You know, it's interesting to me how sense memory works sometimes. You'll hear a certain song, for example, and suddenly you're back in high school, or working at a certain job, or with a certain person again. It's amazing how vivid these memories can be.
Christmas is a tough time sometimes for those of us who are divorced (particularly when not by our own choice). One little ornament can set off an avalanche of emotions that you didn't even know you had, all because of sense memory. No matter how much I realize that I've moved on and healed from the "summer from hell," I still think about her at Christmas.
It's odd, how that happens. We weren't religious, we didn't make a big deal of it or anything, but it was always nice to exchange presents with someone I loved with all my being. It wasn't about the presents... it was about the expression of love that we exchanged by way of those symbols... those gestures... and now it's been over 2 and a half years, and I have a whole new life... I'm a whole new person... but the memories float to the surface like dreams, and by the time I wade into the muck of memory to catch them, they're gone again, and I don't know why I'm sitting in the dark burning incense and listening to depressing music.
I'm writing this entry to do more than simply vent and moan about the horrors of Christmas alone however... I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone out there. Thank you for being you, and if you haven't already... say a kind word to a stranger... just wish someone you don't know a happy holiday. Hell, give them a hug, if you think they won't mace you. I'll bet some people would appreciate that a lot. I know I would. In fact, spread that feeling beyond the season... you don't just have to do it during the holidays, you can extend a greeting to someone you don't know year round. You never know what kind of difference you might make in someone's life.
Sometimes all people need is to know that they aren't completely alone.
Peace, love, and happiness all...