| Running to Stand Still. |
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It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring…and so the nursery rhyme goes.
It’s a bit disturbing how he bumped his head on the back of the bed and didn’t wake up in the morning, that worries me since I knocked my head on the car door this morning, when I stood up on the ledge to get in the 4WD. I may not wake up tomorrow.
And how did he bump his head hard enough to not wake up? Was he in bed alone? Or was he with somebody? Can you see where I’m going with this?
*EDIT* I stand corrected, sort of, according to google he went to bed, and THEN he bumped his head...but still, how did he do it?
Anyway.
I’m so down at the moment about my skin. It is so red and itchy and sore at the same time. And it feels hot all the time so when I’m at work in the air con I actually get chills. I can’t wear short sleeves to work because it is so obvious and I feel so self conscious when I go out in public wearing a singlet. I haven’t been able to get a tan this summer, well I did but wherever the eczema is has just stayed red and flaky. I have it all up my sides as well so bikinis have definitely been out of the question.
Clint and I made a makeshift bandage for each arm last night and wrapped around my elbows so I couldn’t scratch in my sleep. I burst into tears at the sight of them. Why should I have to sleep like that? The itch still kept me awake all night and when I took the bandages off this morning my arms were dry and flaky and when I straightened my arms it felt like the skin was about to tear.
I have 2 more days until my appointment which I have waited 4 months for. Well 23 years and 4 months. I just can’t bear the thought of the dermatologist sending me away with yet another prescription for another cream that I have probably already tried. I need tests done, I need skin samples taken, blood, anything. I need to know what is causing it.
I can’t imagine it being dietary, I have been on diets and cut all sorts of things out. It couldn’t be my cat, I have only had him for 2 years. It can’t be Clint – as my mum kindly suggested. He was away for 7 months last year and I still had it. And when he was in Iraq in 2005. It can’t be what I use in the shower, I only use lotions and washes made for eczema sufferers. I just don’t know. I am making this entry public just in case anybody has any positive experiences or remedies that work!!
I went to the gym last night, in only did 30 minutes which I felt really bad about. I just couldn’t be bothered so I went and bought some new tops for work. Clint picked me up afterwards and I pretended to be puffed. Ha.
I watched So You Think You Can Dance…it makes me insanely jealous watching that. I wish I had never EVER given up my dancing. I said to Clint there is no better feeling that dancing to a choreographed piece that you have put so much time and effort in to learning. I admire choreographers.
Clint was like ‘I’ve never seen you dance you keep talking about it, lets see!’ – so I put my Rock Eisteddfod video on. Ha ha. Even though it is nearly 7 years old and you only see me for about 2 seconds he got to see me dancing.
Can’t believe it’s only 1pm, today is dragging on forever.
Ooh pancakes for dessert tonight
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