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November 1st, 2005 was the first day I didn't kiss Thom goodbye when I left his bed for my first day of work at Caribou on Johnson Ferry, which is SO far away from Thom's house. You could say we fought all day. I gave Thom an eclair and an apple turnover for our year and 1/2 a month anniversary, and he was pissed that he had to take the eclair home to refrigerate it because he didn't want to eat it. Then we get to his house, and we start arguing about something else, or maybe we weren't arguing-- maybe we were still upset with each other, me because I gave him a surprise present and he seemed indifferent, and him because he hates being home.
I kissed his forehead and cheek a little and he pushed me away, something he's never done before. He went into the basement into his room while I lay on the couch trying not to cry. I went into his room a few minutes later and he was setting his alarm clock, and then he brushed his teeth and came into bed with me. He read for a minute or two, and then put his book down and attempted sleeping. I smoothed over his back and ribs with my fingers and removed my jeans and panties. I pulled his arm over to me. I wanted him to put his fingers inside me, but he resisted. He slept, while I lay there waiting for him to turn over and grab me and hold me and kiss me and shove his fingers inside me. He didn't. I lay there waiting for him to unbuckle his belt and remove his new DKNY jeans and put my hands above my head and roughly thrust himself into me. He didn't. I lay there waiting for ten minutes. I continue checking my insulin pump to see how much time Thom had left to start appeasing me. I left zipping my fly and buckling my belt and closing the door not gently, but not loudly.
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Hello from centuries ago, darling.
I adore the shameless representation of your sex life. It demonstrates an ability to fling open the doors (or legs, perhaps) and declare, as any artist must: this is it.
But I wonder...do you rely on sex as a healing mechanism? Is it your way of hiding by appearing so boldly available? Perhaps Thom knows this and thus rejected you, hoping for something else. [The Dionysian]
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11/3/2006 5:22:00 AM
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