I came home from school. Binged. Purged.

but something definitely happened... i cramped. badly _{so badly i could taste it}

went on with my life. no biggie...

except when i saw blood.

for those of you on my favs list, you might have read the entry. the one where i questioned if i was...yeah.

i'll never know now. if i had my period anymore, i would have it in 3 weeks. not now.

but i was thinking...oi. i dunno, i'm so phuking dumb, i dont know. i guess i was kinda playing with the idea. playing with the delusional idea, that is... of us being a family.

but that wont happen for a long time. and thats a good thing. a reeely gooad thing, and i for some damn reason cant fess up to it.

i feel like i've lost a part of me, and i'm so...sad? i guess. sad...

and the thing is, i dont know if i even had it to begin with, so how can i feel like hell for having lost it?

...but i do.