YO !!!

Well I thought that I would try and type something everyday about how I'm feeling and things in general.  I did a google search on "online diaries" and was given this site so it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Hmmm ... I have just read that this is a Description so I should do what it says and describe myself, here goes:

I'm a 22 year old guy who has been living in a small country town for the last two years, I moved here from the big city because my grandfather who was 90 at the time had a little bit of a turn and my grandmother who was 60 ... (yes thirty years age difference ... way the go pop) was having trouble dealing with him and I left work to help her out ... needless to say I'm still here ... my grandfather passed away shortly after my arrival but i stayed on because I didn't want to leave my grandmother alone. I'm a student studying a mixture of things, Applied Science degree with a double major in communications and Economic Development, linguistics and also interested in environmental Science  .... however ... of late, I have found a real sense of satisfaction from helping people and trying to understand where they are coming from ... and plan if not next year then sometime shortly to take up Psychology. - Well thats me at present.

Past ... I was born where I am currently residing (that will remain a mystery ;)) and lived here in the country till I was four ... moved down to Wellington to live with my mother who was trying to set herself up with a job and some security so that I wouldn't be at a disadvantage. We lived in a small place called Taita, Lower Hutt ... in a small two bedroom house on Hooper Grove (good times) ... my mother was a solo mum and worked for NZRAIL ... I loved school, had many friends ... did Karate, played sport and hung out with a lot of people after school. My mother at the time started seeing a guy who was soon to be my step father .... They had two children together two girls ... and unfortunately there was an accident that sent my stepfather into a head injury society so after months of therapy my mother couldn't hack it ... we moved to Auckland with my father so that he could get better medical care and my world as I knew it was turned upside down ... I had no friends at my new school and I was having to deal with two  young girls who are my sisters ... as well as having to deal with my father who was mentally ill and my mother who was suffering horribly from the psychological ramifications that came from the ordeal that was just mentioned ... (my step dads accident) ... hard times ... not so good.

I guess I should move things along ... but I went to many schools ... made many friends who I have unfortunately lost contact with and had many challenges in life to try and over come ... which in many ways I think I have but every now and then something reminds me of a time ... ever get that? well I do ... all the time ... and find myself either bumbing out and gutted as or praying to whoever can help me

There are so many things that I will probably bring up while writing my diary entries I might mention a few facts ... just quickly ...

I'm Bisexual, have been in relationships with both girls and guys, started really young too I had a boyfriend who was 24 when I was only 13 and ever since then I've just been trying to find myself I guess, I don't like the whol stereotype of having to either be gay or straight  cause shouldn't you look more at the person first and foremost? anyway I was with a girl for about 6 months and we got pregnant but she miscarried and I was gutted as about that ... we split shortly after and I started seeing a guy who I ended up with for 5 years and we've been trying to sort things out for a little bit but it was just really hard because he cheated on me and I just couldn't find the strength to forgive him ... I have since been in a couple of relationships with guys one that was for 6 months and another that was on and off for four so I think I try and give everything that I can to someone.

Into anything in terms of socialising and recreational activities ... Don't like butter, Allergic to peanuts but tempt death every now and then ... love garlic, don't like cheery tomatoes have truck loads of clothes but can never find anything to wear  especially when I want to go out ... clean ... tidy ... don't mind cooking, hard worker, average intelligence ... like red jelly ... and ... never eat the corner of my sandwhich ... random ha ... I'm not actually sure what else to put in here  ...  so ... I think this will do and if I think of anything else to add then I will.

PO. (peace out)