I miss him so much. I can't get him and a few other things off of my mind. Last night when I got off line I went into my room and started crying. All these feelings came pouring out. I realized that the closest thing to me is my gaurdian angel Eli and my baby blanket. Of course they are both resources but what made me cry is that neither of them are an actual person. The only reason they know me inside out is because they are me. So in essence I talk to myself. It made me really sad to know that. That I don't have a single friend that knows me that well. There was Sam... But she ditched me to get sympathy for her own problems. I bet not one of the people I hang out with knows that I cry at least 3 times a week... I bet none of them even knows what my favorite color is... ::sigh:: I really miss Evan. He's the closest to me... As of now. And I haven't talked to/seen him in over a week. It's so... not right. I need someone to talk to about even the smallest things and even though he may not know it, he's the one I talk to. I feel safe letting him know what's on my mind. First person ever since Sam... But I haven't heard from him nor have I been able to contact him so I have no idea what's going on... Every thing's messed up. I'm messed up. My whole head feels like it's been stuck in a blender and turned on high. I can't even carry on a normal conversation without wanting to cry anymore. Nothing makes sense.... .... .. .. .
|:. I will forever be that Hopeless. Romantic. .:|