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Mutilated Butterfly
No_Longer


Age: 22
Sex: F
Location: I'd tell you if I knew...
State: Arkansas

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Interests
Band
Band Geeks
Banned Books
Barefoot
Biting
Blink-182
Bondage
Butterfly Effect
Christian Goth
Cirque du Freak
Clarinets
Degrassi
Long Hair
Love
Love Someone?
Nirvana
Pain
Pennywise
Percussion
Performing Arts
Pervert
Piano
Piercings
Pink
Sadomasochism
Self Expression





:. In General .:

You name it, I've probably been there. My father is a dry alcoholic, my mom's bipolar, my sister's a middle-aged, immature pothead w/a kid. I'm a dry cutter, burner, biter, and beater.



I was raised a Christian, but I'm currently trying to find my own path, and therefore associate myself with no religion at the moment. I play piano and clarinet, but my biggest artistic passion at the moment is painting. I also love messing around with computer graphics and drawing. I drew the picture below completely by hand.



I worry and stress out A LOT. I am stubborn, hard-headed, and I have a tendency to say what pops into my mind, whether I am insulting someone or not. In all actuality, I try not to hurt people, and actually care a lot more about others than I may appear to. I love to smile and laugh and I love to just relax (although I have a lot of trouble doing so). I constantly try to update my diary to reflect the changes I am going through in life...and it's funny cuz I don't even favor the color pink, but, somehow, it seems to fit.

A lot of people believe that I try to "grow up too fast," but my childhood was over before it started...I'm a very emotional person and I have a knack for confusing myself and the people around me. I know who I am, but I cannot put it into words. I'm not here for arguments, brownie points, or critics...

what you see is what you get.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

^...This is me and my boyfriend, James...^


x. My Passions .x

- James. I love him more than anything. He met me at my lowest point and helped me realized that I am actually worth something. He has taught me how to love myself and open up a part of my world that I never thought I could.

- My friends. Most of my friends are guys, and they are my brothers.

- Painting has been a great experience for me. I think it is the first healthy form of stress-release I have ever had in my life.

- Chocolate.

- Rain.

- Nature.

- Animals.

- Html.

- My Cell Phone.

- Writing.

- PAYDAY is the SHIT! And I mean the actual DAY, not the stupid board game. lol.
x. People You'll Probably Read About Here.x
(In no particular order)


- James - The love of my life (mentioned above). He lives with me, we're engaged...I love him more than anything.

- Laine - James's best friend, he's like a brother to me.

- Miranda - She's freaking hyper as hell, but she's a really awesome person. I love her to death, and I've had some of the best times with her.

- James E - He's best friends with James and Laine, and another one of my brothers. He's always been there and he's always driven us everywhere. :D

- Samantha - She was my best friend off and on for years...our most recent fall out was over the same thing as the last 3 or 4...thought she changed...but turns out she's still getting drunk, still getting laid (by many different guys), and still SMOKING METH...sry that's one thing I can't stand w/people.

- Chelsea - Another bitch that was my best friend for oh...8 or so years...then she cheated on Laine, spread rumors about me, tried to ruin my relationship with James, and said a lot of things that were totally uncalled for...

316 Public Entries
Entry Date
Changes...Closing this Diary... 6/13/2008
I don't right enough 3/2/2008
Field Trip 12/1/2007
I am liberal hear me roar... 8/26/2007
Meditative Blurbs 8/25/2007
This is how I'm feeling 8/10/2007
Depressing ramblings about my awkward teenage life 8/10/2007
Disturbing Dream 8/8/2007
Horrible News 7/30/2007
Weird last few days... 7/28/2007
Okay, I lied...THIS is my last entry of the night 7/25/2007
Lost 7/25/2007
*Kicking Myself* -may be triggering to some 7/25/2007
Life Sucks 7/25/2007
Hey there Delilah James 7/25/2007
There's so much missing in my life... 7/24/2007
Well, well, well... 7/18/2007
ACT=Life- I don't think I'll have one... 6/11/2007
The Whole Argument 5/6/2007
I wanna curl up and cry... 5/2/2007
Yeah, no one reads this anyway... 4/29/2007
IT'S A BOY!!! 4/22/2007
Hello again... 4/8/2007
Who Am I? 1/13/2007
It's been a While... 1/12/2007
Mental Breakdown...again 10/2/2006
Confused 9/4/2006
Blah blah blah... 7/27/2006
Dun dun dun! 7/26/2006
Exhausted... 7/21/2006
Entries : 287 - 316 of 316

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