The Diary Master “Received a complaint” regarding my last entry and set it to private to give me a chance to clean it up. I’m most appreciative of the DM’s leniency in giving me an opportunity to restructure the entry, which I will of course do, rather than deleting it.
However, I am left with a few honest questions:
To the person offended enough by the entry to make a complaint:
Wasn’t the warning paragraph at the top of the entry sufficient? What of the concept of just not reading the entry?
Warning paragraph: “The graphic description of a sexual experience using "filthy, disgusting" language follows. This description is as it occurred so I make no apology for it. However, you should not go beyond this point if you find such dialog offensive.”
Did the language or the pictures, or both, offend you? (While the pictures may not be considered “PG,” I thought they were artistic and contributed to the entry in a significant way. None of the pictures, save one, showed the human genitals, nor did I think they were “pornographic” in any way.)
Additionally, the DM reviewed my front page and determined the two photos appearing there also violate the site rules and must be removed.
To those of you who read the entry, would you care to join me in asking the DM to grant an “Adults Only” kind of section where the rules are relaxed a bit? I don’t know how that would be achieved exactly, nor do I know if the DM would even consider the request but I would like to ask him.
On certain sites I’ve visited I’ve seen self-regulating screens you click through that might work here, if the DM so grants. Adopting that concept here might take the form of a screen that says something like,
“The author has declared this entry an “Adults Only” entry where adult images and language are used. By clicking “yes” you are stating you are an adult, over the age of 18 and you are not offended by such images or language.”
I wish to encourage you to comment, pro or con, by posting a note below. If there is sufficient response, I’ll ask the DM to review this entry for his assessment.
To those of you who want to offer a comment but don’t want to disclose your identity, I’m allowing unsigned notes on this entry only.
If you who did not get to see the entry and would like to in order to post an opinion, give me your email address and I’ll forward my backup copy to you. You can post your email address here, in a private note, or email me at Nunzio@opendiary.com
While I fully recognize this site is the private property of the DM to do with as he sees fit, I also recognize the present rules seem to collide with certain aspects of humanness, sex to name one of them.
Though my interpretation of “The Rules” was too liberal under scrutiny of the DM, I honestly thought anyone who might be offended by the entry certainly would not read past the initial warning paragraph at the top of the entry. Rule three gave me that confidence where it states, in part, “If you do not agree with the viewpoints expressed by another diarist, please choose to simply not read their diary.” (Emphasis by the DM.)
Yes, I could go to a site that has more relaxed rules re sexual expression but I really don’t want to. I give credit, in part, to the DM for developing this site but a significant credit goes to the individual members of this diverse community of members from around the world. It is a most interesting group to me, strange as it is to say, I have developed acquaintances, friendships, and relationships that I wish to continue.
Censorship around sexuality has been going on since they decided what books were to be included in the Bible. It has always been a slippery slope to define and it hasn’t become any easier. I grant that the DM has a difficult job in that regard.
Addressing the safety of our children for a moment, I agree it is important to keep curious children from certain dialog and pictures such as I’ve posted but can’t that be accomplished by methods other than complete banning of such dialog? Is there not room on OD for adults (explicit language and pictures) and children, separated by some kind of electronic fence?
Considering a young, curious mind can simply Google anatomical references and be presented with thousands of eye-searing images under its image search, how are they protected by OD’s rules?
Simply stated, the question I pose is:
Is it possible to allow a little more freedom of (adult) expression here?
Edit: Friday, November 21st
To those who took the time to note me on this issue – THANK YOU so much! To those who chose to go a step farther and write in their own diary about this issue, or referring others to this entry, a SPECIAL thank you!
To the other 74% of you (site meter stats) who read and clicked on by… if you have an opinion on this matter, now would be a good time to make it known. I sure would appreciate a brief note from you stating Yay or Nay.
This entry allows unsigned notes, if that makes it easier for you.
Edit: Sunday, November 23rd
I am blown away by the amount of interest this entry has garnered. Thank you so much for your supportive notes. It seems many of you have also felt stifled by “The OD Rules,” as it relates to adult material and offered excellent suggestions as to how a happy co-existence might be achieved.
Some of you were so triggered by the editorial limitations around adult content that you submitted your own entries on the subject.
Here are two I’m aware of, and thankful for: (Thanks you guys.)
I’m also pleased that, according to Site Meter, the percentage has increased on those who have entered a note here, verses those who read and do not.
I mentioned that, if there were enough response on this entry I was going to ask the DM to review it (as if he’s not already) with the request that he consider some kind of adult content feature.
I don’t know how many notes/requests for an adult only feature would get the DM’s attention, given that today’s count of on-line diaries is 564,707, but we’ll see.
Some of you have suggested, “What’s the big deal; just write those entries as “Favorites Only.” Unfortunately, writing an adult entry as a Favorites Only, does not protect the author from deletion under “The Rules” as presently posted.
And to those of you who are helping by commenting on why other’s suggestions or ideas are ineffectual, ludicrous, a joke, or otherwise will not work, please consider using your powerful creative talent in a constructive way, to truly help find something that maybe will work!
And that leads me to a reminder for all of us… many of you have offered suggestions relating to First Amendment rights. I’m not an attorney but my gut tells me this is not a First Amendment “Right” we’re talking about here.
Though OD is a public website, it is privately owned and the owner does have the right to establish rules. Just as each of us has the right to say to someone invited to our home, “Do not use swear words in front of our children. If you do, I’ll ask you to leave.” The rules are posted and we must agree to them as a condition of membership.
I make this distinction to clarify the issue I am raising here is not a demand, it is a request, an appeal, to the DM, to find some way to allow more freedom of expression around the subject of adult content.
Finally, I had no idea what I was doing when I offered to send my back up copy of the offending entry, via email, to anyone who requested it. I sent 7 out yesterday but when I checked my private notes and my emails around noon today and had a total of fifty-seven more requests, I knew I was either going to have to hire staff or find an alternative!
Therefore, the alternative is… The “Offending Entry,” sanitized!
