I started this on myspace, but I can't write my heart there...too many people know me and sometimes I just need to vent and this has always been a safe haven for me to do that. Why do I stay away when I need OD SO MUCH????  I need somewhere safe I can share my heart. Why is it that when life knocks you on your butt that the vultures always settle in? I'm am having such a hard time with my Uncle's murder (My Uncle's wife shot and killed him last Friday night. He was only 3 years older than I am and we grew up together. I am REALLY REALLY struggling with this one!) and STUPID uncaring people are driving me mad about the most idiotic trivial things. Tonight I was blindsided by someone who I believed cared about me. She was stirring trouble between myself and one of my few remaining other friends. I am in a very low place this morning. Tonight is his wake and his funeral is tomorrow. I've been asked to sing Brad Paisley's "When I get where I'm goin" Not sure if I can. Not sure if I can stand seeing him in that casket. I have NO ONE other than my husband I can talk to...and there are some things I can't say to him because he cares so much...don't want to make it more than he can bear either. I'm stressing...and hurting...and continuing to be hurt...not sure what to do...where to turn...who to trust...just want to crawl in the bed and pull up the covers. Not here for pity...just need to vent. Just need to write my heart. Not sure I can...don't have the words...just random thoughts and pains. :(