So you’d think I forgot this whole diary thing existed, but no, I’m just lazy.

It’s after three in the morning, and I really feel like I should be asleep. But I’m not the least bit tired. I’ll chalk it up to taking Benadryl for a few days. I firmly believe that the way Benadryl works is to just knock you out cold for at least hours so you can’t be bothered by your symptoms. I’ve been asleep or walking about like a zombie for the last few days. Now that it’s finally all out of my system I’m not the least bit tired. Not that that’s even a tiny bit surprising.

I’m still not working. I’ve sent in dozens and dozens of applications, and pretty much heard nothing back. I’m not surprised at all. There are so many people trying to get jobs around here at the moment. I cold put in more effort, but I’ll be honest, I just don’t care that much. It all seems like it’s going nowhere when you don’t hear back from anyone, so it’s hard to be motivated.

I’m getting unemployment from the state for now. So, there is some money coming in, even though I don’t feel like I really need it. I don’t really ever spend money on much of anything. The occasional CD or craft project. That’s basically it.

I’m vowing to start really looking at Master’s programs this summer. I still want to do bioethics, and just don’t want to do law or medicine with it; I have to talk to people at schools (CASE and Pitt specifically) and see if I can do it with a Master’s in social work or something. Truthfully, I wouldn’t mind living in Pittsburgh for a couple years while I’m going to school. Cleveland wouldn’t be too bad either; I’m pretty used to it by now.

Last month and this month I’ve been taking Wilton cake decorating classes. It’s something I’ve always wanted to learn how to do, and since I’m not doing much of anything else right now it seems like a good time. It’s easier than I thought it’d be actually. It’s fun too. Just chalk it up as another on my long list of skills that will on no way help prepare me for a future or help fill up space on a resume.

Stanley Cup Playoffs started today. So exciting. FYI, my mom is so sick of me hi-jacking the TV to watch hockey games; me, being the good daughter that I am, couldn’t care less.

The Penguins have Philadelphia in the first round; if they don’t win this series, I’ll probably just start crying on the spot—that or get really mad and start throwing things. Let’s be honest, I’m not much of a crier, especially if something doesn’t directly impact my future, so it’ll more likely be the throwing things one.

The Blue Jackets made it to the playoffs for the first time ever. It’s crazy exciting. Unfortunately the kind of fail-boated in their last couple games of the season, and couldn’t pick up the one measly point they needed to hold onto the sixth seed. Which means they get to play Detroit in the first round. Boo. As much as I’d like to see them pull off one of the biggest upsets imaginable, I don’t think it’s gonna happen. I mean, they fully have the ability to beat the Wings when they’re playing good; I just don’t see it happening four times in seven game. More likely Detroit will take the series in 5 or 6 games. Oh well, at least they can enjoy their first time in the playoffs for a little while—motivation for next year and all that.

So, I’ve been making myself write for a little while each day. Mostly it’s nonsense stuff; I haven’t really had the concentration to work on anything more long and intensive for a while—even though I do have a few ideas floating around in my head. I severely lack discipline though, so making myself write for at least a little bit each day has been good for me. Now I just have to focus my energies in one direction I’d be so beyond proud of myself. Maybe in a couple months, when there’s not hockey, cake-decorating classes, and the two or three TV shows I still watch to distract me, I can shoot for that.

Okay, that’s it. I’m off to waste my time somewhere else until I can finally fall asleep.

Into The Airwaves,
~Sam~

“The world is spinning way too fast.
The entire human race, will float into space.
So fill your shoes with cement,
And kiss the ones you love,
With reckless abandonment.”
~The Spill Canvas, Reckless Abandonment      
~