You were SO nasty to me last night!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The graphic description of a sexual experience using "filthy, disgusting" language follows. This description is as it occurred so I make no apology for it. However, you should not go beyond this point if you find such dialog offensive.
Oh my GOD, you were SO nasty to me last night! You came over late, after your meeting. I was asleep, on my back, as you crawled on top of me, fully clothed in your business suit but without panties (my favorite look on you), and rubbed your (Meow!) on my (Stupid Stick) to awaken it before me.
You spoke SO nasty to me. Leaving me no decision in the matter, you forcefully took me, wrapping one hand around my (Stupid Stick) to guide it into your very wet (Meow!) as you told me,
“You are going to (street slang for sexual intercourse) me now because I want it! I want to feel your (Stupid Stick) in my (REALLY rough slang for, “Meow!”) where another man’s (Stupid Stick) just (street slang for sexual intercourse)ed me.”
Your knees flat on the bed with both hands pressed to the center of my chest, holding me there as you expertly rotate your hips back and forth while your tight (REALLY rough slang for, “Meow!”) flexes and releases around my (Stupid Stick), grasping and releasing, grasping and releasing.
As you laid flat on my chest, elbows in tight by your side, hands holding my face, lips dropping to meet mine to lightly lick them, I smelled the wine as you simultaneously spoke your filthy commands through the kiss…
“You love my (REALLY rough slang for, “Meow!”), don’t you baby? Do you feel how I can tighten it around your (Stupid Stick)? Do you feel how I can control you with it? Tell me how good my (REALLY rough slang for, “Meow!”) feels. It drives you crazy, doesn’t it baby?
It drove him crazy too, the man I just (street slang for sexual intercourse)ed. And now your (Stupid Stick) is right where his was.
You love (street slang for sexual intercourse)ing my (REALLY rough slang for, “Meow!”), don’t you baby? Especially when I’m wet with another man’s (male reproductive fluid)!
Now just lay there, don’t touch me, don’t do anything except stay hard. I’ll take your (male reproductive fluid) from you when I want.”
In my drowsy state, I was quickly lost, whimpering, and slipping down the slope to orgasm. Your hips rose and fell on my (Stupid Stick) with vengeance, with purpose, and with expertise, making a sharp report as your (REALLY rough slang for, “Meow!”) slammed into my pelvis. I arched my back up and held it there to meet your attack thrusts. You were rough and in command as you used me for my hardness and took what you wanted, saying, commanding, hissing at me, “And NOW I want your (male reproductive fluid)”as you slammed down harder and faster on my (Stupid Stick).
Holding my face, looking straight into my eyes, you sneered through curled lips, “You want to give me all your (male reproductive fluid) now, don’t you baby!” It was not to be confused with a question, it was definitely a demand!
The warmth spread from my loins, I was babbling and losing control, I could feel the contractions starting… and so could you.
“That’s it baby; you want to feel yourself spurting deep into my (REALLY rough slang for, “Meow!”), don’t you baby?”Relentlessly you slammed your tight (REALLY rough slang for, “Meow!”) up down on my (Stupid Stick) again and again and again!
Knowing one of my keys, you moved your mouth to my nipple and as you issued the command, “GIVE ME YOUR (MALE REPRODUCTIVE FLUID), N-O-W!”you bit my nipple, hard!
Involuntarily I arched up, down, up, up again; you rode me effortlessly, never releasing your bite on my nipple, nor the tightness of your fully flexed (REALLY rough slang for, “Meow!”) wrapped around my (Stupid Stick) in a death grip, commanding, controlling, and manipulating me!
REMEMBER: Insulting, degrading, or otherwise offensive notes are strictly forbidden. Any such notes will be deleted by our staff, and will result
in the diary of the person leaving the note being removed from this site. For more information, please refer to The Rules.
I would support "adults only" content with a warning the likes of which appears on the opening page of porn sites (I've heard. Ahem).
I can only imagine those who "object" as one of your readers did, are concerned about children "accidentally" or intentionally reading your content. Adults can just click out of it. I mean, right? I mean, right, whoever had you busted? [red running hood]
11/21/2008 4:41:38 PM
I too would support an "Adults Only" section, so we could all freely express our opinions without the fear of censorship. [Silent King]
11/21/2008 4:54:10 PM
Okay, first you scared the living beejeezus out of me - I thought I'd pissed you off and you'd dropped me from your Faves!
Second: I think an Adults Only area would be completely appropriate given the number of people who write erotica on this site. There are both "Erotica" and "Erotic Stories" INTERESTS on the site for cripes' sakes!
I found your last entry FAR LESS OFFENSIVE than many (if not most) of what passes for political commentary around here and CERTAINLY less offensive than the entries people post (as Public) blasting other diarists for differing opinions.
Yes, I understand the importance of not exposing the Under 18 crowd to explicit material. I also know full well that many of the people writing some of the most disgusting crap I come across around here are those very same Under 18s.
If anyone needs to be BUSTED around here, I say it's the 15 and 16 year olds writing about their drinking binges, drug use, and sexual promiscuity.
Again, and back to your point: I STRONGLY AGREE THAT AN ADULTS ONLY AREA NEEDS TO EXIST!! Maybe being able to set an entry as Adults Only like we can designate Private, Public and FO Entries. [Principassa Pollyana]
11/21/2008 5:00:25 PM
Considering that I find the language barely "filthy" and perfectly acceptable between adults - I agree.
An Adult's category, created the same way we privatize or favorite our entries would be an acceptable option.
I'd like our diaries to be capable of reflecting the entire gamut of who we are as people, and that includes the sexual, beautiful, and artistic side of nakedness. [Ionuin_99]
11/21/2008 5:01:00 PM
I didn't get to read it before it was blocked/taken down. I would like to....but don't need to in order to comment.
