webber</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>3. </td><td>Jenson Button</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>4. </td><td>Lewis Hamilton</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>5. </td><td>Fernando Alonso</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>6. </td><td>Felipe Massa</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>7. </td><td>Nico Rosberg</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>8. </td><td>Michael Schumacher</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>9. </td><td>Adrian Sutil</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>10. </td><td>Paul di Resta</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>11. </td><td>Sergio Pérez</td><td>[Sauber]</td></tr> <tr><td>12. </td><td>Rubens Barrichello</td><td>[Williams]</td></tr> <tr><td>13. </td><td>Pastor Maldonado</td><td>[Williams]</td></tr> <tr><td>14. </td><td>Sebastian Buemi</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>15. </td><td>Bruno Senna</td><td>[Renault]</td></tr> <tr><td>16. </td><td>Jaime Alguersuari</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>17. </td><td>Kamui Kobayashi</td><td>[Sauber]</td></tr> <tr><td>18. </td><td>Vitaly Petrov</td><td>[Renault]</td></tr> <tr><td>19. </td><td>Heikki Kovalainen</td><td>[Lotus]</td></tr> <tr><td>20. </td><td>Jarno Trulli</td><td>[Lotus]</td></tr> <tr><td>21. </td><td>Timo Glock</td><td>[Virgin Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>22. </td><td>Jérôme d'Ambrosio</td><td>[Virgin Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>23. </td><td>Daniel Ricciardo</td><td>[Hispania Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>24. </td><td>Vitantonio Liuzzi</td><td>[Hispania Racing]</td></tr></table> "You actually look quite young yourself for a thirty year old!" Bless. Ooh, Jenson, burrrrn! Hahaha, Tanja let him through! He must seriously butter her up outside of these grid walks because she should by rights have killed him several times over by now. At least today though it was all nice and polite instead of elbows from Martin. 13:03: And they're off! Webber gets down into fourth almost immediately. Massa's in fifth and Hamilton's gone to seventh. 13:04: Contact making yellow flags already. Hamilton's now eighth. 13:05: Interesting, Rosberg cut the corner at the beginning but they already know it's fine. 13:10: Hamilton's just passed Schumacher for seventh place and does a fastest first sector. 13:13: Ah crap. Hamilton overtakes Rosberg and is then told good job, the next car is Massa. No, Massa, take Webber first! Hamilton to Massa is 4.1 and Massa to Webber is 0.9, so there is hope... 13:18: Argh. Naturally, Lewis is creeping closer and Massa seems not to be shifting at all. Incidentally, looking to others, Barrichello is in thirteenth behind Maldonado, and di Resta is holding onto tenth. 13:21: Rosberg has pitted. Massa is falling back and Hamilton's almost on him. Seriously Felipe, FIGHT, for crying out loud. 13:22: Ooh! Webber is trying to get down the outside of Alonso and can't - but then can! So dammit, that's what was happening. Now it's Alonso, Massa and Hamilton. Ooh - damn, I was gonna say it'd be amazing for Massa to take Alonso but anyway he came into the pits, so now Massa's just gotta get a shufty on. Schumacher has also pitted. 13:24: Somebody's down the escape road...Timo Glock. He's out then. 13:25: Oh not again, fucking both Hamilton and Massa are pitting...this won't end well for Ferrari. Oh, wow, they did it! So Massa comes out ahead but now he's still got Lewis behind him. And they come out behind Alonso and Barrichello, heh. 13:26: Erk, now - WTF?! Okay, Lewis went for the overtake and they ended up meeting, not sure how, and Lewis lost his front wing. But Massa has a fucking puncture as well! Oh, cock. 13:27: Webber too has pitted. And come out behind Alonso, somehow. Barrichello pits, too. Massa's tyre is bloody shredded by the time he gets back. God damn it! And Lewis hasn't even pitted yet, the fuck? So Massa is now down in like seventeen. UGH. 13:29: Stewards are investigating that. Hamilton pits now finally. 13:30: Yellow flags out. Schumi and Koba have a bit of sparks from the kerbs instead of meeting (good idea) and Vettel pits from about forty years ahead. Button pits too. 13:31: Massa appears to be in twentieth now, fuck knows how, and Hamilton is in sixteenth. How is that fair? 13:32: Right! Drive through for Lewis. 13:34: Massa is now in nineteenth and Hamilton's in twentieth. This looks familiar. FUCK OFF, LEWIS. 