I am ashamed. I should title this diary "My Musings of Men" because for the past 5 years that I've had it, most of my entries have been about the men in my life. "I like this boy," or "he did this to me," or "i had the best date..." My life is really honestly not just about men, I promise. But all this diary has ever heard about is the male gender. (With a few exceptions here and there, my favorite being my story excerpts.)
Um, so that being said, you'll never guess what I'm about to talk about.... Heheh.
First off, anyone I've mentioned in the past few entries was a douche. I think I needed to meet some really awful guys in order to move on and realize what it is I shouldn't be looking for. It was not fun to experience the games guys can play with you, and the myriad of emotions involved, but I have come to my senses, learned my lessons, and can move on.
I just moved into a new apartment, which was both exciting and difficult. I loooooved living with Lauren, with all of her quirks, her respect, her insight, and our mutual anal-retentive-cleanliness. But the actual living environment just had become so stifling that I didn't feel room to grow or even be myself anymore. (I had no windows in my bedroom, it was like living in a cave, and everything everywhere was beige beige blech.) My new apartment is bright, sunny, vibrantly painted (I painted my bedroom orange!) and full of people and life. I've met/made more friends this past week than the whole past school year!
- Remember how I like to complain about being lonely and not getting out much and feeling out of place? Not so much anymore! -
One of the best people I've met is a friend of Katie's, Katie being one of my new roommates. She decided she would introduce me to him because she knew we'd be perfect for each other, and MAN was she right! Besides being extremely cute, he is an english major, loves to read, is one of the nicest, most considerate guys I've met, and is also really fun to hang out with. Not to mention, there are no games. He has told me a number of times that he likes me and suddenly I'm not the one doing all the work. (I hated that with Britton, then Paul, and then Kit, and it is soooooooooooooo refreshing to meet a guy who isn't afraid to give me a little attention back.) Plus, I can see the excellent potential of him just being a really great friend, too. I don't feel pressure to be anyone but myself. I am looking forward to getting to know him and just seeing what happens.
I feel so different! I've been so social, but responsible, and I feel like I'm really growing up. My life is full of so much potential, and I am just overall really happy. There is so much to look forward to and I think this summer is going to be great. I can't wait!
I want to redeem myself a little, to prove that I can think about more than just boys, so here are some of my fave non-boy entries.
One of the best things I’ve ever written, aside from the neat “rain” thinger on my home page: