Since the last time I wrote I've been working hard.  No not at my job.  I've been working hard at excepting that I might be single all my life.  Don't get me wrong if the occasion comes up and there is a guy interested in me and I like him and he's a good guy......yes I'll jump on the love train...toot toot.  However if not I'll be totally fine.  It hasn't been real easy tho.  I've been having dreams about Buck I still get up and look when I hear car doors shut.  I am getting better.  The last time when I was in this state of mind I planned big things for my life.  I was going to start a Chihuahua rescue.    I had dreams of having tons of Chihuahuas.  This time that isn't so much of a dream of the future.  I realized once I got over the glitz of the idea that it would take lots of money.  To take care of lots of dogs you need to be around.  So I'd have to inherit a lot of money or try out one of those " get rich quick" things you see advertised on tv late at night and in the early morning.  Anyways so basically I havn't decided where my attention will be in the future.  Who knows maybe I"ll finally write that tell all book about what it's like working in retail and then teach them shopping etiquite.  No I'm not a classy broad.  I fart and belch just like the rest of you.  I just think that unless you have a jug of juice on top of eggs thats the only time you should move whats been sacked.  If your moving just to be an ass thats not polite.......that can't be polite.  Now I know why Aldies makes you bag your own crap.........they may have something there lol.

Okay enough about griping about work.  This next week I have my EEG done.  Not to nervious about it yet.  The week after that on the 21st I go see the pulminary doc.  I was supposed to see the gyno..........however luckily this week they called and cancelled.  Thats the one I was dreading.  I havn't had a pap and a breast exam since 2002. Yup I know thats bad.    However I think they were going to do more than just a pap and feel around on the twins.  I know they are concerned about Poly cystic ovary syndrom.  I think they do a scope that has a light and a camera at the end that they can look around up there.  Thats what I was dreading.  I know my mom would make me as comfortable as possible before hand making jokes about sex changes and stuff  ( she has done that every time I go to a doc).  No I havn't had a sex change .  My boobs and my other are real!  Oh well they gyno cancelled WOO HOO!

I havn't done much today.  I watched my soap operas.  Yup all 4 of them.  Young and the restless, Bold and the beautiful, One life to Live, and General Hosptial.  How I love the first and the last one.  However I miss the nurses ball that GH used to do a few years ago.  It was fun watching our favorite characters get up on a stage and sing and dance all for the sake of charity.  I'd like to see that again.  Maybe Dillion could do some dramatic scene from an old movie.    Patrick Drake could strip.  I'd watch him!  However the Lulu story line has shocked me.  When I watched her as she said she was pregnant I was really shocked.  I guess I didn't expect that in a story line this year.  Why not the soaps this year seem to be dealing with very serious events.  It's not really been the usual this person is sleeping with this person and this person got murdered.  it's been dealing with aids and pregnancy and drinking and driving and multiple personalities.

Okay I think I need to warn people when I go into soap talk.  Maybe highlight it or soemthing.

Jere came down for a few days.  I enjoyed him...........well talking to him I didn't see him until the last day when he woke me up banging on the door.  I enjoyed our chats online.  Jere was nice and funny and down right ohnery.  I enjoyed him.  Hopefully he enjoyed our talks as well.  The talks.....I think I'll look back to years to come and smile.  With Jere we don't know what the future holds.  He could be in jail he coudl be dead he could be in Pureto Rico having orgies or something.  His life isn't predictable.  However those talks will be a great memory.  Who knows Jere could be going around and telling his story and helping others out there who might be going thru something simular.  Thats the one I'd like to see.  it would be rewarding for the people and yet for him.

Well I think I"m gonna shut up now.  My rambling is starting to bore me.