I totally agree that something should be done to allow us to express our ADULT thoughts/experiences. Since a warning paragraph didn't cut it, something else should be done in order to allow us to continue our right to express ourselves. [loving*life]
11/21/2008 5:08:14 PM
P.S. I think that Principassa Pollyana totally NAILED it in expressing her feelings on the matter! [loving*life]
11/21/2008 5:09:03 PM
Sorry I missed the entry... I clicked on it while I was at work, read your disclaimer at the top and clicked away... figured I could come back when I wasn't at work. Now I'm bummed.
Seriously... who would read the entry after that disclaimer and have the nerve to be upset?
Got my vote. I'd bet that a good half of the diaries in here would have to be closed in order to enforce the current OD rules. How many of us paying customers would keep diaries here if the rules were that strict?
I vote for adopting the "Adult Content" disclaimer and accept/don't accept button. [nomolos]
11/21/2008 5:16:27 PM
I will happily join you in a petition for an adults only section.
The DM simply could say "why not go to a different diary site." I'd like to say, i LOVE OD. I really do. The community is so different here than other diary sites, its very intimate and its a wonderful place to write.
"why not keep it a favorites only or private entry?" The point is to SHARE, to explore with our friends AND strangers, new comers.. To expand with each other. Thats why I love keeping my entries public (and not to just ODers either). I want to reach out and I think lots of want to do that.
However, things change, the popularity of this site has gone up since it started (I joined about 2 years after the site was up, under a different diary). I am now a paying member. I write almost exclusively on OD.
I think the next part of an OD growth is to include an adults only section or disclaimer screen. As Pollyanna mentioned, there are many adult "interests" and many of us on here who have those subjects listed in our interests. I think having an adults only section or disclaimer would be a wonderful, wonderful compromise. I hope the DM is open enough to consider this opt
11/21/2008 6:07:49 PM
I have 4 children and I take personal responsibility for educating them and monitoring them on the internet including things like checking logged history (not the kind they can delete) etc. I have caught them inappropriate viewing. Kids are curious! BUT it is my responsibility to help them through this just as it was always a parents job to check under beds for erotic mags. My kids DO NOT have [~ms~sy*lv*ry*nn]
11/21/2008 6:10:36 PM
computers in their bedroom. They are in a public part of the house where adults live! I am so sick of people expecting the rest of the world to take responsibility for their kids. As to adults offended by this kind of content - You are free not to read it. You were warned. Grow up and take responsibility for your own viewing and allow others to experience life according to their own wishes. [~ms~sy*lv*ry*nn]
11/21/2008 6:12:44 PM
And I feel the DM is open enough to consider. OD is a great place, as I've said before, but I'd like to see it grow even more.. and not just in popularity, in its ideals.. I think this would be a wonderful compromise between ODers who are sensitive to this sort of material and those of us who feel free to express ourselves this way.
Expression is not simply limited to talking about politics, religion (how would we all feel about censoring those topics? I don't know why sex is seen any different-habit I suppose) its about our human experiences.. and if we close our mouths on what happens behind our bedroom door (or other places *grin*) then what is the point of opening up and speaking with each other?
Sex is part of being human.. Its one of THE best parts if you ask me..
See, this is why my callers call me (now those of you who know me will know who this is).. because we do NOT talk about it openly with each other, with our partners, with friends.. its this very idea, "to protect" from the innocent. Now I do agree that everyone should abide by the law (i do find it silly though. I wish we'd lower the age to 16 because lets face it, thats when w
11/21/2008 6:12:57 PM
Yes there are lines that must be enforced. Child pornography is so abhorrent that regualations must be used to ensure it can't happen (in theory). For all else, "an it harm none, do what ye will".
Yes to adults only sections. It will change absolutely nothing - except hopefully to silence those with too little to do. [~ms~sy*lv*ry*nn]
11/21/2008 6:17:14 PM
when we really need to talk about it but I digress).. I certainly don't want OD getting in trouble.. thats a sticky mess.. (heh)..
but I am sick of adults wanting to shut down those of us (in many forms of media) who are happy to express ourselves this way.. I'm quite laid back but this makes me fired up. Simply because THEY are not comfortable with it then WE have to shush and speak in whispers..
*sigh* But the rules are in place for a reason.. and really it isn't about the adults, its about the children and I think Pollyanna brings up a good point.. That under age crowd?? I go and read their entries..
Its very hard for me to not leave a note.. very hard .. and I don't because I write about adult nature topics (usually my job and my relationship situations)..
anyway, i could go on about american society and our views on sex but i will not.. because its about the rules, its about the "innocent" its about.. the law really.
SO i feel strongly this disclaimer idea is quite the happy medium.
You're a doll Nunzio *grin*
11/21/2008 6:18:33 PM
i, too, agree with the princess. why can't there be an option of "adults only" as there is faves, private, etc? shouldn't be that hard to do - the dm is a "master", afterall.
I would fully support it and have wished for it on several occasions. Sometimes I'm just in the mood for something a little more racy than the average soccer mom's account of her day (though I do enjoy those, too, on occasion).
If anyone should know of a site that is more "adult based", please let me know!
PS - Feel free to email me the entry in it's original context. ;) [Sophe]
11/21/2008 7:13:56 PM
I agree...There should be a option to have your entry be adult only such as favorite only...
We have right to say what we need to go on here....so DM needs to grow a pair ...afterall you warning the person not to read....Lord if they can't read ..how could they be upset over the entry....
Seriously? For crying out loud. I think the opening paragraph was plenty clear. Some people need a hobby. [ayybee]
11/21/2008 8:18:26 PM
Well Nunz there's always some self-righteous evangelical fundy that's got to stick there nose in someone else's fun and spoil it for everybody else. God save us from these pin heads! I hope you're happy now you pious wiener.
And what really frosts my cookies is that now I won't get to see that stud and his fine butt cheeks anymore.
I am merely visiting, dropping by due to the note I saw on the Princess' entry. I fully agree with you. I, at one point, was rather interested in writing some more 'adult' things. I never did, here on OD, and have kept my OD PG-13 (it does have morality issues early).
If I have faves who write something like what you wrote as a warning... I read carefully. If it bothers me, I stop reading. I've done it before, I can do it again. Heck, I've been offended, but I realize that that wasn't the intention, so I just let it go.