13:36: Massa is up to fourteenth now after some pitstops, I think. di Resta is in third, but he hasn't pitted yet. 13:39: Massa in thirteenth. Alonso passes di Resta for third. But now Webber's on di Resta's ass. 13:41: Paul pits now. He comes out in eighth. 13:43: Massa takes Buemi. Hamilton being told that they are racing for points as there will be safety cars in this race. I'm not sure how they can be entirely certain, but, whatever... 13:44: Massa's coming up in Barrichello now, and there's an investigation for Trulli and Alguersuari, but no idea what happened then. Hamilton takes Kobayashi's fourteenth place. 13:51: Great. Massa gets a bit distracted and then Hamilton passes him. Ugh. Massa pits too. Hamilton's now behind Barrichello in eleventh. Schumacher pits from fifth, and Alonso seems to be coming in as well. Man, we're only on lap 26 of 61! 13:55: Massa is in fifteenth now behind Kobayashi. Schumacher sets a new fastest lap from ninth, and di Resta is now in fifth. And MASSA now sets a fastest lap! Bwah? 13:59: Rosberg and Perez fighting, and that looked like almost contact. Rosberg comes out ahead, then - oh shit! I was gonna say Perez and Schumacher but then some contact with the latter too and Michaeal ends up in the barrier. He climbs out okay, but there's a safety car. Webber pits. 14:02: The timing screen goes red as half the pack pits. Not even gonna bother listing all of them. McLaren were right about the safety car though. 14:04: Ooh, I wouldn't mind Hamilton repeating that puncture business right now, actually... 14:05: The medical car's going to the site of the accident? Weird. But apparently it's just come back. There's still a bit of pitting going on. 14:09: SC in this lap. It appears, once they've all shaken out, that Massa is in eleventh, Hamilton is in ninth, Barrichello's in twelth. Button still second and di Resta fifth. 14:11: Ooh! The car came in, and Webber takes Alonso! Nice, haha. 14:13: Things looking a bit hairy now as many cars line up and try to outdo each other. Hamilton's in eighth, and Massa's in tenth. The driver tracker, incidentally, is hiarious to watch. Vettel being so far ahead though is depressing. 14:17: Hamilton's trying to pass Sutil and - dammit, does. Sigh. Yeah, I'm not feeling too charitable towards Lewis today. He's now in bloody seventh. 14:18: Ooh, Kobayashi under investigation for ignoring blue flags, and fucking Hamilton gets into sixth! And he can fuck off now because di Resta bloody deserves that fifth. 14:21: Watching the driver tracker now is just annoying me because Massa isn't moving past Perez, and bloody Hamilton gets the pass on Paul. 14:23: Haha, bless DC at, "I was having a satellite delay; I'm back in the room." 14:25: Koba got a drive-through, incidentally. 14:26: Massa pits for the fourth time. 14:31: Massa is in thirteenth, eighteen seconds behind Buemi. What's the point? And Coulthard trying to say VETtel instead of VetTEL is greatly amusing because he keeps trying to miss the Ts, which isn't what Martin does at all. As Martin puts it, Vettel like kettle. Schumacher/Perez will be investigated afterwards. 14:34: Aha, now we're seeing something. Massa turns the gap to 13 seconds. Maldonado pits ahead of him too. 14:36: He's now 11.7 to Buemi in eleventh and twelth. Webber pits. 14:38: 8.9. Good boy! Webber will come out in fifth, they think. And Button pits, too. Ooooh - yes! Webber takes Hamilton, whose tyres by now are fucked. 14:39: Hamilton emerges...ninth. 14:40: Vettel comes in too. Massa's gap is 5.6. Lotus almost collect Vettel as they release, whoops. 14:41: Alonso pits too. Well, never mind Massa's gap because Buemi pits. 14:42: Hamilton takes eighth place from Perez. Ugh. 14:44: So now we're looking at Vettel, Button, Webber, Alonso, di Resta, Rosberg and Sutil. Lap 52 of 61 and yellows are out as Trulli can no longer continue. 14:45: Felipe's 2.8 behind Rubens. 14:50: 0.3 seconds now. Lotus are being investigated post-race for Trulli's release into Vettel's path. Six laps to go and Button is 9.6 behind Vettel and posting a new fastest lap. 14:53: Massa is past! If the driver tracker is anything to go by, anyway. Unfortunately now he won't be getting any further because Perez is about 14 seconds ahead. Gap to Vettel from Button is now 7.9. 14:56: 6.5 gap on lap 58. Muahahahaha. 14:58: Argh! Jenson got caught behind the Williams arguing and lost a couple of seconds, so now he's not getting anywhere. Oh, that's annoying. 