hey everyone how's it going? Guuuurrrrreeeaaaatttt here just chillin in my study hall class...fun..fun..BORING! I'm supposed to be studying for finals but my brain is not functioning right at this moment and I'm extremely tired. I didn't go to bed last night until late cuz I was fighting with my better half. He knows I want to go see him so bad but I don't have a way and he's been pissy since the day before yesterday cuz he got suspended last week and can't go back to school until this friday, and cuz he doesn't have any chew. I cried last night cuz he was being so grumpy. I thought it was funny at first but then it got to gettin serious. I think we either need to quit arguing or we need to have a serious talk about it although I do admit the reason we are like this is because of me. I really do love him wether he believes me or not and it scares me...I don't know what to do. I want to be with him forever and I can't even imagine what I would do if he walked out of my life...I would become a complete basket case! I would literally go nuts! The ironic thing about us and my sister and Justin dating is that everytime her and Justin are doing ohkay then Austin and I fight and vise versa. I literally cry myself to sleep everytime we fight. He doesn't know this so shhhh.....I can't tell him cuz he would think I am a total fool which wouldn't be too good. I do kinda feel better since I've cried and got it all out but I just want to go into a corner and never come out. I feel so bad for treating him the way I do sometimes cuz he's so good to me and I feel really shitty. He's my baby nontheless but I feel that I am making him do everything for me. He could do way better than me and after everything that we have gone through I don't get why he's still with me although it's a blessing on my part! If he ever leaves me which I don't even like thinking about and I hope would never happen just like I said I would never be able to forgive myself. Well anyways now that I've vented I'm going to get off of here and study....talk atcha later! -Kaitlin