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i am/was hardly saying goodbye. If i truly thought i couldn't trust you at all i wouldn't threshing it out on a diary that i would like to try and keep. I'd send an email or a letter of little consequence. The hand is much better by the way. Its barely sore at all and has really survived well. My happiness will evolve, but right now it hasn't in any definative way. What i was getting at is that there are things that would make me happy, and then there are goals and things that could make my life happier. Life happiness versus everday happiness. I think that's where you were going with your original question or at least your question was to do with life happiness i thought. (I'd be happy if i could travel right now) My point which was probably badly stated was that i don't really feel like i want to tell you everything that I think would make my life happier right now. There are things that should be private. Its true though that i don't really feel that directly connected to you anymore or at least in a way that we were, that takes more time and effort than we probably have right now to spare. We are good friends, but then we do only see each other once a year, so how personal can it be? I think that's fairly well stated now, so take it how you will, i'm sure you'll comment on it. it's always nice to know that i'm a large part of someone's life and to be complimented like that, but my comment wasn't really directed at you specifically. I apreciate that you said you like to have me in your life, lol, your continuing to talk to me is sort of my reassurance of that and vice versa, but like i said i didn't really mean you specifically. I really meant generally in my social life. I don't really belong to a social group and everyonce in a while i freely admit that i feel lonely. I also admit to being petty at times, that doesn't connect but, "its okay, i'm a limmo driver!" You didn't really need to be there, Joe had books by and on Hunter S. Thompson and Tom Wolfe. You now know his good taste. Though i guess there was more to the night than that really. I heard there was a lack of strawberries. i added my diary back to the favorites list. I took it off recently while i overhauled it (a little). You're not missing anything anyways. My creative attention span is extremely short and i can usually only manage one or two decent lines followed by crap as justification. i hope that covers every thing.
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