Hi! The first time I wrote something here in OpenDiary was in 1999... I think. Can you believe that? Then after a while my computer was messed up and I couldn't log in for a while and my diary was archived. About 2 or 3 years of memories gone... DELETED. Then about two years ago, something happened to the site and a lot of diaries were lost. Mine was one of them. All the new entries were gone too. Lucky me.
I got to thinking about this. My title was and has been for years Trying to forget. In a way, this whole thing has helped me do just that. FORGET. You see, everything happens for a reason. I remember writing in here about my first boyfriend, my first heartbreak... That's all gone and it's good. I wanted to forget , right? I wrote in here everything about Charlie. That's all gone too... Isn't it ironic? I wanted to forget and yet it hurts that the entries that reminded me of that past are gone forever... I wish I could read all of them today. I wish. I know I'm still struggling with a lot of the same things I did when I was 16. I've changed and yet I haven't ... but the proof of that is gone. And maybe that's a good thing. I can't read about it so with time I know most of those memories have faded and with even more time I know that the ones that are still here will fade as well...
This is me. My thoughts. My feelings. I write in here everything I can't say in real life. Everything I hide. Everything that hurts... Sounds depressing? It's not. Just reality. My reality. The only reason why I'm here is to vent. To have some sort of outlet for whatever I'm feeling before it drowns me. So there. That's all I needed to say.
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