|Invisible Wounds Still Scar|
And i'll say it again. I need to lose weight. A whole lot of it. And I think Thursday night might have been the motivation I needed. The guys at school only pay attention to me because out of the 5 years of classes (15 in each class or so) there are four women. Two are lesbians. Im not sure about the other one's story. And that leaves me. I'm like the dirty, flirty little harmless secret that their wives and girlfriends will never know about. Which is fine for me in a way, because I love the attention. In another way, school is obviously two nights a week. So that's only two nights of affection a week.
But there's plenty of bad that comes out of this. I spend $40-$80 a week on booze at the bar. I flipped my Jeep Liberty over back in January. I drive like an old lady now because of it, but I still haven't stopped drinking after school. I had, in fact, went out after the very next class after my accident. Please, don't judge me. I know it's stupid.
I haven't consumed anything besides ice water since Thursday at 5:00. Yes yes, i know that isn't a good thing. And there were plenty of times yesterday that I actually thought about food (and this morning). But when I actually thought about how i was feeling the feeling wasn't hunger it was boredom or habit.
So I had a glass of ice water instead and then was fine. And this morning, I did some crunches, lunges, and weight exercises and now here I am. Fine. Not hungry.
Local 7 participated in a St. Paddy's day marathon in Springfield last month. One of the guys in my class, Bill, participated. If you saw Bill one of the last things you would think is 'runner'. But he started training for it a month before hand and he ended up losing about 20 pounds. He was never a bad looking guy, but 20 pounds lighter would look good on almost everyone.
So I was talking to him one night and I said, "I think if i put my mind to it, I could knock 20 pounds off before school is over." He looked at me and said, "yeah, of course you could." "I won't though..." and i looked at my desk. "Why not?" "because Im lazy. Purely lazy. I talk a good game when it comes to losing weight and then I never go through with any of it." "Keep your mind to it then..."
I think our last day of school is May 21st. And the graduation for the 5th years is the following weekend. I wasn't going to go because you're supposed to dress up and that is obviously not my thing... It would, however, be interesting to go a few pounds lighter and see Colin and Steve's wives. *chuckles to self*
Right now, im going to throw some jeans on and go and help my dad with yard work I guess. I totally don't feel like it, but he always helps me with so much. He'd be really disappointed and upset if I didn't. Plus im just sitting around playing COD anyways. And that means I will probably end up eating out of boredom. Gotta keep the boredom away!
Wish me luck again guys...