So Jan.1st 2006, i met a guy. His name was Josh and he's hot, and really nice, and i...liked him. Alot. But as it goes, all good things must come to an end, right? hmmm. Things were cool mind you after we met, he came back to the house with me after the bar closed,…we hooked up. He gave me his number and I told him I would call. Which I did, a couple days later. I didn't want to seem to obsessed, so pretty much I waited for him to call me back. Which he did thank God, about a week later. To make a long story short we hung out a couple of times from New Years Eve to about last week Tuesday. I thought he really liked me. I didn't want a heavy relationship out of it, but I really wasn't expecting him to be seeing other girls. When I went to the bar the other night with my friends, there was Josh in his prime. He was talking to this one other girls while other girls went up to him to say hello. Was I upset, hell yeah. I was really mad to know that I had been played by him. It sucks. I knew that nothing was going to become of this but I just didn't think he was such a whore. Every girl that he talked to made me wonder if he had hooked up her.  Well needless to say we haven't talked since that night, which is weird because I didn’t really get the benefit to "end" things with him you know. He just stopped calling. Like a part of me still wants him to call me, just it can be confirmed that, yes Maryanne, I liked you. I don't miss him, I just miss the attention he gave me. But I really shouldn't like him you know, he lied to me, and never really did appreciate me. So yeah I guess I was just another girl to him....I still think about him though. Like a lot. I saw him in the bar last night and he waved to me as I was leaving, I shouldn't have waved back, but he's just so cute you know. I know he liked me, I just know it. Or at least that what I’ve been telling myself since we met. So I found this quote that I wrote down from a book awhile ago, which is how I kind of feel. "...you hate him, but you can't stop thinking about him. You kid yourself he's all right really, and then when you see him again; it's like asthma and you can't breathe". lol, I can still breathe when i see him, but i don't know I just want him to still like me. One day he called me like three times, and I kinda thought it was weird. But now...I would give anything for him to call just to say hi. I'm a goober I know, and I need to stop thinking about him, but it's not like I get attention for other guys often you know? My gorgeous friends do, but not me. I'm not jealous of my friends, but they just don't understand why I can’t get over this guy. They could have any guy that they want. But I can't. Guys don't look at me like they look at my friends. I don't know.  So much for my happy ending huh? Like Avril says in her song, "Let's talk this over, It's not like we're dead, Was it something I did?, Was it something You said?, Don't leave me hanging, In a city so dead, Held up up so high, On such a breakable thread, It's nice to know you were there...Thanks for acting like you cared, And making me feel like I was the only one".

I’ll be alright.