I think that with such a wide variety of individuals writing on this site that there really should be something for everyone so-to-speak and therefore no need to throw stones... Whoever was offended by your words should have moved on, especially considering the written warning at the top, and instead, sought out reading material that was more in line with their tastes. However, some people feel [~Desiderata~]
11/21/2008 11:07:17 PM
the need to fight strongly for what they feel is morally correct, etc. and there is no changing that if they are not in a place in their life that enables them to accept or embrace anything other than what they currently know.
I personally like your writing and would be all for a more adult section. I agree with some of the others in that having the option to set an entry to [~Desiderata~]
11/21/2008 11:08:15 PM
private, favourites, or adults only would be a great idea. I hope it will be considered.
Damn! I can't believe I missed it! You KNOW I would support an adult's only content, warning or whatever. I would have been pissed if this happened to me. I haven't written erotica in awhile (long dry spell) but I always appreciate the freedom to do so and the feedback from other adults. [Sheet Music]
11/21/2008 11:11:02 PM
'So sex is now a BAD thing? Did I miss a meeting?
1.You had a warning. 2. The entry was well written and detailed a consensual act. 3. People aren't forced to read anything.
Personally, I prefer not to write about my sexual life (especially seeing how a reasonably vanilla entry provoked this fuss) but I will fervently defend your right to write about anything you like.
I feel very sorry for people who can't cope with a fundamental part of human life, they are missing out. xx [Surfer Rosa]
11/22/2008 3:40:27 AM
Oh yeah, and I'm a mother. My teens have been brought up in a very libertarian way and are happy, well-adjusted people. They have seen porn on the net and read anything they wanted. No topic is taboo and they are allowed to research anything they want to. We've discussed the politics and implications of many difficult philosophical issues. Both of them have decided to wait until they meet 'the right one' before embarking on sexual relationships and they are neither shocked by human behaviour - nor feel any need to shock people themselves. My question is: what do people gain by pretending that things don't exist? How do they learn to cope if they insist that sex/drugs/politics/atheism/war/inequality/pick your theme are removed from their view? xx [Surfer Rosa]
11/22/2008 3:46:43 AM
I am strongly opposed to censorship of any kind. The mere fact that one person can decide the fate of whether something gets to stay posted or not scares me. While I think it is important to set limits on the type of material shown, if we are adults over 18 I think this type of content is fine. Perhaps the DM can have an adults only section of OD where one would have to register for and sign into with a new password, that way no one who wishes to not see such material will not have their eyes offended unwilling despite your best intentions to warn them of impending material. This section would be free of censorship and not subject to the same rules as regular OD. I think it is a good idea if it is doable.
I think those pictures were fine, the genitalia one may have pushed the boundaries in my opinion but it was far from offensive. The human body is not dirty, it should be celebrated. I see naked bodies all the time in my line of work and find them all to be beautiful in their own way. I still wonder why our own nakedness scares us so much. We really have a lot of hang ups about sex and the body in this country. [offmychest]
11/22/2008 9:19:37 AM
An adult only click sounds reasonable...effective no...none of it is ...kids can access porn sites with a click and a charge card...acually your header...warning was as effective ... I find your down and dirty entries very erotic and in good taste.
...But if it would allow an uncesored method of adult expression...a special click verifying the over 18 consent and acknowledfment of content...works [mymostself1]
11/22/2008 9:59:31 AM
I say Yes. This is irritating though that someone felt the need to report you.
11/22/2008 11:19:55 AM
I think the adult warning at the top should be enough. Maybe an Icon that people can put in. Lord knows we have the damn happy faces to deal with...lol.
I've written explicitly... and lord knows everyone does at times. And some WAY more consistently sexual than your entry. I think someone had a prudish moment and turned it in. I doubt strongly it was a consistent reader. They just strolled by and got offended.
But really... some note at the top is all that is needed... Saying if you don't like it don't read it. [drawnwell]
11/22/2008 11:25:39 AM
um, I didn't read the entry - it was already down by the time I clicked along.
I think the adults only idea is ok. I'm not sure it will stop young people from seeing things but it does mean that they are aware of what they are doing when they click into something. [mia jameson]
11/22/2008 12:06:10 PM
I have been out of pocket alot lately, so I missed the entry. I do however agree that an option of Adults Only would be a great idea. As we post things here that may be offensive, interesting, or boring .. they are our individual diaries and the reader definitely had the option to not read it. I think if someone reads something by choice, they cannot complain when they are offended. It would be like buying a playboy, and being offended the women are unclothed. ;) [Taylor Made]
11/22/2008 12:15:44 PM
i missed the entry (email@example.com). i support the idea of adults only and i hope the DM does consider it. i have many faves that write erotica on here and some have been forced into a faves diary. i hate to see that happen. if you find something offensive, just move along. good luck with this. [KimmieD]
11/22/2008 12:16:17 PM
Having written my fair share of erotica in the past with no complaints from readers, this seems very unfair.
Found you via an entry on a favs diary. This particular fav also writes (wrote) erotica. Personally, the adult only warning should have been a substantial enough indication that the content that follow might be offensive to some. If that be the case then DON'T READ! Seriously, if we are all adult enough to have those experiences we should expect that we are adult enough to document or write about them without fearing reprecussions from someone who is OBVIOUSLY not ADULT enough to read them. Freedom of speech my friend, is a beautiful thing. And really, you should not have to censor yourself for anyone. If they feel the content is going to be to provactive or descriptive for their tastes, they have the option of not reading or clicking the little button on the top that says "Back." It would suck to have to go favs only but I would definitely support (and contribute to) an Adults Only section. The problem with that would be all the writers who are less than vanilla would be known and grouped together in one place which sort of defeats the purpose of writing in anonyminity. Just my 2 cents, though. [AnonymouslyYours]
11/22/2008 12:34:50 PM
complaints tend to come from people who don't like you to begin with, rather than readers who were shocked or scandalized by your content.
complaints come from people who don't like you or your diary, and therefore monitor your diary, judiciously waiting for their first chance to run and tattle to the diarymaster.
the internet is so offensive to begin with -- nobody is going to bother wasting time filling out a complaint unless they have an axe to grind against you and are now savoring this chance to spoil your own enjoyment of your own diary.
