nv is crying every night

nv is depressing, full of memories i've tried very hard to forget

my father's house is all the childhood memories i never wanted to deal with. . .

it's my brother's drug phase

never thinkuing i'd see him again

it's a divorce

it's adam hating his life, and being the one he talked to

it's a father who i have little to no memories of

it's him treating my brother as if he were lower than dirt

it's all the reasons i wish i had never been born. . . without me adam's life would've turned out better. . .

it's the one place i want to block out of my memory until the end of time. . .

it's never been abd never will be remotely anything like home

sorry, was set off by an e-mail from my father who has a girlfriend, who after further looking into is the mother of a friend of my brother's. . . one of the worst influences ever on his life. the only one of his friends i ever did not feel right around, someone i got a very bad feeling from being in's company. . . bleh, im fine, really i am

~becka