I've had an interesting week.  Many ups and downs to it.  It started last monday when things at home got a little shifty...  I dunno, people have just been boggling my mind.  I can't comprehend anything that has been happening really, it's just all funked.  heh.  well my weekend started thursday, was gonna head to Ro Po... but then it got cancelled cause to many people and shit...  so Kenny said I could crash at his place.  We had some beers, but then we fell asleep before 12 heh.  whatever it's cool.  Nice kid that Kenny... never really talked to him or hung out with him that much before then... well friday, came along... went to work... and stuff... then that night headed to Ro Po and proceeded to get plastered... I don't remember much cause I blacked out... but apparently I talked some shit about my past... which I'm not to happy about... cause all these people know now.... and my past is extremely personal and i've felt very uncomfortable around people lately.  Saturday... I was stupid... i left to the city... not a good idea.  I visited a friend in the hospital, he's fine.  He was sleeping.  Then... i bought some whisky from a hobo and i started to drink.  I got angry and headed towards an ex friend's of mine where I got there and started yelling at him a whole bunch of shit.  He threw the punch first and so we fought... god i'm stupid.  Monday night... i had some whisky left over that i finished on my own... tuesday i convinced aranda to have a dance party and i went at 10:30 and got home at 4.  Wednesday i went to my boss's house to go make these fucking light orb things... and we just sat and drank beer and made these things for four hours... heh.  I don't know... i've just felt strange.  This weekend really ended something for me... and it's left me completely alone.  It's a good thing that it happened... but still.  It was such a large portion of my life... it's hard.  I should make new friends... and i have to a certain extent... but it's very difficult for me, i'm just having troubles...  it's my fault...  i just can't do it again.  Every best friend i have either leaves... or dies... or something... i just sorta want to be left alone by everyone, forgotten so i can start anew, but at the same time... i don't.