Hey everyone HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Alot has been going on sence the last time I have written. My love might leav me and there is nothing I can do about it and all I can think of is how can I just go on. Before I was depress because there might be another girl out there that is better in jacks eyes then me and I wanted to just die and end it there so there would be no pain. Now I must meet this girl and tell her how I feel and see if that will save me and jack. Sunday is the day that is will take place and I am scarred shitless and I have no idea what I'll say if she talks back or if she excepts and yet I feel the same and nothing has changed, I just hope I don't chicken out. I spend new years with jack and it was great but shure enuf new years day was hell. I got up and eat with jack then we played our games and he was hurtin so bad but we left and went to target with his parents and got x-mas stuff then off to the mall. I relized i didn't want to leav and go home just go go to a meeting of mine for like an hour I wanted to stay with jack. so I went home with them. When we got there I told him we needed to talk and it took forever but it all went down hill when danny called. Jack told him there I was there and when I leav he will call him, but as soon as he got off the phone he asked if I was going to leav now. That is when everything just went down hill. I wont say what was said but I will say that he didn't go and I left at 12:00am. I don't think I can make it though our break up if we do and I am scarred that I will do somthing to my self over it. Why? because jack has all  his friends and he can go see them when ever but the 2 I have are always busy and so I don't have them as much. Nikkie you have helped me relize alot of things in the last week and I love you for that. but I want to ask will you please go with me on Sunday and help me do what I have to do and help me though this rugh time because I feel somthing is going to happen and it is not going to be good. I will try to call you tonight and I will try to call tomarrow but if I can't get you then please meet me at my house at 1:00pm on Sunday. Well not much more to say but yet there is alot more to say. I guess though I will end this and go drive around and hopfuly my anger will not take over today and somthing will happen.

Rebecca