Christmas has been a trying experience this year. One that has helped me grow emotionally. I didn't feel the need to ask for much, all I wanted was my family and Ben. Well I got both and even then some, because now I feel somewhat apart of his family. I felt the love this year and I didn't need to find it through gifts or presents. I also found a bigger part of me recently, understanding and foregiveness. While I can not say the whole Christmas time was happy, I learned from the bad. One night in particular I'll always remember, the night I believe that saved Ben and I's relationship. December 26th, I knew what emotion was and finally I trully said what was in my heart. Even though we endured yelling over the phone for over an hour, the 2 1/2 hours in the freezing car made up for it. And if I could go back and change our past I know that this night is something that has changed us for good. I've realized how much more everyday I love him and how much more of the future I do not know. But now I am not scared, because I know that I have my angel at my side and nothing will ever change that. I know he knows that I would cross the Alps or swim the Nile River just to be with him, because without him I have lost a part of me. When we are together we light up the room like sunshine. I feel like the sun is smiling at me when I am with him. He is my best friend, my guidance, the light at the end of the tunnel, my love, my comedian, my angel, the dryer of tears....he is my everything. And everyday he is my teacher because I'm always learning something new about myself, not to mention us. I have grown so much because of him, in the last 4 years I have grown from a child to an adult. I am so proud of him so much more than words can explain. Everyday I grow, because everyday he finds a bigger place in my heart.
With Love, Kristen