What does it mean to be alone?
Does it mean to be single, without a "love of ones life"?
Or does it mean to be lonely, to have no one to share things with?
Or does it mean to be the new kid?
Or to have no friends?
Or to be a survivor?
Does being alone mean you have no connection to the world, to others, to yourself?
I would that any of these were true than to be in the state of aloness that I find myself currently residing.
I am the alone that has a good family
A loving "love"
but all the ties that hold me to others have been severed
either by a late realization of truth, distance, or mere non-communication.
I am trapped inside my mind, my body, my "life".
And to be trapped in something beautiful is a blessing
but I live in a curse.
I hold no talents to draw others in
no beauty to hook a wandering eye
no wit or charm or grace to capture the attention of anyone
I hold no itellengence rivaling those around me
No phsyic, no creativity
And to know that in a year I can be free would be a comfort were the above not true.
I would have means to flee
Means to run and fly and leave this world of disconnected webs
But I lack it, and therefore will be stuck and trampled on by those "higher" than myself.
I would rather have no contact with any living thing for the rest of my life than continue to be a prisoner in my own body
I would rather live in a world of nothing than continue on in mine.