So, what has R.A.P. been up to lately...?
Been busy with work the past two days. Nothing exciting took place there ... the usual, mundane shit. Retail gets pretty boring when there are no customers in the store... It's slow and feels like mad torment, justing waiting for the minutes to pass by... Yes, work was boring.
Tonight though, I'll be going out on my date with James. My parents don't know about it or about him. Sucks that I have to hide this from my parents...but what can I do. I gotta live my life the way I see fit. Fuck what my parents think or say. It's funny... Angela and a colleague from work both refer to me as the whitest brown girl they know, a "mungicake". I like the title. I like the fact that people think i am cool like that and not bound by fucking culture and tradition.
What do I personally think of my identity as an Indo-Canadian? I like it... I fucken hate constricting Indian culture although I must say that it does have its good points, which I don't want to delve into today. White culture, on the other hand, well, I'm pretty "white" for an Indian girl. I think I have great character... I carve my own path in the world and don't conform to stereotypes... ex: the perfect Indian wife stereotype...you know, the trophy wife, an educated woman who cannot go anywhere without her fucken man at her side. .. Yes, I don't want to be married to some scumbag that my parents will choose. I can't cook. I can't clean. And I am fucken proud. I have drive. I have ambition. I have a mind of my own. I have talent. I have beauty. I am independent.... I. AM. CANADIAN.
Wow... I totally digressed there, didn't I? And, did you sense anger and irritation in my writing? Let me explain... you see, mom and dad will be out at a casino tonight. Fucken incredible! They are actually doing things together... like Canadians... wow... after nine fucken years in this country they are finally loosening up and starting to have a good time. I must mention though that they are going with my dad's friend (and his wife, I think) and that the tickets were cheap as hell. But good for them. I hope they have a good time.
Yes, so, they'll be out tonight... and they want me to be home early. I lied and told them that I was gonna be with Angela. That we'd be watching a movie... a fucken liar I am. But I don't care. It's not like they ever made it easy for me to say what was on my mind and express myself. Indian culture is fucken rot like that. I'll be getting home pretty late, at maybe 1p.m. in the night. They don't know that though. I didn't specify what time I'd be home...
I'm just gonna change plans... I just called James.. Boy, that guy is such a nerd. He told me that he was planning to read a book out in his garden. A mystery thriller... I told him that bussing was very bad late at night. We changed plans for like the third fucken time. We agreed finally to go out to the mall and loft around there, maybe catch a movie later. I don't know how things will go with him...
I will write about it later.