Open Diary - Glow1234

wishing life was different

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I wish i wasn't such a fuck up, i wish i was good enough for my daughter and husband, i wish i could be the person that they need. i wish i could just be another person, i wish i was good enough, all these things i want and i'll never achieve no matter how hard i try, i'm just a fuck up of a person. i wish greg could trust me. i wish we could just be happy toogether and get along. i hate myself.

why do i feel this way. im so negative i can't change the situation or even think of how it could be changed. i try just to be open and honest , but he gets upset so often when i talk its just getting harder and harder for me, i wish he could be open-mined. , just listen to me and help me instead of being against me. im such a stupid person. im pretty happy with my life right now, the only thing i feel is lacking and the thing i care about the most is me and sids relationship, if thats not going good , its so hard for me to be happy. i don't want to be that way cuz negativeness just makes the situation worst between us. i know what i have to do , i just have to be open and honest with him , and once i do that if he gets negative over what i say i have to stay positive and be thick-skined.thats just the hardest part is just staying postive when hes negative.

i have no one

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

i will never fucking trust another person ever again, i don't a give about my parents, about , greg,gina, fuck them all, i am sitting here crying, feeling horrible, and they could be there for me , but none of them want to be, i don't want to talk or be close to them at all, maybe i'll find someone one day that can be there for me, jessica was good at it, thats why i liked talking to her. im done with people. acting like they care about me , its all bullshit.i just going to do what i need to for my daughter, and fuck everyone, they think they can fucking treat me like this well fuck them, i will fucking try to be close to greg again, fuck him, he doesn't care.im so hurt, my fucking parents treat me like shit, and then i try to call greg and he treats me like shit, fucking assholes, i don't deserve to be treated this way , i'll just do what i need to and im not even going to try to be around them anymore. i shouldn't make decsions when im this neagtive. but fuck it. whatever i ain't talking to no one ever again, fuck everyone. i wont try to hang out with anyone.

fucking mother

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I FUCKING HATE MY MOM!!!! she drives me crazy ,she won't let me fucking study.i can't even write i have to study, all she cares about is herself.

should be happy

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

i have alot going for me in my life, the one thing that gets to me is my fucking mom, jesus she can ruin my whole day, she does alot for me , shes going to be watching my daughter, she takes me places, she let me live with her for a while, but getting this money just made her different, i don't understand , i asked her what she wanted , and she wanted 2000 to borrow, then said she didn't want it, but i gave it to her anyways because she did so much for me, and after i gave her the money now shes a totally bitch, she doesn't even appriate what she got, now after i gave her the money now she wants me to move out, and talks shit to me daily, i fucking she i sisn't make her a part of my life again, it was a big mistake, i feel like i'm against hating people, her i just have so much hate for her, cuz how she disrespects me and my family, i don't want to feel that way, but it is what it is.i let her borrow 2000 dollars and then she has the nerve to tell me to move out as quick as possible.i don't even understand what shes so upset about. man i just want to get away from her, i have no respect for her. she wants my money and shes jealous she can't have it. i wish i could just cut her out my life but i can't now its to late.

going craZy

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

having wrote in a while, shit is fucked up, i can't believe destroyed my addressed book, augh, pisses me off, i hate when i don't get along with greg, its probably just cause were tired, its fucked up how he says do you need me , then oh no, then i'm leaving, asshole, next time i won't care. i don' t even want tot write , don't want to do anything