I'm about to go off on my Spring Break trip and I could not be any more ready to get out of here. This semester has sucked balls. Big huge balls. Two of my friends from highschool overdosed. I wasn't very close to them, but it's just like one hit after another. It's gotten to the point where I'm just like well I wonder who's next. Its this cloud looming over all of our heads because people keep dying. At one of my friends funerals it was actually an open casket. I literally almost dropped to the floor after walking in and seeing my friend lying there in a coffin dead. I wish I had never had to see that. He dated my best friend for two years and there he was with no life in him, just dead. I definitely need this break.

Life in Charleston's getting annoying too. This is just a place where every now and then you have to get away. I never thought I would do coke but here it is EVERYWHERE. It's ridiculous. You see some people go into a room and immediately you know what they're doing. And then its just like moths to a flame. One friends already in rehab. It's just so fast here. Everything here is in excess. They weren't lying when they said it was a party school. I stopped taking pills, especially after my friend overdosed. I just didn't realize how dangerous it could be. And I mean, it wasn't like I was taking pills all the time, just occasionally it was fun to take a valium or something when I went out. And I'm proud to say I've only done coke once. I can't ever do it again. I liked it, and that scared me. I have such an obsessive personality I know that if i kept doing it socially I would go out of control. And it's pretty fucking stupid anyways. Its all just so stupid.

I've really drawn back though. I've kind of been a hermit lately just staying in my room not doing anything. I just haven't been happy. I'm just sick of fucking everything.