15:00: Ooh, interesting...Alguersuari has crashed into the barrier on lap 60 of 61. Yellows, but will they put a safety car out? And Massa is now 0.1 to Perez - and going for it - and yes! And Vettel is right behind them as well, ooh, they could accidentally hold him up for Jenson! So Massa is now ninth, but dammit, now Vettel's on him so he has to let him past and then he's got to get back on Sutil - when Vettel passes him... 15:02: Vettel passes, so Massa is now on Sutil and double waved yellows at the incident. Ooh, come on now.... Vettel wins, dammit. But Felipe, where are you? Fireworks going off while we still have cars going round, haha. 15:05: So I'm guessing as we heard nowt else, Massa didn't manage to get eighth. But ninth works, considering he's been down in twentieth at points. Results: <table><tr><td>1. Sebastien Vettel</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>2. Jenson Button</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>3. Mark Webber</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>4. Fernando Alonso</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></td></tr> <tr><td>5. Lewis Hamilton</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>6. Paul di Resta</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>7. Nico Rosberg</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>8. Adrian Sutil</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>9. Felipe Massa</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>10. Sergio Pérez</td><td>[Sauber]</td></tr></table> Championship standings: <table><tr><td>1. </td><td>Sebastian Vettel</td><td>309</td></tr> <tr><td>2. </td><td>Jenson Button</td><td>185</td></tr> <tr><td>3. </td><td>Fernando Alonso</td><td>184</td></tr> <tr><td>4. </td><td>Mark Webber</td><td>182</td></tr> <tr><td>5. </td><td>Lewis Hamilton</td><td>168</td></tr> <tr><td>6. </td><td>Felipe Massa</td><td>84</td></tr> <tr><td>7. </td><td>Nico Rosberg</td><td>62</td></tr> <tr><td>8. </td><td>Michael Schumacher</td><td>52</td></tr> <tr><td>9. </td><td>Vitaly Petrov</td><td>34</td></tr> <tr><td>10. </td><td>Nick Heidfeld</td><td>34</td></tr></table> Ooh, Massa is angry. "I told you yesterday that he could not use his mind...again..." They are going to have a rocky friendship for a bit. "He cannot even listen, maybe his father can imagine me." What's that mean? This is the thing though, this is hardly a vendetta. It's Felipe who's twice in two days been impeded by Lewis. He's hardly making it up out of nowhere. He keeps getting his driving ruined by Lewis. Okay, that incident was on the fence of an incident or a reckless pass, but the fact is that this happens with Lewis a lot. Same with Schumacher, and it impedes other people, which is why it pisses other people off. Pic Sun, 25 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT F1: Monza, Italy [11th September 11] http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D753376&entry=10196 http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D753376&entry=10196 12:10: Very full up with vegetable soup and bread rolls. Hope this will sustain me for the next few hours. HA! I just wrote the title and accidentally wrote Monza, Ferrari. Um. Maybe warranted, but no. Grid: <table><tr><td>1. </td><td>Sebastien Vettel</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>2. </td><td>Lewis Hamilton</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>3. </td><td>Jenson Button</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>4. </td><td>Fernando Alonso</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>5. </td><td>Mark Webber</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>6. </td><td>Felipe Massa</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>7. </td><td>Vitaly Petrov</td><td>[Renault]</td></tr> <tr><td>8. </td><td>Michael Schumacher</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>9. </td><td>Nico Rosberg</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>10. </td><td>Bruno Senna</td><td>[Renault]</td></tr> <tr><td>11. </td><td>Paul di Resta</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>12. </td><td>Adrian Sutil</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>13. </td><td>Rubens Barrichello</td><td>[Williams]</td></tr> <tr><td>14. </td><td>Pastor Maldonado</td><td>[Williams]</td></tr> <tr><td>15. </td><td>Sergio Pérez</td><td>[Sauber]</td></tr> <tr><td>16. </td><td>Sebastian Buemi</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>17. </td><td>Kamui Kobayashi</td><td>[Sauber]</td></tr> <tr><td>18. </td><td>Jaime Alguersuari</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>19. </td><td>Jarno Trulli</td><td>[Lotus]</td></tr> <tr><td>20. </td><td>Heikki