got so many thoughts floating about in my head.. dun wanna think.. just wanna
but it doesnt solve the prob.. ecapism is just temporal.
many things have happened. too fast. i cant seem to settle my feelings forever. *sigh
work has been draining. or maybe draining is not the word. whatever it is, i dread going to work sometimes. i love the kids a lot, the prob is with colleagues. i really dun understand why sometimes they do such things. morning sensory activity is wow. wonderful. leave the three special needs tchers outside with ALL the kids runnin about like nobody's business. when like two special kids really need that one to one attention. and like that wasn't enough, today you can just sit there doing your own work when your kids are runnin and screamin. and i dunno where all the other tchers went also. great disaster. and it's such a joke that i have to help with art for the normal kids and leave my three special needs kids with my poor colleague. one to three is madness. hello where are the downstairs tchers? then i saw you sitting there doing your work which you're not supposed to be doing during your working hours, i suppose. argh this is so crap.. it's not that i dun like what i'm doing, i just feel ridiculous. can you all just realise that our special kids need that special attention.. why do you think they employ three tchers to look after four/five kids (depending on the day).. i dun even know why i seem to be more concerned about your kids than you do. and it's just such a pretence when the parents come you become so nice to the kid. bahhhhh. did i even hear wrongly when you said they asked you to stay? i think we cant wait for you to go.. oh whatever. i think i should just stop thinkin about work.. bleah.
going in and out of hospital. seeing the fragility of life. so many people in suffering each day. even the drug addict who was suffering from withdrawal symptoms..
having to nag at my lil cousins, bugging them to study, do homework.. getting more worried for their studies than they are..
everything just seems to come crashin down..
cant seem to sort out my thoughts in words for now.. so bye.