how ever cliched, common this is....
it's been so fast, so fast. i lay in bed for over an hour, thinking how weird, where did all that time go? it seems just too queer, that ny days are gonna be over so soon. it had always been something so stable, always there, even dreaded at times.
but now i see, how, how it's been so precious. when i read "we prob wont see each other after graduating", my heart sank, knowing how true it was. it's a bigbigbig ouch. it's so much worse den all the times we changed classes, lifeskills camp ended, busking ended. because the parting's gonna be so real.
because after all that talk the whole year true, it's been just talk. something we all dreaded, but it suddenly seemed SO REAL last night.
it's so hard, so hard to have to say, goodbye. till we meet again, in heaven? it's so sad.
that's why classmates felt not enough.
is that gonna be byebye. somehow even the autograph book seems so empty too...at the end of it. mebbe it's partially the whole rush thing.
we all shared the love for ny, the love for gep, the love for fifteen. and it's all gonna end? worse den sec two ever felt. worse worse n far worse, because of so much uncertainty. the fun in making new friends, doing new things, yes, admitted. but gone is the security. the routine. the people i've grown sosososo familiar, people who are sup to be the best friends you have.
knowing n feeling, and going thru it, is so wholly different.
have changed, changed so much. have been thru so much in itself. enriching, fun, laughy days.
and her. haha. her who i obsessed over. it seems hardest to leave her. because it's realli, leaving for good. classmates no more. classmates no more.
living out the year, growing so attached, so intricately linked, has made it so hard, so hard so hard so hard.
annoyed the o's are there to bother, but glad, glad that the o's drag things out.
it'll never be the same after tomorrow. is that bad?
it hurts, in such a painful painful way. knowing how common it is, doesnt bother me. not now.
it's so sad.