Ladies of OD, is it problematic if you're more of a man than your date?
I think so. I was out with James last night. He is one of the most fastidious, proper and soft-hearted men I have ever dated. He is also a miser of the highest order. But despite these qualities there was something about him that I found alluring... slightly... Give me time to explain.
James is tall -- 6 feet 2 inches. I never noticed that about him before ...but it became ever so prominent last night. OD, I am very short... 4"7... tiny as heck. I looked like a hobbit next to him. That's what he called me... a hobbit. It's true. He said he felt like a giant next to me. Now, y'all know I don't date tall guys. A guy's height, if he is too tall, is enough to disqualify him for a date with me. I felt a bit awkward next to him... I reached up to his chest... it sure must have looked funny to people who saw us together.
Height was only one of his distinguishing characteristics. The other one: thriftiness. He did not spend a single penny on me. I took that as a hint... that maybe he just wants to be friends and he was not treating this rendez-vous of ours as a date. Or maybe it was because I referred to him as "a friend" to a few people I knew who asked about the two of us in the mall. I called him "a friend" casually... Not, "my date" but "my friend". I don't know exactly why I did that... I guess it's because I didn't want to get this guy's hopes up too much. I was really getting tired of wandering about the mall aimlessly with him... and I was also finding his general soft-spokeness to be a bit irritating. I was also starting to question his manhood while we entered , upon his lead, stores such as Bowring (a home decor place), Pet Shop Plus (where we checked out fishes and puppies), Lush (a cosmetic deli place) and Home Outfitters (a bed, bath, and kitchen superstore...where he looked for a gift for his mother. Apparently he owed her a Mother'd Day gift. We ended up walking out of the store with a 5 dollar marinade sauce...that cheapstake).
I am harsh. I am very brutal, calling him a cheapstake like that. He told me that he had just quit his job recently and was looking into landscaping work. I told him to consider retail as an option. He shrugged off the idea... I told him that he really shouldn't be picky at this stage... that he should be open to any job out there... Meh, there's more money in landscaping..... Sorry, I am straying away from my point. My point: he is a miser because of the way he was brought up... he was taught frugality ... his parents were hippies (Yes, I really know how to pick my men, eh?) who rejected consumerism and spendthrift habits/extravagance. OK. I understand, James. But the least you could have done was purchase me a bottle of water. I was thirsty and had no cash on me... but you did. You could have at least done that out of courtesy... Yeesh!
But... here's where things changed. Here's where my attitude towards him changed... After we strolled about the mall and had lunch (which, for the record, I paid for with my own moo-lah) we headed over to the movie theatre adjacent to the mall. Movie times for Mission Impossible 3 (that's what we had agreed upon watching after much debating) went late into the night, and the poor baby boy had to leave before the buses stopped running for the day, so we decided to just take a stroll in a park nearby. That was my idea. James wanted to spend money on tokens for air hockey and I convinced him out of it. I did the math in my head and figured out that one game would cost us two-dollars and fifty cents. That was a bloody rip-off. I can't believe the young fool wanted to expend his money like that... on some silly game. Not even I would do that. And I am a major spendthrift!
So, we went out to a back alley near the theatre. We sat on a low bench. James complained that the tree behind us was digging into his back and moved closer into me. I could sense that he wanted to hold me... and kiss me. I didn't make it that easy for him. I wanted to know how much of a man he was... so I played innocent. We chatted for a bit...light conversation... He asked me about my previous relationships with men. I said I didn't have any. I brought up Aaron but said that I didn't know whether you could call something so brief (8 dates in 6months) a relationship. He said he found that surprising. "Why does that surprise you?" I asked. "Because you are beautiful," he replied. I grinned. "Thanks!" And then, a little later on in our conversation...after I burst out in response to something he had said with "we are both nerds!", he replied with "Did you know that nerds are good kissers?" *laughs* OK!! Very smooth... Very smooth... I did like that witty comment, friends of O.D.. So then we started making out.
He's not a bad kisser. I will give him that much... He is a flirt. He is romantic. He made me smile. And I did like the feel of his body next to mine.... I will not lie. I found him charming... in a very different way. He was different. I cannot really describe ..well, I can, I can. He has this innocence about him, and his somewhat reserved nature I found a tad appealing. Weird, eh? I thought I was into the loud, boisterious types... but I was developing a fondness for this guy. He planted soft kisses on my face... very gently. I gave his neck a good smooching and played with his earlobe...with my tongue... Damn, do I ever love making out! That lasted for a good hour... talking, kissing...He has only one dimple (which I found cute as heck) and I stuck my tongue in it. He planted wet kisses on my chest... that felt nice.
So... first-base, second-base? I think, first-base. Sadly, there was no groping or suckling of breasts or fondling of privates from either of our ends. I did think of playing with his nipples with my mouth, but decided against it. If I took off his shirt, then he'd expect the same of me. I kept it clean. We did. Both of us. We kept it clean. No heavy petting. PG-13 rating, for the passers-by who watched the show... groups of teenagers and policemen in their cruisers. On the way to the busstop we once again passed through the back alley. James tried to hide his erection.. his swelling member, by adjusting his pants. I laughed at him... He grinned.
And that is where it ends, friends... We had a so-so time together... things picked up at the end... in the final hour. Would I date him again? Yes. I'd probably spend time with him again... but I think it would be best if we remained only friends. I was really turned-off by his thriftiness... and his height... not a turn-off, the height thing. Just a tad weird. He is a nice boy. A very proper guy who respects women which I liked... But I must say, he is not totally my type... but a good guy overall. Oh... I forgot to mention this: he used to be a heavy drinker. When he was in highschool he'd often go barhopping, out for his "liquid lunches". But he smartened up quite a bit, he said, after, one night, regurgitating after one final and fatal drink. "Well, something had to teach ya!" I said, laughing. He doesn't drink anymore as he associates every drink with having some deadly poison in it. Good ... good for him. Oh and also, I must mention, he has a GPA of 3.55. He is a VERY bright boy. A political science major...
Oh yes... one more thing. James told me a story about himself... he got kicked out of school for wearing a leather jacket. The school board was coming down with a dress code and James was one of the guys who rebelled. I found the fact quite hard to believe. A rebel with a cause, he called himself. What a nut!
I don't know, friends, if I will ever warm up to this guy completely. But who knows. I am fickle when it comes to matters of the heart, and also very non-comittal. I don't know, I've never really limited myself to one person, or one thing... or one anything. It's funny... as we walked past the theatre --named Famous Players-- I asked James if he was a player. "I am not famous. And I am not a player. But I play," he said patting me on the ass. "What do you play?" I asked him teasingly. "Tennis, ping-pong," he replied. "I play too," I said. "What do you play?" he asked. "Men," I replied laughing..."just kidding!". I'll admit here though, friends, that I was not altogether kidding...