I zipped over here from I Won't Tell... and I would support such a warning page. I think it's a great idea.
However, I also think that a warning paragraph should have deterred the complaintant from reading further and it's their own dang fault for reading ahead. [DesertDoodle]
11/22/2008 1:32:06 PM
Came here by the way of your note at drawnwell's. The warning paragraph should have been enough... But maybe some people need a billboard with spotlights and blinking lights flashing all over. For that reason an 'Adults Only' option would really help. [EternalOptimist]
11/22/2008 1:47:53 PM
I would absolutely support this! Brilliant idea!! [LonelySoul]
11/22/2008 1:50:53 PM
I read the entry. While it wasn't my style, I understand some people like it. But I can't imagine any reasonable person would try to say it wasn't "sexually explicit" which is what the rules prohibit. The DM's problem is that there are probably hundreds of diaries now in violation (and my own has been on occasion) and he is past the point of trying to enforce it, seems to me. He should have been more diligent long ago. His only option now is some sort of section like you suggested. I'm in favor of that. [NewzLady]
11/22/2008 2:02:43 PM
Definitely an adult's only section. Although this site was a great outlet for me as a teen, now there are so many other sites for teens, I wish this would be an adult's only site entirely. (Like, for example, paperbackswap.com does not allow anyone under 18 to belong, not because the site is "adult" in nature, but so they don't have to censor it or discussions.) [Magic Bandaid]
11/22/2008 2:37:59 PM
RYN: I would love to claim that I have pushed others to read. I haven't though. I am but one reader. *smiles* You can thank my own reading of the lovely Principassa.... She has been a fave of mine since I came to OD and I saw the note you wrote on her diary which drew my attention to this entry. [Argent D'or]
11/22/2008 2:49:31 PM
I believe in freedom of expression and I want to be free myself to say what I want to say - so I support your your right to say what you want to here. I agree the adult/non adult separation thing is difficult - so I don't have any answers to that. [woman in the moon]
11/22/2008 2:58:49 PM
I support an "adults only" section. I believe, however, that the person who complained was likely an adult since a kid probably would have read it and saved it for later.
Secondly, the warning paragraph was all that was needed. If that person was so offended, they should have figured it out from the top of the entry that their puritan sensibilities were going to be bruised by further reading. Idiots. [agamemnon]
11/22/2008 3:08:38 PM
There's a similar situation going on at another sight (deviantart) where they'll delete a drawing for being too suggestive [ie: lurking tentacles in a corner or whatnot] but they'll let a photo of a girl doing things with fruit that would blow your mind...
My opinion. People have two eyes and the ability to click away from a site if it offends them. You should have never been censored. ever. [Hawsegal]
11/22/2008 3:20:08 PM
I think you are being fair and asking for a compromise is very mature. Good luck! [Bells in my Batfry]
11/22/2008 3:35:19 PM
I've always wondered why people get so offended by things that they can choose NOT to read/listen to. I hate how people ruin things for everyone else by not heeding warnings such as the perfectly reasonable one at the top of your OD entry.
I havebeen around OD for several years and have no problem with content. We are not forced to read any entry, you had a warning posted and that should be all that is needed. I have 2 daughters who have recently started writing on OD, 1 over 18 the other under. I have no problem with the content nor would I ask anyone to censor their writings. OD is a medium of expression & an outlet for many of us [Blu Webling]
11/22/2008 3:53:07 PM
I would definitely support an adults only content site........ [PrincessSam]
11/22/2008 3:54:50 PM
We have the same option here as we do with our tv's, radio's & internet - don't like what you see or hear than click away.
I find the content of other diaries completely unsettling in terms of glorifing drugs, drinking, anorexia, cutting...BUT as always *I* have the final choice in what I read. I'm a mom to 6, supervise your children if thats your concern. [Blu Webling]
11/22/2008 4:03:39 PM
As always Principassa Pollyanna has the answer - an adult setting along with Private, Favorites Only and Public.
I support freedom of expression and do not like censorship, but do realize that there may be a legal issue that the DM has to deal with so that he is not open to lawsuits...I know on some adult industry boards they just can't mix under 18 with over 18 content, which may be an issue here.(ie: mixing cute nekkid baby pics with erotica on the same site)
I give you a BIG YAY on supporting an Adult Only section!!
and WITH your disclaimer - some chickensh!t dried up frustrated nimrod had to complain??? what a tool!! [goodgolly]
11/22/2008 5:08:03 PM
I agree with a little adult content .. with warnings of course .. If I come across a warning like the one you stated at the top of your entry( which I missed) and I have kids in the room I will come back .. there are a few diaries I only open while alone for obvious reasons.. [kiwichatter]
11/22/2008 5:13:44 PM
Well .. I just read the entry .. and .. well .. having made it to the end .. by my own choice ;) .. I am thinking if the person that was offended read the entire entry that maybe .. just MAYBE .. they enjoyed it more than they are willing to admit and lashed out in pure frustration. I did look to make sure the X stayed lit while I was reading, so as to prove they were not locked into the article by force and could have clicked out at any moment.
i didn't see the entry but now i really want to. ;) i think an adults only od is a great idea.
