I am an American
The best of the best
Absolutely perfect
A hand above the rest

So what if I'm ignorant
Of any politics
I can thoroughly ensure you
Orange and pink do not mix

We have an idiot as president
A movie star in charge of Cali
But that makes no difference
Because my vacation is in Maui

The economy is slumping
The poor are overtaxed
But that doesn't matter to me
Until my credit cards are maxed

Overseas others are starving
And dying day by day
As I chomp down on my muffin
At my favorite french cafe

It doesn't matter if i know
Tokyo from New Delhi
As long as I can fit into
My skimpiest bikini

The environment is wonderful
I care for that too
Especially the flower pots
They smell like my shampoo

I love my country and my home
It's absolutely grand
There is no other country with
Women so well suntanned!