i dont use words like love, cause words dont matter, well dont look so offended, you oughta be flattered.

alexa would love too see me quoting ani de franco like that.

  listening to incubus, being reminded of my friends that have left. being reminded that preconceptions are only amusing after the fact, much like misconceptions, only less serious. i have a computer now, which is good. i feel now like i have truly made this appartment mine. i guess because now i have a way to listen to music in my room. i bought a car today. my parents helped me out with the cost, but i have to pay them back. cool. took ben to my special place yesterday after the midnight movie. we were out in the woods by the river, past the old traintracks, and we wanted so badly to fuck, but we obviously didnt. if we had i wouldnt be writing this diary entry, id be mopping myself up off the floor. no, we just did that stupid stare thing in the dark until he had to drive home. i dont feel like sleeping tonight. my father was with us all day. i had to exercise all my self control not to rip his throat out and run around with his head on a spike. vlad would be so proud of me(im sure there are only a few people who know about that "saint " who are chuckling right now. if youre one of them, good for you.) so dad gets creepier by the day. im not that mad, its just a painful inconvenience to be near him. honestly he doesnt have the right to have an emotion anywhere within thirty miles of me. he better be proud. i love you all. sleep well (despite the knowlege that in three days i will be a liscenced driver:)