In all of the best ways.


My boss called me into his office today. He had me shut the door. He formally told me about the job position they're opening, within the next week or two. It's the same old, the administrative associate/specialist and maintenance dispatcher. He was more diplomatic and professional about it than Biff's begging and solid info (I will hire you, it's $24k/yr, etc), but it's "real" now, basically. Like, I'm short-listed already. It has to be posted for 5 days but yeah.

Bleh.

I hate to leave Biff. I really do. I LOVE working for him. I'll miss him. He's almost worth the creepers. But. Wings, spread, fly, etc.

When I got back to the electric shop, I made me a list. This is what I'm looking at so far, in stark black and white.

Option 1: Panama City
Residence: with parents.
Employment: whatever I can find locally (retail, tourism)
Timeline: late July
Pros: No rent; lots of beach time; back around friends and family; excellent sunshine
Cons: No adult progression whatsoever; still broke; living in a cluttered room with the cat; sharing bathroom with Joey; crate-and-rotate situation with the dogs; this is pretty much a terrible decision both professionally and mentally

Option 2: Athens
Residence: IF the management lets me work something out.
Employment: IF they decide to hire me for the new administrative/dispatcher position
Timeline: now
Pros: Significantly more pay; can save money and make loan payments; full benefits; don’t have to move; close to Atlanta for Uproar and Nightwish; free classes (with limitations)
Cons: Still stuck at UGA; no beach; zero career progression; no social life to speak of

Option 3: Tallahassee
Residence: unknown
Employment: unknown
Timeline: July?
Pros: Football; friends; Florida; beaches; free classes if employed at FSU
Cons: It’s not good for me; all the unknowns

Option 4a: DC
Residence: Hope
Employment: unknown
Timeline: Late August
Pros: DC!; can have Sheppy; $800/mo; independent of Kacy’s decision; FSU alumni association!
Cons: don’t know about Lena; not with Kacy; unknown employment; unknown roommates; no money saved up for rent

Option 4b: DC
Residence: Kacy
Employment: unknown
Timeline: Late July
Pros: DC!; can have Sheppy; no rent expected immediately; with Kacy; NoVa; FSU alumni association!
Cons: very likely no Lena

Option 5: Afgha--I can't even finish typing this, it's so laughable.

Something sucks about all of them, to be fair. But it's also easy to see which ones stick out.

Athens is the "safe" choice. It's the easy choice. And it's the stagnant choice. DC isn't just the new and seductive and vibrant choice. It's the choice with hope. And I'm not talking about Aaron's figurative big sister.

I've been praying for discernment, that doors will close and funnel me into the right decision. There have been a few things of note over the last 24 hours or so.

1- I need that increased UGA pay to kick in by August so I can pay those freaking student loans. Both Michael and Kristen scoffed at any idea of UGA moving that quickly. Michael is in the same department, under the same boss, and had a similar deadline of November for insurance purposes. He got cleared in January. I can remember Gary's hiring, too; that took forever as well.

2- My mom is very critical on my last Facebook photos. They're not even that serious. It's just of the latest adventure in dying my hair with Kool Aid. Messy, but harmless. Do I really want to live with that? I finally have a life routine/frequency that I'm loving, and living with parents will put a serious damper on things. That's not even including any boyfriend complications.

3- It's a minor thing, but Aaron votes DC. Emphatically.


So maybe things are starting to come together. Still waiting for Kacy's email.


Two songs of the last two months:






I am such a sucker for strings. Surprise, it's not Halestorm!

I kind of can't wait to see where I'll be by the end of 2012. This year has been so epic and it's barely to the halfway point. It's like waking up out of a coma. Blinding, overwhelming and slightly terrifying, and I'm tired all the time, but it's so awesome.


Completely unrelated, I can't decide if I'm amused or annoyed that people keep questioning me on whether or not Aaron is okay with [stuff]. Um, if he wasn't, would I be in a relationship with him? If dying my hair with Kool Aid when he won't even see me for another four months was such a big deal, would I even care/be trying? Come on, give me some credit, people. Who do you think I would date? Who do you think would put up with me? AN ENABLER. He wants to make out in a hurricane. This was his idea, not mine. He does not care WHAT I do or even who I flirt with, as long as there's a good story, I profit somehow (like flirting for booze) and can preferably share, and he still gets me at the end of the day. Boyfriend, not parent, people.


I'm dreading this talk with my mom. I should give her some credit, but I'm just wary after all the critiquing lately. And oversensitive. Admittedly. I'm not used to discussing the gory details and the whys of my actions. I can yelp "God said to" 'til the cows come home, but in a soul-picking talk, that only goes so far. Pretty far, true, but still. ...I'm going to squeak. I can only pray that I don't blush. She is nooooot going to find out the details of how we met. I don't think she even knows I know how to kiss.

She also keeps saying that she doesn't want to know everything I do. So there.


More completely unrelated, at small group tonight we went over Andy Stanley's Christian series. The first two parts. Part two is my favorite, with Anne Rice. It resonated a little deeper tonight. Maybe I really did "quit" like she did.


I'm tired. I'm finishing my orange juice and going to bed early.