"Pets are like children, they love unconditionally"

~River Angel

Dear Diary...

It has been a real grueling past few months for me and ended with a wonderful surprise visit from my daughter, who I had not seen for two years. She came home and surprised me at work (teaching, no less) and made my day. Her coming home was two-fold: I had to make an appointment with the vet to put our cat of 15 years to sleep as he had been sick for over a year and it was taking it's toll, and she needed her mommy in the worst way.

My daughter and I talked all Friday night about her life and tears flowed like that of a newborn child. She told me some things that made me glad I am a Christian. It seems that two weeks before she came home, my baby tried to commit suicide...this freaked me right out, they rushed her from Chicago to Milwaukee via ambulance and had she not had a change of heart, I would not have my baby today. And the killer here is the non-support of her husband. He told her that if she ever tried that again he would F%&$*&#G leave her. I tell you, I was (and remain) infuriated and wanted to go to Illinois and slap him into reality. He should have been asking why and how could I help you. Know what I mean? My daughter did not want to go home at all. They live in the same town as her in-laws and they control every step her hubby takes. The only way this marriage can be saved, sadly, is for them to move away from his parents and that is not going to happen. I told my daughter that whatever her decision ended up being, I would support her, as she has to live her life, not me. She did go home and her husband actually had a big welcome home sign up for her and a bouquet of flowers for her. I talk to my daughter daily and she says that things are a little bit better. I'll find out for sure in April as my sister is flying up from California and is staying with my daughter for three days. She will listen and make suggestions, but ultimately, my daughter will be the one making the decisions. We will support her. We love her. She is my baby and always will be.

When my father died back in 1992, my daughter came home from school with the cutest little kitten, white and black and begged me to let her have him. I had sworn that I would never have another pet after the disaster of our last pet. I made her promise to take care of him and teach him to use the cat box and she would have to feed him. Well, as what usually happens, I ended up doing all that and Raiders (named after the Oakland raiders, my daughters favorite football team) became my baby boy.

Raiders had a personality that everyone loved. He would come out whenever we had company and see what was up. He jumped on everyone's lap and purred as he was scratched and patted. He would lay with me and really watch movies. He came camping with me every year since I had my camp. He became a regular at everyone's campfire looking for scraps of steak and burgers. Everyone loved him. He became my best friend when I was at my lowest and living in my bedroom. He was the best pet anyone could have asked for. I loved him with all my heart and he was like one of my kids, my baby boy.

Anyhow, we spent Raiders last day with him and we loved him and patted him and I cried and my daughter cried. It was a very bittersweet day. We both went in and were with him when the vet gave him the overdose of anesthesia. I was so blinded by tears, all I could think of was how much my kitty trusted me and here I was, sending him home. I know we did the right thing, but it doesn't make things any easier. We had to drive him to the crematorium and I picked him up last week. They put his ashes in a nice hand-carved box with a gold rose on the top. I wish I could post a picture of him here for you all to see how cute he was and why I still call him a kitty even though he was fifteen years old. He weighed seven pounds when he died. He only weighed ten pounds at his healthiest. He was a very small cat, hence the reason he was my baby boy.

Oh Lord, how I miss my Raiders Kitty...I love you!

Yours in the Lord,

River Angel