I'm really not sure what's changed since this morning but I'm feeling rather calm right now about everything.  I am hoping that my mind is going to let things ease.  I mean, yes I'm really worried about everything but I've got to keep telling myself that I need to calm down for my Hubby's benefit.  The closest things he's ever had to surgery is 3 stitches in his thumb.  He has got to be a nervous wreck himself.  He's being so tough by saying he's going to try and talk the dentist into just local anesthetic and not general but I know that scares the hell out of him.  I shouldn't put him through that.  I'm trying really hard to not make him feel he has to do that.  I mean, yes, I have a knot in my stomach that doesn't want to go away but I have to expect that from now until the 21st.  It won't go away until it is all over and I can give him a hug.  (I'd say kiss but I don't think there will be any kissing for a while afterward.)  The few thoughts I'm having in my waking hours seems to be more of just dread of seeing him in pain.  (I remember what mine was like and I've become accustomed to pain.)  He's one of those that will pretend that everything is fine just so you don't feel obligated to baby him and I know he's going to have to be honest with himself about this or it will be worse.  Well, anyway, just wanted to check in and say that things are on the calm right now.  I've got good thoughts or at least mild thoughts on my mind.  We'll see how it works when the subconscious kicks in tonight.  In the mean time...

I Love You Sweetie 

Michelle

P.S. If this line doesn't make sense ignore it: 

If I'm right about you reading this... I didn't just write this entry to make you feel easier about this... It's the truth.  Love ya