My x-room mate, we're still good friends, and the only reason he's my x room mate is because I had to move for a bit. He's the one I came out to, and he has assured me many times, that he's not gay. I on the other hand, belive differant.
I figured him for atleast bisexual before I came out to him, and thats part of the reason I did come out to him. We did ton's of what I would call, gay things;
back rubs untill the person on bottom fell alseep,
"" Erotic wrestling ""
We spent hours talking, before I was room mates with him, we spent hours on the phone talking.
Him trusting me with information he wouldn't tell anyone.
Since I've come out to him the same things have continued going on, and a bit more, like him walking around naked more, more subtle looks and winking, ect. ect..
There are countless other little things too, too many to put on here, and probably too graphic to describe.
But time and time after he's told me he doesn't like me like that. I suppose I can come to accept that, all those above things continue, so it makes me wonder.
I'm afraid if I say something to him, he'll stop doing those things, to put a 'stop' to my thinking like that. Which, I would hate greatly.
The odd thing is, all of my guy friends, ask me what they should do when it comes to romance, what they should do when a girl does something, or what a girl means when they say something.. and most the time, I'm pretty dead on in my answers. But when it comes to guys, I'm a complete and total airhead. So much gets by me. Probably because I get so excited or too into the moment.
Anyways, I'm straying from topic here.
I thought gay-dar came with the package deal here. Most my gay preminitions just seem like hopeful wishing to me.
It tears me up being away from him. Not being together is really getting to me. Even if we can't have the type of relationship that I'd like, I'd rather be their as a good friend, then over here, as a good friend.
My friend rachel, whom I've talked to this about, says to just give it time. But I've already given it a lot of time, and to me, it seems like he's loosing intrest. Hopefully this proglonged distance will make him miss me, and then from there, who knows.
Bah, it ain't easy bein gay
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