The insides are still making me insane. I yelled at Richie today and I almost cried at Kasey. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me this month. It was uber early, too. Since I've been on the pill [almost 4 years now,] I've gotten my period on Weds or Thurs of my placebo week, however last month I got it Monday and this month I fuckin' woke up with it Sunday. Fuckerrrrr. I suppose it's just stress. Fuck stress.
I don't know if I ever told you all but I got a tattoo of a hippo. It's fucking sick and I love it. Kasey and I got them. Here's the inspiration for them
And here's ours
Dad got mad at me today because instead of doing laundry yestarday, I cleaned the kitchen, helped with the god damned flea patrol, bathed the dog, made food for the brats we're watching 4 days a week, cleaned up after the brats, made mom lunch for tomorrow, helped mom make his stupid stuffed mushrooms, went with Kasey to get another key made for her car and a million other things. He didn't mention that I did any of this, there was no hey Sam, thanks for all you did, it was just you didn't do any fucking landry, it's not like I asked you to fucking do it by hand in the sink. I hate that shit. Those conversations are the ones that DO make me stop doing ANYTHING. After a few of them I get so few up that I really do do nothing. The kicker is that I'm just more miserable because not only am I bored, but no one else will do anything and I wind up living in a mess. Ugh.
I'm thinking about going to school again. I would like to go to school for cosmetology. I've been thinking about it for a while, but I just don't want more debt dammit, haha. I told my dad a few months ago I was thinking about it and he said "why the fuck would you want to do that?" I know that he has this dream of me going on to do what no one in our family has done [go to college,] and being a successful ceo or some shit like that. What he doesn't understand is that I don't want to do that. He doesn't understand the concept at all. Every time I talk about what I want to do or what I am doing to get ahead, he just has to bring up "Wellllll.... if you'd gone to REAL college..." What? I'd still be there. I'd still be wasting my time and money. Whatever.
I guess I'm going to go work on my blanket some more.
I love you all.