11/22/2008 5:22:10 PM
I agree with the general tenor here ... don't read if you don't want ot be shocked. NOT in favour of censorship, but a click-through warning maybe ... but blue webling expressed my thoughts well. there are sites here that disgust me becuase of cruel jeering jokes, or descriptions of mindless sex where stupid young girls are obviously beign abused .. but I don't go back. Nor do I complain, though those upset me. [Equanimous]
11/22/2008 6:20:18 PM
i'm appalled to hear about this actually, came over from a friends place. she has long talked about your writing talent. after all the entries i have seen about people deliberately mutilating themselves, starving themselves, raping and pillaging... and you get censored? your first warning paragraph should have been enough. that idiot should be tossed off of OD for his idiocy. he obviously wasn't intelligent enough to read in the first place. while adults only section would help.. people will get around that. why should we censor ourselves if someone isn't intelligent enough to read a warning? the dm should get a set of balls already. [RainbowGlitterWitch]
Having written a share of my own erotica entries a good many years back in the beginning of OD without any complaint from readers, I don't understand why anyone would bust you for your posts and pics here. I honestly believe an adults section or some moniker to signify that people 18 and older would be granted access seems to make sense. There are alot more offensive posts I've read here over the years and if I felt at all uncomfortable with anything I just stopped reading and moved on. Whoever busted you is being childish and apparently didn't pay attention to your warnings. Then again, anyone that knows your diary here couldn't be surprised by any erotic content because you've always been very open about sex. (not that that's a bad thing)
I honestly wish there was an OD site explicitly for the 18 and younger crowd, like another Myspace or Facebook.. [Another Lifetime]
11/22/2008 8:05:56 PM
ryn: I did not direct anyone to your entry but others have, I have seen some notes on other people's diaries. I just enjoy reading about sex since I am not having any of my own right now, and I think there should not be anyone infringing on my right to enjoy some sex, be it real or in printed form. Nor should there be anyone infringing on your right to write about sex, I would write about it myself but like I said, I ain't having any of my own! ;) [offmychest]
11/22/2008 9:00:41 PM
Either/or the option to for people to check a box that says, "If I hit something I object to, I'll hit the back button" and then that AO flag on the entry can warn/bounce people who don't agree.
I didn't read the entry, for the record. But the warning paragraph seems more than adequate to me. [Serin]
11/22/2008 9:07:38 PM
Different strokes for....well, you know the rest. Your disclaimer was adequate as a forewarning to any reader. Same as adult content on TV...if ya don't want to read it, then DON'T READ IT!! [Bird Broken Wing]
11/22/2008 10:08:36 PM
Adults only is a great idea.
11/22/2008 10:12:04 PM
hey, found you on one of my favorites and your note piqued my interest.
i am all for an "adult's only" section. if not for nothing i can finally get rid of people under the age of 18 reading my diary [Without Wings]
11/22/2008 10:13:45 PM
I didn't see the entry, but I'm an adult and I would have either chosen to view or not view based on your disclaimer. As the DM says, you can choose not to look. I agree totally with Princepassa and with the reader with the complicated * filled diary name who said "I am so sick of people expecting the rest of the world to take responsibility for their kids." Where *are* the parents when their kids are on the computer?
I think the best idea is an AO setting, but I don't know how it would get enforced because all those same kids whose parents aren't watching them are lying about their age online anyway. So put the disclaimer, put the adults only entry ability and figure beyond that it isn't our responsibility to police other people's children. [Karalys]
11/22/2008 11:22:26 PM
Censorship does indeed suck! People really need to grow up and if they are too immature to handle an entry that warned them, then they need to get a hobby. Might I suggest taking up reading the constitution, I hear the 1st amendment is riveting. [Freeverse]
Fight the Power baby...........and count me among your your Army = ) [goodgolly]
11/23/2008 10:01:20 AM
I was referred here by Sheet Music, and I certainly think some people have entirely too many opinions regarding other people's lives. Who ever complained needs to realize that the "back" button has a PURPOSE.
I am sorry you are going through this. I am favoriting you in order to keep tabs of this issue. I think the suggestions you made for adult block screens are good ones. Sad that it's come to that, though.
As a practical matter an adults only section would probably have to have a different IP address and server yadda, so as to keep the core site unblocked from things like net nanny and company firewalls. That would cost, probably a bundle, and the question always is, are you willing to pay?
The DM has said that he doesn't want to run a site that would embarrass his grandmother. [occam's razor]
11/23/2008 10:57:16 AM
So the possibility of him supporting an "adult" site, are probably a bit light.
If you want to use the site in the current form, then fav only is going to be the only way to write and keep out the strangers. The bordello diary was on here for a long time, and that was as "adult" as they get. [occam's razor]
11/23/2008 11:00:52 AM
i think there should be an option to make your diary entry "adults only". put in the drop down screen where you select whether an entry is private, faves only, etc.
personally i'd like a little bit more room to write freely about my thoughts or on any subject. i hate writing an entry and censoring myself because i know someone will find my entry and somehow be offended by me being honest & open [Raspberry Sextini]
11/23/2008 2:00:59 PM
I would definitely support an Adults Only section!
I too love to write erotically and I have advid readers who also enjoy my writings. I have always felt that if you don't enjoy reading what I write then you have that option on NOT COMING TO MY DIARY!!!
It isn't forced upon anyone to sit and read what I nor anyone else writes! It is again a freedom of speech! I do understand how ever about [ToxicBrownEyes]
11/23/2008 2:14:25 PM
children under age coming across such writings but again...I feel that there should be an adults only section to allow ADULTS be free with their feelings and not worrying about being labeled INAPPROPRIATE!
This would only allow "AN ADULTS ONLY SECTION" but lets be real...it isn't going to stop and filter out the under age readers from getting in still! [ToxicBrownEyes]
11/23/2008 2:16:34 PM
woah. i missed the entry, too! i would have loved to read it, not that i'm into erotica (haha, i am!), but because my free will allowed me the right to choose.
anyone who didn't want to read, despite reading the warning paragraph at the start, should have moved on to another diary. being upset at reading something you didn't want to read even after seeing the warning about explicit language, is just plain STUPID.
Your diary should not be censored by the DM. Did he ever here of the First Amendment or right to free expression? Call the ACLU!
11/23/2008 3:02:12 PM
I find it strange that your entry was upsetting enough to cause someone to complain to the DM. I read much more explicit stuff here.
I didn't comment on the entry because it left me with confusing feelings. Both a turn on and upsetting. But that's my issues and a reflection on my life.