Kovalainen</td><td>[Lotus]</td></tr> <tr><td>21. </td><td>Timo Glock</td><td>[Virgin Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>22. </td><td>Jérôme d'Ambrosio</td><td>[Virgin Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>23. </td><td>Daniel Ricciardo</td><td>[Hispania Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>24. </td><td>Vitantonio Liuzzi</td><td>[Hispania Racing]</td></tr></table> Aww, Jake in a t-shirt is quite sweet. It looks a bit like a Red Bull one actually but then it doesn't...hmm. And now they get to be all cute and handsy together, hehe. Jake bringing up DC touching drivers so much yesterday was ADORABLE. They are playing up to the slashers and we love them for it. Hahaha. DC shouting instructions to Jake is awesome. Not entirely surprised Jake is finding this difficult, though... Harsh, Christian! Hahaha! They're looking very pink there on the grid. I swear they didn't look at all pink just before. "Are you working together with Lewis to fight Vettel's Red Bull?" "Uh...no." Heh. Unsurprising though - on the track it's every man for himself. Unless you're the head of Red Bull or Ferrari and then you assume that one of your drivers is there to be a backup for the other. Felipe! Claps. Aww, go on, let's get a chat. No? Cute pictures at least anyway. (I swear to god I do like cars and racing...but y'know, when you have some adorably cute relationships in there, it's a lovely little bonus.) 13:03: And they're off! Three side by side at the start, someone's spun - several others stopped for a second there too. No idea what there. Alonso is leading with Schumi in third and Massa in fifth ahead of Button. Safety car. Petrov, Rosberg, Ricciardo, Barrichello and Liuzzi seem to be out. Liuzzi went off sideways then took the others out. 13:05: Hamilton is now third, then Schumacher. Kobayashi is getting a new wing now. Alguersuari is now in eleventh and Kovi in twelth. 13:08: D'Ambrosio is also out, apparently. 13:10: Off they go again. The driver tracker appaears to be broken, which is annoying. Alonso and Vettel are battling for first place. Barrichello is apparently not entirely out, which is good if it's true. Massa is holding onto fifth with Webber behind him and then Button. 13:12: No! Contact with Webber and Massa! Webber loses his nose and I have no idea what happened to Massa because at the same time Vettel overtook Alonso. What's going on?! Yellow flags. 13:13: Ohh, he was trying to pass round a corner and ended up on the kerb and couldn't stop hitting the back of Massa. Argh. Webber is now in the barriers but where the fuck is Massa?! I NEED MY DRIVER TRACKER. 13:15: Well, at least Massa is still going. He's now in eighth. So yet AGAIN something happens to him and he ends up further down than he started and has to battle back up. That guy cannot catch a break. 13:18: Haha, Lewis effectively being told, "You're not slow, but Schumacher is quicker." 13:19: Yuss, Massa takes sixth from Maldonado. So finally on lap 10 back up to the position he started in...next in the attack is Button. Yellow flag. 13:21: Sutil's out and being pushed off by stewards. This isn't going well for several people today. So far we're six out of 24 cars out. That's a quarter of the starters. In a dry race! 13:23: Hamilton and Schumacher now side bt side...and Hamilton passes him. But Schumi's not giving up that easily, he's trying to get round the outside - and does so. This is for third place. 13:26: Massa being told by Rob that the McLarens are being held up by Michael. Come on then Felipe! He's a good ten seconds though behind Button still. 13:28: Schumacher, Hamilton and Button are all around each other now. Schumacher's tyres are now going and Hamilton gets shoved to the grass when trying to pass, so Button gets the middle position. And now takes it round the outside of Schumacher! I didn't see that original move but apparently Schumacher is shockingly pushing sporting boundaries...Schumi pits. 13:30: Aha, finally, driver tracker is working again. I don't use Twitter myself but it's useful to keep a look on these sort of things. Button pits too and comes out fifth behind Massa. 13:32: McLaren come out ready for Hamilton. In he comes. And out again in fifth but with - and, oh, Schumacher there. In sixth then, so they have to play that game again! 13:34: Oh. Randomly Ricciardo is not out. I swear to god he was earlier but here he is going round the track. But according to the driver tracker, Sutil (who is most definitely out and was several laps ago) is ahead of him. Schumacher now takes two moves to defend from Hamilton, which is illegal. 