once again, been a long time..no need to catch up, let's make this quick...


so jason is driving me insane. 
this boy needs to make up his mind, plus he's starting to fuck with me. Yesterday he gave me this whole sphiel on how he wants a relationship, and he's such a relationship kind of guy and then proceeded to be all flirtatious with me and touchy feely. I don't know how to take that, but I don't really care because I'm really interested in seeing where this whole Mo thing is going, and I don't want Jason fucking that up for me. I hate that Jason makes me second guess his intentions, i hate that so much about a guy. But I always fall for it and I don't want to anymore. I don't want the up and down of him anymore, at all. I'm growing to hate it. I hate the mixed messages that I get. I was told, flat out that Jason doesn't like me, and the next day he told me he got jealous when I even mentioned another guy. That doesn't say I don't like you like that, at least to me it doesn't. Now with this whole Mo thing in the picture, he's even worse. Is it that realizing i'm moving on makes him want me back? I'm not going to just be his safety. Whenever he feels like he needs someone, he goes to me and when he feels fullfilled he's done with me again. I don't do that shit. Find someone else. I dunno, I get the impression that Jason mistakes a comfortable friendship for something more. Or maybe that's just what he wants a relationship to be like. This boy needs to decide what the hell he wants, and stick the hell to it! And me, I need to do a better job of setting clear lines between us. No more of that random hand holding crap. I need to say no just as much as he does.

I hope this thing with mo works out...