Things have been fucked up lately to say the very least. Jacs and Max broke up, which has caused a lot of drama. I am proud of her and i know it took a lot of courage for her to let him go. Things are better now, and this whole situation just makes me realize how me and Max were never really friends at all.

I met this kid Danny, first semester. I think I have written about him in here before. When I first met him, I was just starting to date Jorge so things never really developed. I bumped into him in the mail room the other day and we ended up just having some small talk. Then I ended up going to a kegger, which was for the swim team, and he was obviously there. I ended up going back to his apt. that night and hooking up with him. He called me after that and I never picked up, cause i love boy, and it just didn't feel anywhere close to right. I haven't seen him since and I am a little nervous to, I'm sure it will be really awkward.

On to other fucked up things, I ended up meeting this kid from Long Island the other night. We ended up having a lot in common and he came back to my place, where we eventually hooked up. He came back over last night and I ended up sleeping with him. This morning I felt extremely guilty and shitty and I cired, but I feel better now. What is done is done. It doesn't mean I don't love boy, my feelings would never change, but some times its just hard being away and I feel lonely.

Things with  boy have actually been going really well. For two weeks straight we have talked multiple times a day. He told me the other night he was whipped and he has been saying the cutest things. At least once a day he tells me he misses me and he actually might be coming here in 2 weeks. I really want him to come, I miss him so much and I just want to havve a perfect kiss with my perfect guy. It's his birthday this week, so I sent him a card and made him two cds. I hope he likes it.

I only have 4 weeks of school left which is beyond weird. At first, all I wanted to do was go home. Even after xmas break I just couldn't wait for the next time I could be home. Over time, Tampa has become a second home with me. I feel as if I have a second family here and I love all my friends to death. We have developed such kich ass relationships, and living with eachother just expands the closeness. I love them with all my heart and I am going to miss them more then words. I am looking forward to the summer tho, with boy and of course my Amare and my boys. Things will be fun, but I definatley will miss my life here. I will miss Mad Dogs, and working with Jaclyn and making awesome money and smoking blunts with the cooks. I'll miss McKay and waking up every morning surrounded by my best friends. I'm going to miss the beauitful beaches and going to parties all the time meeting new people every day. I'm going to miss everything, I can't believe its almost all over.

One more fucked up thing this week, besides the Zanny bars we've been constantly taking, I tried coke for my first time. I always said I wouldn't, but I just really wanted to try it once. Would I do it again? Maybe, I'm not going to lie to myself but I know I have enough self control not to over do it. It was fun, nothing great, and now I know what i wasn't missing all along. It's all part of growing up and experiencing new things, I dont' regret it all.

Well I'm out, I'm chillen with Jacs and Adrian. Life is definatley having its ups and downs right now.