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the past few days have been trying. i was fine fine fine, hadn't thought about him in weeks really, and then all he had to do was IM me and say hey and that was over. since the conversation i just have been thinking about him all over again, it brought me right back to the beginning. i even cried today, like what? i'm hoping it's hormones haha or something because it's just ridiculous. and i was sleeping with an ex for a while, and it took my mind off it but i don't care for him in the least. that sounds awful, but it was an equal using each other deal. i only answered my phone when he called if i was drunk. and then i was sort of gonna start something with this other person who will remain nameless, but we haven't talked in a few days and who knows. i'm pretty sure he's still stuck on his ex also, who's a friend of mine, and so that most likely would go nowhere. but either way, it just doesn't feel right or the same. i mean, i guess it's not gonna unless him and i get back together or i actually fall in love with somebody else. i just miss not ever being in a bad mood, and always having him there, and our ridiculous nights of going out and getting drunk and watching TV until 5am. and i miss waking up with somebody and that sounds so cliche but i do. and cute things, of course, when my cat scratched my forehead and i was bitching about it and so he kissed it. or out of nowhere, this one time he was home for the weekend, he just grabbed my face and kissed my cheek. and i feel like things that are so strong don't go away. and that is our problem as well as his problem with his stupid fucking ex who i would kill if i'd get away with it. it's just annoying and makes me sad and i'd rather not feel this way. i just wanna be back together, and it's all because he had to say 'hey.' how ridiculoussssss.
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