Today has been a very blah day. I have been so tired, no energy. I had both Tuesday and today off work, paid vacation and Canada Day. Monday night I stayed up til 5:30am with LOML and got up again at 10:30am, did housework, my daughter freaked out again, we got into it bad, I told her I had enough and was making an appt with the doctor for her when I went there for my appt. She needs to speak with someone about her mood swings and anger, she agreed so I made an appt for her next Wednesday.

I went to the doctor because he needed to fill out a medical form because I have missed alot of time the past 3 years since I've been there. My doctor supported all my absent days. I have chronic pelvic pain. I have been hospitalized twice with pelvic abscess, was in the hospital for a month both times and had a drainage tube draining infected fluids from my abdomon for 3 months after. I'm prone to pelvic infections and just severe cramping at any given time. I get nautious and can't eat. I get very fatigued and lathargic. I slept 10 hours last night and still had a 2 hour nap and I'm ready for bed again. My family doctor says I need to have a hysterectomy but my gyno doesn't want to do it, he feels my problem can be controlled by other ways, like taking the pill, well the pill makes it worse so I stopped taking it, he got pissed when I told him but I don't care, being on the pill makes the pain worse and makes me bleed all the freakin time (men run away and cowars) don't worry  won't go into detail, but I'm sure women know what I'm talking about. I just want the pain to go away. I usually don't mention it if its tolerable but this month has been bad, and I've been a little sad and pissy and just blah and having the fight with my daughter just stressed me out, I started crying and told LOML that I just cant take it anymore, I felt like I was having a breakdown, wish he was here so I could cry on his shoulder and have him hold me, I really need that. I don't even know what's happening with him and I, we had a long talk about us and I just don't know, guess time will tell, I feel so blah,, Im gonna stop writing, Im getting depressed and I don't like to be that way, I'm normally happy go lucky, just wish you can turn the ears back one notch and clear things up, as Linus from Peanuts would say, :P

peace <3