I have nothing to write, I just feel like I should.

I've actually taken care of most of my issues regarding school.  For the most part, it's clear sailing until the end of August.  There are things that I just can't do until the last minute so I'm not going to stress myself out by fretting over something I can do nothing about.  Part of me wants to take this dip in the drama and enjoy the Summer.  But that's a little bit of an oxymoron for me because I hate Summer.  Although this one has been fairly pleasant.  My main reasons for disliking summer are just that I hate heat and sunshine, which would make my decision to move to California seem like a fairly poor one.

But if Paris taught me anything, it's that, despite my protests to the contrary, I am a California boy, through and through.

My cousin Ricky showed up with his wife and two children at my parents' front door.  I guess that he told everyone there was a BBQ there except my parents.  They were thrilled as you can imagine.  It was very strange considering I haven't seen Ricky since my parents' wedding in 1995 when he was 12.  Suddenly that little boy is grown up with two children.  Oh, and he's my little brother's best friend.  I don't know what happened while I was out of the country, but those little fuckers really spun out of control during my absence.

Cameron has totally become shut-off and mouthy... even to me.  We used to be really close, but now he's secretive and won't even acknowledge me at all.  It's a little frustrating, but I suppose that was bound to happen at some point.  He'll get quiet, become an asshole and then grow out of it... Hopefully.  Chuckie, on the other hand, has become a Christian... which is ironic because that's actually what his name is...  Now, I'm not putting him down, but it's really reorganized his whole life.  I mean, he was never as clever as Cameron is, but he had a level of charisma that out shined even me.  It's seemingly taken a back-burner to the Lord.

He told me that he's planning on going to the local Bible College because he wants to be a pastor.  It's fairly easy for young members of my family to be seduced into the church, mainly because it is always being advocated unrealistically to the youngsters.  What I mean is that there is never any kind of context to the things that are discussed in the church or the rapid change of behavior that happens when the family starts attending as a whole.  And by rapid change of behavior, I simply mean the sudden mask that develops in the presence of people related to the church.

I guess, he'll have to learn just like me and that's the hardest way.

This has kind of contextualized the hesitations I had about my other siblings coming down for a visit.  My father's children, two boys and a girl, are coming down for the 4th, and I've been nervous about it.  However, if this week has taught me anything, it's reminded me that despite societal pressures, family doesn't get any deference when it comes to my life, in fact, they're usually avoided at all times.

That's one thing that has me very excited about the future.  I'm very excited to be hundreds miles away from my mother once again.  For some reason, my life is so much less complicated when I don't have to see her every day.  Some people think that's disheartening, I call it reality.