PrincessShaun - another one bites the dust... help me

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Diamonds on the Inside
by PrincessShaun

Age: 32 Sex : F

<< : so cute!

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another one bites the dust... help me

10/21/2006

it's been a while...

things have been going good. Work is busy but good.

I've been seeing Evan a few times a week. I hung out with him Wed, Thurs, and Fri. Stayed at his place last night BUT we "talked" in the car this morning... which was followed by me bawling my eyes out to Dani. It wasn't a bad conversation per say. I guess I just feel like I've somehow gotten myself into another quasi relationship with someone who doesn't want a committment.... and I don't think he does right now... but here's the thing, I said maybe we should stop hanging out, because I really like him and I don't want to get hurt, and he said "no, that defeats the purpose" I asked the purpose of what and he pretty much said "I don't know, I can't put it into words". He's not dating anyone else, nor does he want to, and said he won't hurt me... funny cause I still feel a little hurt.

He wouldn't let me get out of his truck and just sat there staring at me. Then when I grabbed the handle he grabbed my arm and said "wait" and wrapped both his arms around me so tight and for so long and I just burried my head in his shoulder for a couple minutes. At that point I had to get out of the truck in a hurry because I could feel the tears welling up inside... as I walked inside he rolled down the window of the truck and told me to have a good day and that he'd talk to me later... I turned around, and I know I looked sad, then he just sat there for a minute after I went in the house.

I mean it's good we finally talked about stuff but I don't know where that leaves anything. I get the impression he just wants to take things super slow... which is okay, but I just don't want to continue hanging out with him all the time and getting my heart broken if in the end he decides he doesn't want a committment.

Somehow I feel like I'm just not a date-worthy person. It's really hard not to feel like a giant idiot. I told Evan I felt stupid and he got pretty upset. He doesn't get why I feel like that I guess. I tried to explain, that I keep getting myself in this situation then I get hurt, this is when he told me he will not hurt me... that he's not like those other guys... And to be honest, he's always treated me great, he makes time for me, and is super sweet.

Dani thinks I should ignore him for a while. She thinks he'll realize and start to miss me... I guess part of the reason I'm afraid to do that is because... well, what if he doesn't? I know then he's not worth it, but for some fucked up reason I've really fallen for this guy and I know he already has the power to break my heart. THIS SUCKS

So what do I do? I believe him when he says he's not seeing anyone else, he's with me all the time... and when we're out he's got his arm around me and pays attention to me...

so what do I do now??? I need some help

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know what gurl?u should tell him what u feel and what u want...no more hiding after ur fingertips...get it?i think he likes u,but he`s not convinged abt this..gl! hope u`ll write back and tell how it was...kissz! [Roxana]

10/21/2006 4:50:50 PM

can i offer a male perspective. When I was 20/21/22 I was Evan lol. At that age most males, me included, have absolutely no idea how to progress a relationship. We like girls, ehjoy their company, but do not know what a committment actually means!! He is not being malicious or selfish, but probably has no understanding how, when or why to progress things. And remember women think things thru a lot [aussie_powers]

10/21/2006 7:04:38 PM

than guys. So my advice is to be decisive and take the lead. I don't think he is being malcious or selfish. Seems like a nice guy. Therefor in leading you will be helping him to the outcome he doessn't know how to get to. Or if he is not interesed you will save yourself much heartache. Hope this was useful. Cheers [aussie_powers]

10/21/2006 7:10:18 PM

so did he say he wants to take things slow or that he doesn't want a relationship? did he say for sure that he isn't dating anyone else? does he just want more time? [parisblues911]

10/21/2006 8:21:31 PM

I have no idea what you should do but I'm sorry. :( Hang in there hun. It'll all fall into place. [Estrella 703]

10/21/2006 10:40:05 PM

I have no idea what I would do in your shoes. I guess that all depends on what was said in this conversation you had. I couldn't really get a sense of what you two talked about from your entry. I hope that whatever you decide to do, works out for the best though!! :) [P Cheeks]

10/22/2006 4:16:26 AM

Wow, I don't know what I would do either. Maybe just stop investing so much time and energy into him if he isn't willing to give in return... Who knows? [mariposa99]

10/22/2006 1:46:26 PM

I think that if he is just unsure and wanting to take things slow, you should continue seeing him, but pull back, and maybe see other people too...

But if he says he is absolutely not interested in a relationship right now, you need to walk. [StillWaiting]

10/23/2006 9:40:54 AM

Shaun! I know it's been a long time, but I think I'm ready to rejoin the OD community finally.

About your situation, honestly, this would really make me nervous. I mean, you know going into this that what you want is a real relationship, no more of this "quasi" stuff. Be careful. If he's not ready, then let him go before it gets too serious. Maybe you need to be really honest and upfront over what you want and don't want and see what he says to that.

Good luck!

~Kristen [FastCars&Freedom]

10/24/2006 11:30:47 PM

*hugs* [blondie_42]

10/26/2006 7:22:30 PM

I think Dani is right in this, you really should kinda ignore him in a subtle way for a while. I know you're scared that it might turn out that he doesnt miss you.. but if you dont take this chance you'll never know. Cos if you keep going on with him like this he wont be missing you either. So why not just ignore him and risk the chance that the truth may not be what you want it to be... [Rochelle Oneida]

10/28/2006 8:36:05 PM

(cont.) the truth is the truth, sticking your head in the sand isnt going to change it. The truth'll only help you to move into the right direction, and that is what you want, isnt it? [Rochelle Oneida]

10/28/2006 8:38:10 PM

<< : so cute! smiles : >>

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