13:36: Massa's up in second now but he's the only one of the top six who hasn't yet pitted. Hamilton now making noises about Schumi's moving. FIA are apparently aware. 13:37: Massa pits as Hamilton is again up behind Schumacher and man, I won't be surprised if one or t'other of them ends up out today. 13:38: Turn 1 lap 1 incident with Liuzzi will be investigated after the race. WHY? Seriously, there must be a good reason for sometimes why they leave things and sometimes they don't but what the hell is it? 13:40: Hmm, Michael being told to leave room at Ascari by Ross Brawn himself. Riiight. Yellow flag because somebody is out but I'm not sure who. 13:41: The out was Kobayashi. Massa by the way is fourteen seconds off behind Hamilton and 2.9 ahead of Perez. 13:43: Heh, Michael did leave room at Ascari. Still not working for Hamilton though yet. Button does a fastest lap but Hamilton is stuck behind Schumi still. 13:44: Hahaha, "Michael, please make sure you leave room for the car when you move and change direction." VERY clear message from Ross Brawn there. 13:46: Aaaaaand finally Hamilton gets through. Pretty sure he's breathing a huge sigh of relief. 13:53: Got distracted a bit. People still driving. Massa's not really getting any closer to Schumacher and Perez is the same distance behind him. Vettel is driving off into the dull, dull distance. And doing a new fastest lap. YAWN. Can't they fit his car with explosives or something? That would make it more exciting. 13:55: Yellow flags because Perez is out. Alonso pits. 13:56: And McLaren come out too for Hamilton. 13:57: Red Bull come out for Vettel. 14:01: Schumacher pits from second and comes out in sixth behind Hamilton. Massa is in fourth but is the only one up there who hasn't pitted. 14:02: di Resta's bouncing along in eleventh. Barichello in twelth. We're missing about eight cars now. 14:07: Massa pits and comes out with a puff of tyre smoke. Hamilton does a fastest lap in fourth place. Yes, Martin! It ALWAYS seems to happen to Felipe Massa! It's not just me imagining this shit. 14:09: So after a lot of shuffling the top since is Vettel (natch), Button, Alonso, Hamilton, Schumacher and Massa. Well done Jenson! Alguersuari incidentally, having started from 18th, is now seventh. Heh. And di Resta in eighth! 14:11: The phrase 'race shoes' just makes me want to giggle. 14:17: Senna gets into ninth place. Massa is no closer to anything or anyone but what the hell, he's still running. Hamilton does another fastest lap in fourth place. 4.3 behind Alonso so probably not challenging for the podium on lap 48 of 53. 14:24: But now on the final lap Hamilton is right up the back of Alonso. Vettel crosses the line and Button gets second...and Alonso gets the podium, darn. Woof, Martin saying that's the first time a Red Bull hasn't finished in the points since Korea last season. Results: <table><tr><td>1. Sebastien Vettel</td><td>[Red Bull Racing]</td></tr> <tr><td>2. Jenson Button</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></tr> <tr><td>3. Fernando Alonso</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>4. Lewis Hamilton</td><td>[McLaren Mercedes]</td></td></tr> <tr><td>5. Michael Schumacher</td><td>[Mercedes GP]</td></tr> <tr><td>6. Felipe Massa</td><td>[Ferrari]</td></tr> <tr><td>7. Jaime Alguersuari</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr> <tr><td>8. Paul di Resta</td><td>[Force India]</td></tr> <tr><td>9. Bruno Senna</td><td>[Renault]</td></tr> <tr><td>10. Sebastian Buemi</td><td>[Toro Rosso]</td></tr></table> Championship standings: <table><tr><td>1. </td><td>Sebastian Vettel</td><td>284</td></tr> <tr><td>2. </td><td>Mark Webber</td><td>167</td></tr> <tr><td>3. </td><td>Fernando Alonso</td><td>172</td></tr> <tr><td>4. </td><td>Jenson Button</td><td>167</td></tr> <tr><td>5. </td><td>Lewis Hamilton</td><td>158</td></tr> <tr><td>6. </td><td>Felipe Massa</td><td>82</td></tr> <tr><td>7. </td><td>Nico Rosberg</td><td>56</td></tr> <tr><td>8. </td><td>Michael Schumacher</td><td>52</td></tr> <tr><td>9. </td><td>Vitaly Petrov</td><td>34</td></tr> <tr><td>10. </td><td>Nick Heidfeld</td><td>34</td></tr></table> God yeah. That finger...I want to fucking cut it off! Why are they handing him a watch? And, ugh, yet again, the line of clapping women. Oh, you brave and strong men, we can't do anything useful in this sport but fawn over you. Does NOBODY see any problem with this?! Pic Sun, 11 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT