It's been an uneventful few days, OD friends. And that's just fine with me. The older I get, the more I appreciate these "uneventful" days.
Moya and I have been doing exceptionally well these past few days. Ever since I bought the OCD book and we've been going over it together, we've experienced a subtle change. While the issues I have with OCD don't seem all that bad on the face of it, if you are a bit of a slob (which, God love her) Moya is, then living with me can be quite a challenge. She couldn't put a glass or piece of mail down before I was swooshing in behind her to clean it up, so that when Moya turned around or came back to the "scene of the crime" her glass or letter would be gone. In the first few years of our relationship, she often thought she was going crazy. Then she realized it was me. Now I get blamed for everything, whether I cleaned it up or she misplaced it.
It causes some tense moments in our relationship. A messy house makes me feel as if my life is spinning out of control. I've had to try and relax my standards a bit in this relationship but if other stresses in my life are occurring, a messy house is too much for me to deal with and many arguments inevitably occur between Moya and I. I must clean and set my house in order to feel ok about life but I feel resentful towards Moya for having to do it. Moya does not have OCD and therefore doesn't think dirty dishes sitting in the sink for a few days, or not sweeping the kitchen floor in a week or well, ever, is reason for my frantic cleaning sprees.
So while this OCD business may sound harmless on the surface, it's actually causing a lot of shit with our relationship. Since we've been reading the book and coming to grasp a few of the basic concepts, we're both much more aware of how this works and we're taking steps to co-exist in a more harmonious way. As Moya says, we should help each other become better people, help each other become who we want to be.
I agree with her. So I'm trying to be less rigid and more aware of my "OCD moments" and she's trying to be more considerate and less lazy on the domestic front.
And yes, I know this all probably sounds more like "the day in the life of any couple" than OCD, but I'm not boring you with all the fine details. The incessant cleaning is actually in response to stress or anxiety, which is called a "ritual" in OCD-ese.
I'm off to the river this weekend to help my friends haul some scrap metal to town. We'll add the funds we earn to the outdoor kitchen they plan on building at what we affectionately refer to as the "River Palace". It will no doubt be a weekend full of beer and crazy, it always is. I look forward to it. I hardly ever have "OCD moments" at the river!