|Elmer's Washable School Glue|
Are there things that are truly impossible to do?
I've begun wondering lately how many complete strangers have a glimpse of me in their photographs. Think of a family taking a group photo in a theme park. You see them as you walk past. What if, in that infinitesimal moment that the shutter clicks, you were passing through the frame? I'm sure it has happened far more times than i can imagine. Of all the places I've been, with all the cameras in those places. I bet those pictures are more telling and more personal than any that I have myself. Because they are candid. I am unconcerned about that photograph. And the look on my face is honest. As opposed to a paper-thin illusion of happiness. I wouldn't mind getting my hands on a few.
4:16am. Second update in less than two hours. Looking up words i've never understood. This is what insomnia looks like. This is what helpless looks like.
I know two songs called "Let Go" that i love most tenderly. Avril Lavigne had a record called Let Go. I used to like her. It's a sign. Maybe I should.
What decides if a person is likeable or not? In theory, couldn't someone choose to like everyone? If they had no opinions or reservations. I'm not saying that one person can be liked by everyone, even though it seems like some are. That would defeat the concept of humanity. That we are so diverse. Everyone coudn't agree on one thing. Maybe if people-pleasers realized that, they wouldn't get so torn up when they met a mean person. But ONE person could decide to like everyone. Making them unique. Too unique.
I wish i knew why my friends were so sad. More people could trust me if they chose to. I am trustworthy. I rarely betray. I can't say i never have. But i don't manhandle people's secrets. I feel like people must think that. Because i get a rush when people confide in me. Would that happen if it weren't rare. No. I think my mind is formatted differently than my friends. I can't see what my secrets are until after i tell someone. To me, everything is grouped together until it gets through my test audience. But some people decide that it feels better to stuff themselves full of the stuff they could share and let slip the things that are best kept inside.
Ask me a question you never thought i'd answer. Won't it feel strange when i do?
I love you, can't you see that?
Time shows us that all that ever mattered leaves us in the cold. If you ever believe this is what you need, it will spin around and shatter, throw you to the floor as it leaves us in the cold.