| Like a comet pulled from orbit |
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I don't think I can say much because I am emotionally exhausted, but I am - generally - doing ok. I've actually been able to work this week. My bathroom-mate has gone away for a few months, which gives me more space - much needed space, during which I need to find a way to forgive myself. I can't prioritise her needs and sacrifice mine. I definitely have done that. I almost need to cut and run. I'm tired of this, but I'm ok. It's just been a day with a difficult, brutal conversation about it... My friend said to me today that I accomplished a hell of a lot this term because I survived it. Can I be proud of myself for that? Psychiatrist tomorrow AND doctor (psych said I need a neurologist referral now as prob want to do another MRI due to the shaking not having gone completely over 6 weeks after stopped taking the drugs...). Exhausting. BUT: I do have boy news. Made out with a cute guy Thursday after the gala (which was wonderful and a lot of fun!). Ok so I didn't mean to end up in my room with him,, fooling around... and at the time he could have been anyone, which is bad (but NOT evidence that I am bipolar!)... but I do kind of like him, and he evidently does like me (he's being so cute!). We have a date Monday, which will be fun. I said I wasn't going to get involved with anyone until I was emotionally stable... So we will see. But still, yay. :-) I appear to be coping. I appear almost normal. My MA advisor said I looked great today (in contrast to the emotional wreck I was the last time I saw her!). And I am working. I'm on the way. I think.
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