I wonder what it was that someone found so offensive? [JustK]
11/23/2008 3:08:55 PM
well, sure, that "adults only" button is clearly a CYA tool. but it won't stop kids from reading. i mean, come on. who are we kidding? are we really trying to keep them out -- or are we trying to cover our a$$es? it looks like we're all dancing around the reality of the situation. "adults only" buttons are a joke. who stands at the door and checks id's?
clearly, there is the right to free speech and all that. absolutely, but we have to give a little too. after all, WE are the grownups. if you REALLY want to keep kids out, and i say this as a PARENT, i say write those entries under favs only. i have a kid and i make every effort to keep him from reading my diary, including writing in favs only. why wouldn't we do this on a global level? just because some teens write bad stuff here, it doesn't mean that all teens should be exposed to it. we still need to respect the teenagers. again, WE are the grownups here.
also, i agree with Brian, whoever told on you probably just hates you. :) [Mountain Girl]
11/23/2008 4:34:03 PM
In my opinion most of my entries are as tame as a new born kitten but I still don't like the idea of 'kids', minors reading what I write. We all know OD is open to everyone regardless of age and that limits what a lot of members write, me included. As a parent I'm always aware that a child might be reading. I'd rather not share OD with minors PERIOD. [live/love/laugh]
11/23/2008 4:42:53 PM
PS: i only glanced at the entry when it was up, i don't remember whether or not you had it set on favs only. if you did, forgettabout what i just said -- except for the "adults only" button. i still think they are a joke. [Mountain Girl]
11/23/2008 4:45:19 PM
Hi! It's the Princess' Fiance. :) I would like to think that we could come to some sort of accomodationg where we could have more "adult" themed entries. I will stand in support of adults-only entries, and will provide such support should we decide to bring it to the DM for consideration. [Gentleman Dragon]
11/23/2008 5:18:31 PM
I'm over from Principassa's...First, oh my...DAMN!! LOL :) Second, the edits made me giggle. Third, it's your place, duely warned, and as an adult I have the right to (or not to) view. Now I don't have kids, but my guess it it's up to the parents to monitor kids' internet usage and take appropriate actions from there.
I believe that you would have received no complaints from a 'Private' entry. :-) [Lincoln]
11/23/2008 6:54:06 PM
Seriously though, I've been here for 10 years and while The Rules aren't always enforced consistently, we've known about them for a pretty long time. You might try Wordpress if you're feeling constrained (I'd read it.) Yo, [Lincoln]
11/23/2008 6:57:26 PM
Sure, censorship sucks but don't make a bad guy out of DM for trying to stay out of court about the perennial pornography question. He's a businessman, not Lenny Bruce. [Lincoln]
11/23/2008 7:00:19 PM
Wowza, drama rama in OD land again. Censorship well, dunno. It truly sucks, but when writing on a site that states it's rules about language and content I'm not surprised. Now, I'm not saying I AGREE with the rules, but as long as they are there we're all in a way censored I guess. [Shesolovely]
11/23/2008 7:01:56 PM
I could smack myself for not reading the original entry- or maybe you could do that for me....~wink~.....
I am behind you 110% on this!!!!!!!!! Now, I guess I'll go back up & read the PG-13 version, dangit! [Ciao!Bella]
11/23/2008 7:08:09 PM
OK, I can't even read the 'revised' version.....it's seriously as ridiculous as I'm sure you intended it to be...I would love to know who complained.... [Ciao!Bella]
11/23/2008 7:09:29 PM
i agree with Lincoln on this. i find this entire conversation ludicrous. also, instead of putting the pressure on the DM, maybe some of us should try to actually get out and get laid rather than sit around writing (and reading) about it. *runs away* [Mountain Girl]
11/23/2008 7:23:05 PM
To Mountain Girl: We DID get laid, where do you think the entry came from? [Nunzio]
11/23/2008 7:36:28 PM
Hi Lincoln, thanks for your thoughts.
As to “knowing about the rules for a pretty long time,” I’ve been here five years and I too have known about the rules since day one. It isn’t unawareness of the rules that I’m examining. You read the part where I said, “While I fully recognize this site is the private property of the DM to do with as he sees fit, I also recognize the present rules seem to collide with certain aspects of humanness”? And in other place, “Though OD is a public website, it is privately owned and the owner does have the right to establish rules”?
As to “going to another site if (I) feel constrained,” you did see the part where I wrote, “Yes, I could go to a site that has more relaxed rules re sexual expression but I really don’t want to. I give credit, in part, to the DM for… ”?
Re your comment, “Sure, censorship sucks but don't make a bad guy out of DM for trying to stay out of court” I think if you read my entry carefully, the LAST thing I’m doing is “making a bad guy out of DM.”
In my view, the WHOLE entry is a thoughtful, non-judgmental REQUEST summarized at the end with, [Nunzio]
11/23/2008 7:38:28 PM
“Simply stated, the question I pose is: Is it possible to allow a little more freedom of (adult) expression here?”
I do appreciate you taking the time to enter the dialog with me.
I support your right to write here whatever you want!!!! Do you hear that, DM! I SUPPORT THIS CAUSE!
Signed, a 9-year paying, adult member of OD! [Tigressa]
11/23/2008 8:27:52 PM
I've read way worse in OD. And I do agree that an "adults only" by diary and by entry would be nifty, but it's also more coding on DM's part. [Overachiever]
11/23/2008 8:56:29 PM
I support you, Nunzio, and would like to add my voice to those asking for some sort of accommodation for the adults who are not offended by such writings. I, too, have been censored here. Only, I was censored by one of the admins over a picture of a fully clothed woman from the waist down, who was reaching under her skirt. The only skin showing was that of her arm...and yet I was censored by someone who, prior to his appointment as admin here, used to post very poorly written and explicit descriptions of his own sex life. [JezzyBelle]
I resentfully support the notion of an "adults only" OD site. I say resentfully because I'm lazy and I don't think I should have to alter my reading habits just because some prissy twat complained about a (very hot and awesome) entry you wrote just because it had sexual content.
To that person I say, "Get over yourself." You gave plenty of warning and that person gave up their rights when he/she continued to read.
