I have had a complicated life...
not to say most of it was my own fault...
but it seems this fault is mine
and mine alone...
I haven't written for quite some time...
maybe because I've been happy
or maybe because I haven't had time
either way my safety net has a hole
my well being has been faulted by stupidity
and my life has come to a screeching halt....
I've haven't spoken to anyone in almost a year
I haven't vented about anything 
because there has been no one to vent to....
I've put myself in a position that can't be fixed
I've let myself and others down and only I am to blame.....

If ever there was a time to be lost and confused
this would be that time
If ever there were a moment I could never forgive myself
this would be that time
If ever there were severe consequences
I have managed to pursue them....
If I never meant to hurt someone
I did it all the same...
I  am the only one to blame
I am the only one who was naive
I am the only person in my life
and I have put myself to shame.....