If you are reading this and wondering, "Why the hell is he at prom?" go back to the previous entry. Questions all answered in a bright box with a fluffy pink bow. =)

So....prom. Well, how about I just give a play by play. That will help me keep objective and on track. Who knows on what tangent I will end up on if I try to metophorically sum up the themes of the event.

I will say this, though. I did make history. I was the first gay-date to ever attend a prom at that school. It was very inspirational and such a check with my personal feelings about my orientation. If I had attempted to do that two years ago, even one year ago, I would have shut down. I was nervous, but more empowered than anything else. GO PRIDE!

Friday, I went shopping. I wanted a new tie for the evening and ended up with new pin-stripe pants from Express, new Bostonian shoes, a new peach shirt, and a new Ralph Lauren electric blue tie. Hot. So, yeah, I spent more than I was supposed to. Thats the bitch of having plastic.

Saturday afternoon (yeah, who gets all dressed up at 4:00 pm...) I got all spiffed up and headed downtown to meet the group.The evening begins.

5:05 pm - I arrive downtown at the Tortialla Factory across from the Tennessee Aquarium. I meet Kohry and two of his friends. We go inside and I quickly realize that we have reservations for a party of 17. Yikes.

5:12 pm - People for our table trickle, all looking plastic and expensive. I became the side-ordament and sat there for a while. Kohry left the table a couple times; not wanting to be rude, I looked around the table and tried to make conversation. DIdn't work.

5:45 pm - Kohry makes the remarkably observant comment that no one loos like they are enjoying themselves. No one really was. At all.

6:30 pm - We leave the restaurant and break away from the 15 other friends. I can now finally BREATHE! Honestly, the air was stiffeling with akwardness.

7:10 pm - We make a detour to Fazolis, where he works, to see his co-workers. All 15 other friends show up as well. So, its the Mascarade in the middle of the dinning room. Awesome. Again, I am the side-ordament that gets looked at and coo-ed over.

7:30 pm - We arrive at the Coullenaide and walk the red carpet to pick up our tickets. Mine is labeled JOHNNY CARSON. Kohry explained that he couldn't remember my last name so the girl just made something up.

7:45 pm - We finish socializing and head into the ball room. The decorations consisted of a dance floor, two project screens on either side, a rack of DJ lights over head....and table clothes and candles. There was a random 3-D 2006 on the side and a terrifying masked statue over in the corner, casting more of a shadow than an actual presence. The room was huge, too big for their sparse attention to design. I was thinking, "Come on, people!  Your tickets were $50 a pop!  I did better than this on a budget a quarter of the size!" Then I found out that it was a fundraiser.

8:10 pm - Kohry has talked to almost every girl in the room, and I've been introduced to about half of them. By now, we have a herum of his fag-hags and I am being bombarded on every side by the most random things you could imagine. "Kohry says you go to college. Do you like Jello?"

8:20 pm - The dance floor is completely full of people, but no one is dancing. We head over that way and start our gyrations. Kohry goes off to dance with some girl, so I dance with the group of five or so girls. Within minutes, I recieve the "Date of the Night" award from one of them.

8:35 pm - Kohry is back, but dancing with a girl beside us. So, I grab one of his friends and offer a dance. We start dancing. Good times.

8:39 pm - All of a sudden, she starts looking at me wierd and all. I ask what is the matter. "We are being talked about." I ask her if she wants to stop. "Well...................(scrunched up face) Kinda...."

8:40 pm - I utter out-load, "Oh, yeah, I forgot how fake and superficial high school was." Go me. I return to dancing with myself and having a great time.

8:50 pm - Kohry and I are now dancing. Some guy comes rushing by and yelling, "Yay! GAY PEOPLE!  Yay!" I yell "YAY!" back.

8:52 pm - Two jocks show up and start doing an imitation doggy-style fuck-dance. People around us start laughing. I turn Kohry around and do the exact same thing they are doing. They stop, bewildered, and look at us. They quickly faded into the crowd.

9:00 pm - They start the "Senior March" where the seniors are each announced as they come through a cheesily-lit arch way escorted by their dates. Half the seniors (including us) didn't participate, but rather migrated to the refreshments table and socialized.

9:35 pm - Prom King and Queen are announced. Kohry didn't win either.

9:42 pm - The legendary Slow Dance begins to Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing." We start slow dancing in the middle of the crowd. A gradual wave insues, everyone a-gast that two guys are slow-dancing, violating the sacred number. Guys were even picking their dates up so that they could see us over the height of the crowd. Several of Kohry's friends just started yelling at people and causing even more of a scene. I just put my hand over Kohry's eyes and we danced. He told me later it was his favorite part of the night.

9:55 pm - He goes off to dance on the speakers with some hot black girls who can move. While the group of them put Christina's Dirrty video to shame, I stand over on the side and talk to a couple cool guys.

10:15 pm - I save a girl from a terrifying date; we dance and talk about life, birds, and chewing gum.

10:30 pm - Kohry, Ashley, and JR and I peace out to go bowling.

11:10 pm - We bowl. Some kind of weird and supernatural ju-ju takes hold of my body and leads me to a win with the score of 145. Gosh!  I've never bowled that well. Yeah, I don't do it too often. Plus, I hate the "sport." Or pass-time. Whatever you call it.

12:15 pm - I tell Kohry I have to head home. He asks me to drive him home.

12:50 pm - A couple miles down the road turns into Bumblefuck, Virginia. I drop him off, he makes me come inside to see his room....yada yada yada, I finally excused myself and got out of there, adverting his subtle gesture for After-Prom Sex. No thanks.

1:15 am - I arrive home and have better After-Prom Sex.