It's bullsh*t like this that creates theocracies like the Taliban. Whoever complained about you isn't too far off from those people.
I refuse to endorse censoring your diary to appease the lowest-common denominator, and yes that includes sequesting you off to some "adults only" site as if you were some perv.
I found this entry following links through a mutual friend, so I am not aware of your entries (i.e. what you write about). I do however support you and others in your right to express yourself as you see fit, even though I know OD is not a democracy. :P I do find it hypocritical that you have been "warned" by (if it's the same person) someone who I hear used to do/write the same way up here. [~ me]
11/24/2008 7:51:10 AM
P.S. There IS a way to implement an "adults only" section in OD, the now defunct (?) Yahoo 360 had it. I think myspace has something similar also, though I can't really remember if it was myspace or some other site I had visited. Anyway, good luck with you campaign. [~ me]
11/24/2008 7:54:58 AM
I fully support an "Adults only" section but I have to admit to being kind of resentful that the subject has come up in this way. You gave more warning then most would have, that someone read passed that and then complained is disgusting.
I think "Adults Only" is a great idea. If someone had an objection to the entry, why did he/she keep reading and then complain? I don't think anyone is forced to read something they don't want to. [MyKid'sMom2.0]
11/24/2008 1:40:46 PM
This is dirtier - and funnier - than the first version. I love it. Keep it up -
I like that you are not demanding your rights here - I like that it is a request. Requests are always sexier than demands - oh there I go again.
I think the Adults Only option would work - our children's innocence is a pretty bygone concept anymore.
I've followed the links here from one of my faves, and as a diarist who has had a diary on here before for erotic writing (and not gotten busted, but took it down voluntarily), I would FULLY support an adults-only area where we could do such writing. Though, there remains the question about being able to access OD from work then, which I know many people do!
The edited version is pretty (street slang for sexual intercourse)ing funny. [DWB]
11/24/2008 5:41:29 PM
To those that are that panzi enough to report you need to tuck tail and hit the flippin back button as well. If you don't want to read it, then don't read it! Stop being a pussy and reporting people [Holli]
11/24/2008 9:31:50 PM
I have always been a supporter of the "don't like it, don't read it" theory. The DM, however, obviously caters to those diarists who can't use their own brains to make a decision.
That being said, I would LOVE an Adults Only feature. Much support for it! ~ [Tender Lumpling]
11/24/2008 11:07:14 PM
I admit I only skimmed the notes, so I'm not sure if anyone has already said this, but regarding the "Adults Only" section, I don't know, I think it's kind of like settling for something you shouldn't be forced to do simply because someone may not like what they're about to read. Maybe the better answer would be to make Open Diary accessible to only people ages 18 and over, and to also ask that you include a warning at the top of your entry. I think it's stifling the creativity behind an entry you took the time to write just because some random prude comes along and says, "Hey, I personally don't think this is appropriate, so I'm gonna report you, even though I am probably only one of a dozen or so who feels that way." It's not fair for you to have to hide your entries in a separate section just so a handful of people aren't offended, especially when you've already clearly warned the reader that if they don't want to read an adult entry, they ought to go elsewhere. How is that your fault? They chose to read. That's so stupid. Someone once flipped out on me because I was upset about a night of bad sex that my husband and I had, and I wrote my feelings [Mayor of Nerdville]
11/25/2008 1:27:25 AM
about it in an entry. I didn't even get descriptive, I wrote more or less about the feelings behind it, but apparently it offended her and she effin' flipped out on me. I wasn't reported, but it's the same sort of thing -- it's my diary to write what I feel, and if I warn you that you might not want to read about my sex life, and you know you're gonna get offended, then why the hell are you gonna keep on reading anyway?!? I wonder if this is the same person who reported you. I wouldn't put it past her. Anyway, I came in from Reader's Choice and thought I'd say hello. I caught your entry in its censored version and I thought it was absolutely hilarious! I bet it was also good before you had to clean it up. [Mayor of Nerdville]
no...majority rules and I think you'll find the majority of people here are decent caring folks with better things on their mind than over-rated sex and sick inuendos. Maybe you have no idea about such values as respect for others, but in this world we consider other people and would not deliberatly wish to offend any heart. I think you are on the wrong website. [Gypsy Spirit]
11/26/2008 4:47:04 PM
shrugs ... personally I don't read anything if I don't want to read .. frankly and personally I prefer by far your "intellectual, psychological and philosophical" entries.
I must say I am surprised at the number of notes this has provoked ... I'd love to have as many on some of my modest entries ;-) I'd like to add that I'm not a prude but have never been attracted to or needed, porno or near pornography, to live my sex life. The more 'down to earth' attitude of a number of men in this respect, tends to make me smile. But that's not the subject, I would tend to say let DM set his mind and his rules for the greater benefit of the whole community. [Claudine a l'ecole]
11/27/2008 1:37:36 PM
I have never seen so many notes on an entry in my entire life. [Frankensugar]
11/28/2008 5:26:42 PM
i'm joining the queue. bring on the adults only section of OD! time for expansion!! [Horny♥Goddess]
11/28/2008 9:45:12 PM
Adults only warning sounds good to me. This way when someone comes to your OD they can't complain because they will know it's adults only content. Yea we know there are teens, but some ppl have had there OD before OD took teenOD and put it with just OD, plus if ppl would read the warning content then they shouldn't have a right to complain!
Not trying to be offensive, but this writing doesn't do much for me. I do read erotica but don't particularly like the four letter words. That said, I was gald to give my support to your request for a way being found for people to publish their erotica (or, for goodness sake their atheism, bible-thumping, asinine political views .. i.e. views different from mine, .. and even religious or racial slurs .. I am not in favour of censorship of any kind, except in hte case of pwoer imbalance, or non-consent. Mere gentials don't interest me .. if I saw photos of them I'd move on, uninterested, but not offended. Anyway, I hope both points f view can co-exist, with a bit of goodwill, but I do draw the line at linking 'porn' with the appalling child abuse that has just taken place in NZ. Ridiculous. [Equanimous]